Pot-addled hillbilly accidently smokes live earwig

First off, I gotta say earwigs get a bad rap. Ya, they're creepy-crawly and they give you the heebie-jeebies. Truth is, they don't bite, they're completely harmless, and they wouldn't know your ear from your arsehole. That said, I'm no fan, and it disturbs me that they seem to be having a good summer. I've seen more earwigs on the stoop this year than ever before. Which is how it came about that I accidently smoked one. I'd been watching the turkey vultures soaring a good part of the afternoon, and somewhere along the line I had a pull on the vape. Left my stash out there in the open, fully exposed. A few hours later I reload the vape, and by the way, I recommend these little gadgets to every old-school pot-head who still insists on twisting up a reefer. They're so much easier on your lungs. Anyway, I pack my vaporizer in the semi-darkness, and when I hit the on switch, I start to hear something, which is odd, because in all my time on this technology it's been absolutely dead silent. Sounds like something's sizzling... What to do? Well, better have a few more pulls on the vape while I ponder this. That's when I notice the earwigs crawling around in the shoe-box lid that serves as my shake tray... I'd just inhaled an incinerating earwig!