Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Your call is important to us; thank you for holding...

Don't you love that? You'd think that if they were serious about the "important" part they might hire somebody to answer the phone.

Today I came home to a voice mail from Abby at my mortgage company. I get these once in awhile. Usually they're trying to sell some extra service that you'd already be getting if you thought it was important. I figure right away it isn't, but what the heck, I give a call back anyway.

Just trying to be polite.

"Your call is important to us. Thank you for holding."

So I hold. Every couple of minutes the recording comes back to remind me that my call is important blah blah blah...

Eventually Chantal takes my call. She thanks me for holding. Before she can tell me why they called she needs to ask a few questions for security purposes.

Wants my address and phone number.  I pass that test.

Then she wants to know my ten digit mortgage number. I don't have that handy, and since they called me, I figure we'll have to work around it.

She wants to know how often I make the payments.

Every two weeks. Passed that test.

When was the last payment?

Two weeks ago tomorrow.

Chantal isn't happy with my answer. We go back and forth on this for a couple of minutes. Finally I suggest she consult a calendar.

I passed that test too.

Then she needs to know the amount of the payment.

Five hundred and eighty three dollars and change.

How much change?

Well, without looking at a bank statement I don't know, and I'm just returning a call they made because I'm trying to be polite.

Chantal isn't pleased. She's not going to divulge the secret information if I can't come up with the exact amount of the payment, right down to the penny.

So I tell Chantal I'll just sit tight and wait for Abby to call back and wish her a good day.

This strikes me as a terribly inefficient use of Chantal's time. I'm sure it's not her fault. I'm sure she's just following a script.

And the extra layer of mortgage insurance or whatever that they were hoping to sell me is going to go unsold.

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