A Trump victory would endanger your freedom to jerk off! Vote for Kamala!

Right after Kamala was anointed heir to the throne by the Dem party bigs, ie the senior party worthies and their billionaire donors, we saw the “mainstream media” erupt in a geyser of pro-Kamala euphoria. Kamala was “brat,” whatever that means. The brat thing lasted about three days, and by then Kamala had the “joy” thing going on. One thing is as authentic as the next, I suppose… I’ve been struggling to figure out what differences there might be if the forces of light happen to steal another election from the Trumpian forces of darkness. In terms of foreign policy, can’t say I see any daylight between them. Ya, I see the Dems still pretending they’re with Zelensky with “whatever it takes for as long as it takes.” Even Zelly is realizing his allies don’t have what it takes in the first place, let alone for as long as it takes. The Dems are happy enough to pin this catastrophic collapse of US prestige on the GOP. Meanwhile, in the other existential crisis, the donkey and the elephant have both sworn ironclad allegiance to Israel. Whatever it takes for as long as it takes, and this time we’re not joking around. So the only differences that can possibly matter are found in domestic politics. What are the differences in domestic policies? Well, one party dares to stand up for the gender confused, while the other party mocks them. One party advocates for the rights of women with wieners, while the other party mocks them. One party advocates for reparations for… just about everything, while the other party mocks them. Then there’s those “White dudes for Harris,” the cringiest election ads of all time. How about that white dude having a wank under the sheets, with no idea Kamala’s film crew were in the room, and even more shockingly, no idea that a Trump government would outlaw masturbation and confine the Onanists to prison camps! Oh my God! This is truly the most consequential election ever! Vote Kamala!

What if there's no "happy ending?"

One thing we generally take for granted here in the Nations of Virtue, is that the story always culminates in a “happy ending.” At least a happy ending for us. No matter how many towelheads die, as long as we killed more of them than they of us, it’s a happy ending! Unfortunately, reality is kicking the shit out of our ‘happy ending’ fantasies. No matter how hard establishment twats like Timothy Snyder try to paint the Ukrainian pig with lipstick, the fact remains that, almost three years in, NATO is losing its proxy war on Russia, Too bad half a million Ukrainians had to die to prove NATO’s ineptitude and incompetence. To say nothing of another million or so crippled either physically or mentally in this disastrous war we pushed Ukraine into. And then there’s the Holy Land front in America’s desperate attempt to keep top spot in the world order. The perennial favorite of American largesse, the only democracy in the middle east, isn’t winning in Gaza, isn’t winning in the West Bank, and isn’t winning in Lebanon. How much “not winning” do you acknowledge before you admit you’re losing? It gets harder by the day to imagine a happy ending...

Have you heard Trump is the new Hitler?

I’ll bet you have, and I’ll further bet you’ll hear it plenty more in this last week, as America’s Democracy Theatre approaches its denouement. At least till ‘28, but don’t worry, the campaigning for the next election will begin before all the votes are counted for this one. Democracy is not only a sacred trust and a gift from God; it is a cash cow, a viable industry in its own right. Just think of how many people would be out of work if we didn’t have a 10 billion dollar election every four years! If Trump wins and cancels all future elections, whatever will those hordes of election consultants do? Well, here is the beauty of Trump’s plan, and I’m sure Hitler would approve. While he’s cancelling all future elections, Trump will simultaneously deport millions of illegal alien agricultural workers. All those freshly unemployed social science grads who used to make the wheels of democracy go round, will now be picking your fruits and vegetables! Nevermind Hitler; this page is straight outta Mao’s Little Red Book, the page where he sent the intelligentsia to the hinterlands to… pick fruits and vegetables! And also to learn some humility. Truth be told, those who survived their re-education were stronger for it, proving again the old adage; “what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.” So rest easy, all you hand-wringing, pearl-clutching American yuppie liberals; if Trump don’t kill ya, you’ll come out stronger! Stay strong!

Stop blaming Israel for the genocide in Gaza

The Israel of Netanyahu today can be likened to a mad dog terrorizing its neighborhood. As any responsible dog owner can tell you, dogs are not inherently vicious. They are made to be vicious by the actions of their irresponsible masters. It should surprise no one that reports of antisemitism worldwide have spiked in the year since Israel launched its rampage. What baffles me is the absence of a corresponding spike in anti-Americanism. America is, after all, the master of this mad dog terrorizing the Middle East. It provisions the bombs and the bullets, the money and the political cover that enable the ongoing genocide. America could, if it so chose, put its attack-dog back on the leash. Instead, we have watched for over a year as they play a pathetic charade of pretending to work, tirelessly, “night and day,” to secure an ever-elusive ceasefire. Everybody from UN ambassador Linda Thomas-Greenfield to Kamala to Blinken to Genocide Joe himself have assured us over and over again how their hearts break over all those dead babies in Gaza. Bullshit! It’s time for people of goodwill to stop yelling at the dog and take the matter up with its owner.

You can't bullshit welding

Like you can a lot of professions. I spent 25 years as an "educator." Bullshit can take you a long way in that arena! Not so with welding. That trailer hitch you welded to the frame of somebodies pick-up is either gonna stay put or cause a bad headline in the local paper. With that in mind, let's take a trip down memory lane. From the archives: Hermeneutics of the welding shop We finally got Bubby into a home.Just temporarily though. She's recovering from a broken wrist on account of her last fall.That's just one of the shit-sucking side-dramas of getting older. You fall. You break stuff.You're in a home.So a couple years ago my old pal Tom had a tree fall and break the roof of his cabin on an island in the middle of a lake out in the Muskokas. Tom and I go way back to when he was an up-and-coming young academic and I was accidentally parked in a fourth year sociology course at the U of G.In fact, we go back even further than that.When I was an up and coming welder-fitter at Kearney National in Guelph, I'd often see Tom handing out commie propaganda at the plant gates. That was common around Guelph in the middle '70s. After all, the Communist Party of Canada got its start in a barn off the Silvercreek Road just behind the General Electric plant.One thing I profoundly respect about the Bubbinator is that all her clan, at least the ones who managed to dodge the death camps in the WW II, came away dyed-in-the-wool commies. Then they washed up on these shores and became entrepreneurs.Capitalists.It's a crazy fucked-up thing, but when you talk to elderly Jews you'll find a lot of heart-felt respect for socialist ideals, no matter how rich their families got playing the entrepreneurship game in the New World.The reason so many got into the entrepreneur game was because that was the most viable path open to them, especially if you arrived here from Russia or Poland without the benefit of a serious education. Interestingly enough, most of your Jewish entrepreneurs who made it big in the New World came from Eastern Europe where they were denied education opportunities.By contrast, up till the Nazi era, German Jews were, as a class, the most educated Jews and the most educated Germans in all of Europe.But I digress.Tom was in a bit of a flap about fixing the roof of his shack out there on his island in the middle of the Muskokas. He was ready to call in a contractor.Here's something you might want to know about contractors in the Muskokas.First of all, they assume anyone who has property in the Muskokas is filthy rich, and they therefore price their work accordingly.My pal Tom is a humble university professor, rather "poor" by Muskoka standards. He is not seen as a lucrative target to the local contractor community.But he still needs the roof of his cabin fixed. The tree that fell on it fractured a couple of the roof trusses. It wasn't hard to see what the local contractors would recommend; peel off the roof, replace the trusses, replace the roof... you'd get out of that for maybe twenty grand, probably closer to fifty.I got up there and eye-balled the situation. Looked to me like we could jack up the roof, and then through-bolt a couple of pieces of angle iron on the fractured trusses. That would be a "temporary" fix, but "temporary" might mean twenty years.We headed into town to fetch some angle iron.I spent my working years, or at least a goodly percentage of them, working in welding shops large and small, from Saint John Shipbuilding on the east coast to Harjim Machinery Works on Vancouver Island. One thing I know is that you can't bullshit welding. Nor can you bullshit a roof repair on an island in the Muskokas.That roof's gonna stay up or it's gonna fall down.No amount of bullshit will keep it up if the fundamentals of physics say it's gotta fall...Kearney National was a good place to fine-tune my chops. I still remember to this day the lads I learned from and worked with.Dudley. Magician with the pipe bending machine.Cheech Contini. Me and him did some serious boozing in the back shop on the afternoon shift. He taught me how to cover my tracks.Manny in shipping...So me and Tom end up at this little fab shop in Gravenhurst, looking for a few lengths of 1/4 x 3 angle iron with the holes knocked in just so. It's a fab shop that looks just like every other small-town welding joint; everybody who works there looks like they're outlaw bikers waiting for their probation to end.We just wandered in the back door and helped ourselves to the chop-saw and the iron-worker. Buddy at the front desk when we checked out enquired sarcastically whether my flip-flops had steel toes. Ministry of Labour rules or some such horse-shit.I told him ya for sure...Tom got the roof of his cabin fixed for a couple hundred bucks instead of fifty thousand. Last I heard, that roof is still keeping the warm in and the weather out.

Joy leaking out of Harris-Walz campaign fast

That didn’t take long! Seems like just a few weeks ago, when the DNC Star Chamber of billionaire donors anointed Kamala as “the chosen one,” she and Timmy were off on a tear. The mainstream media had a collective orgasm. The Trumpists were fascist weirdos, and were gonna be buried under a landslide Democratic Party triumph powered by Black Joy and unicorn farts. Well, that was then… Now we’ve seen, on that same mainstream media, several weeks worth of both Kamala and her chosen VP exposing themselves as shallow and vacuous. Perhaps there’s a redundancy there; can one be shallow without being vacuous? Or vacuous without being shallow? For instance, if you’re going to invite reporters along on a fake hunting trip, and your media pals expose you as a phony dorkshit who doesn’t even know how to reload his shotgun, does that make you vacuous, shallow, or just fucking stupid? I don’t know, but if you put the problem to a venn diagram, I suspect there’d be a whole lotta overlap amongst all three categories. And how about Kamala! I’ve watched one friendly interview after another, from Oprah three weeks ago to Anderson Cooper last night, and she’s managed to fuck up every single one of them! These are softball interviews with friendlies who want her to win! Kamala truly is the empty vessel those billionaire donors hoped for, but holy shit, not even they could have realized how empty that vessel is. The woman is a moron. Meanwhile, Trump stages a PR stunt at a shut down McDonalds, featuring fake customers, and manages to make it look like the most authentic moment in the entire election campaign. Which it probably was! And that’s the crazy thing in these end days of Empire. The entire world is fully aware of America and her acolytes’ ineptitude, our hypocrisy, our Machiavellian double and triple-dealing. But in our minds, we remain the Nations of Virtue, here to spread US-style freedom and democracy and human rights to the other 4/5ths of the planet, whether they want it or not.

Peace Prize winner demands more war

Of course she does! The Peace Prize winner is none other than Anne Applebaum, professional Putin critic and wife of Poland’s rabidly Russophobic foreign minister. The peace prize she won came from the German Booksellers Association, not the Nobel committee, so I think this story is maybe a bit of an oversell. Nevertheless, it’s interesting that you can gather a group of German elites who applaud the concept of war with Russia. These are the same people who can’t figure out why the “far right” is on the rise. Every anti-war party in Europe is automatically branded “far right.” That way the elites and their subservient media can dismiss them out of hand. They overlook the underlying reality that war fever among the voters of Europe was never acute and is fading fast. Obviously, that can only lead to more “far right” election victories. That’s why the same German elite who applaud the warmongering Applebaum are keen to outlaw the AfD. After all, you can’t have all those far-right Putin-appeasing voters hi-jacking democracy.

America is losing the war

Back in December, I wrote "Ukraine and Gaza are two fronts in the same war." That's the war to cement America's thousand year Reich for another 925 years. The war to preserve American hegemoney. The war for the American Empire. It is increasingly clear that America is losing on both fronts. On the Ukraine front, you've got sad-sack Zelly plugging his completely unhinged "Victory Plan." All that's required to achieve victory is immediate entre into NATO, and NATO boots on the ground! That is beyond delusional. On the other front, after a year of raining thousands of tons of American high exposives on Gaza, the Gaza rocketeers can still shoot back. IDF reservists are dying every day in a futile ground war. Not content to be losing in Gaza, Netanyahu has embarked on a ground invasion of Lebanon. That's gained virtually zero ground and caused multiple IDF casualties every day. Today Hezbollah hit the PMs house in Ceasarea with a drone. That doesn't happen when you're winning. Both Netanyahu and Zellensky are proxies for the American Empire. What lesson is the rest of world taking from this unfolding debacle?

Israel has lost the war

When Netanyahu and Gallant announced their plans to genocide the Palestinian people at a press conference on 9 October of last year, I figured that was 90% rah-rah rhetoric, and we’d see a few days, or maybe a week or two, of heavy-handed retaliation. The terrorists would get a sharp slap, a few thousands of Palestinians would die, and then we’d be back to the status quo. Not in my wildest imaginings could I have imagined that, one year on, Hamas is still able to shoot rockets out of their devastated enclave. Not in my wildest imaginings could I have imagined that, one year on, IDF reservists would be dying daily in a doomed ground invasion of Gaza. Not in my wildest imaginings would I have imagined that while failing in Gaza, The Greatest Leader Since Moses would take on Hezbollah as well. Today Hezbollah delivered a drone to the PMs house in Caesarea. What’s that tell you about Israel’s technological advantage over it’s enemies? Wouldn’t you expect that Bibi’s place would be protected by the best-of-the-best air defence in the world? I’m sure it is. The terrorists just demonstrated, again, that they can defeat the best AD in the world. Bibi immediately goes on TV and professes outrage that Hezbollah would dare try assassinate him. They obviously weren’t - they were just sending a message - that they could if they wanted to. They just figure the time isn’t right. Let Netanyahu dig the country into an even deeper hole for a few more months, and by then a majority of Israelis will cheer the assassination of Netanyahu. That could be the beginning of peace in the Middle East.

Breakfast in Killarney

We took a Thanksgiving break and toured up to Killarney for the weekend. Last time I was there was about 25 years ago, when I took my kids camping at the nearby Killarney Provincial Park. It’s fair to say Killarney is a bit off the beaten path. It’s a good 75 kilometers off the main highway between Toronto and Sudbury. In fact, from Toronto, it’s actually further away than Sudbury itself. But if you want to spend some time in a quiet, out-of-the-way coastal community, it’s well worth it. Mind you, it’s probably not all that quiet during peak tourist season. I don’t recall the Killarney Mountain Lodge being there 25 years ago. That looks like a first-class joint. You can dock your yacht at one of their many berths, or have your float plane hauled out of the water onto a convenient concrete pad, right handy to their water-front $1,400/night Douglas fir cabins. Alas, they don’t take dogs, and we don’t go anywhere without Big-lips Bruno, so we ended up at the Sportsman’s Inn a ten minute walk away. I suspect most tourists without yachts or float planes find themselves at the Sportsman’s. We got into town late Saturday afternoon, and immediately met Phil and Brett. That’s because they stood chatting in the middle of the street in front of the Killarney General Store. When our car approached, they didn’t stop chatting, nor did they move out of the way. I stop and roll down the window. They keep chatting. Finally one of them turns to my open window. “Are you lost?” I immediately thought maybe they’re doing an anti-tourist protest, like they have in Naples and Barcelona these days. “Not lost, just wondering why you guys are standing in the middle of the road. Are you collecting money or something? Is there a toll?” Turns out there was no protest and no toll. Just two guys standing in the middle of the road having a chat. Phil grew up in Killarney but now lives in Manitoba. Came home for the weekend to visit his childhood pal Brett, who has lived in Killarney all his life. Killarney was established early in the 19th century by a guy who had his fur-trading post nearby burn down. We’re way back in pre-Confederation history here, when trading posts were a thing. It was strictly a water-access community for the first 140 years of its life. There was no road to Killarney until the 1960s. But there were people. There was a school. The teacher was dropped off in September and lived in a cabin next to the school. If the students needed education beyond grade eight, they took the same boat that brought in the teacher back to Owen Sound, where they spent the entire school year. There was also a commercial fishing industry in the latter half of the 19th century, which was decimated along with all great lakes fisheries when the sea lamprey showed up in the early 20th century. Today the main industry is tourism. There’s not enough locals to staff the resorts, so they’re brimming with young people from a variety of countries who come as temp workers. Gives the place a bit of a cosmopolitan flavour. On Sunday morning we had a fabulous breakfast at the Gateway Bakery & Restaurant. Right on the water, with window views of the multiple marinas that line the shore. After breakfast I’m sitting outside in the sun with Bruno, while the Farm Manager is picking out a Killarney souvenir hoodie in the gift shop, when who do I see heading my way? It’s Steve, who I vaguely know from the Owen Sound dog park. Turns out he’s got a place in Killarney. Why would you have a place in Killarney when you live in Owen Sound? There’s no shortage of water or waterfront, after all. Steve invited us to his place for the afternoon. Bruno and Rosie had only ever met at the dog park, and both were mystified and delighted by this unexpected rendezvous in Killarney. Steve and his wife Brenda have been coming to Killarney since the 1960s, first got a place there in the ‘80s, and have been making the nine hour round trip ever since. I asked him, what’s the draw? “It’s got community like no place else. You can’t open your toolbox in the driveway without somebody stopping to ask if they can help.” Steve’s got a 24 foot Sea Ray. Does he do any fishing? “No. I get so much free fish from the locals there’s no point.” That’s quite something, considering fishing is what originally brought him up here. That’s Killarney. Come for the fishing. Stay for the community.

Where to shit when you're homeless

There's a lot of focus on the shitting habits of homeless folks these days. Check out here and here. That's about San Francisco. There's some really good reasons why the homeless are homeless in San Fran. Sure, mental illness and addiction take their toll, but what about that winner-take-all hyper-capitalist culture that causes so much of the stress that causes the addiction and the mental illness in the first place? So here's a thought. Instead of shitting in the streets, why don't the homeless pitch their tents and void their bowels on the lawns of the tech millionaires and billionaires? Same goes in other parts of the country. Anybody homeless in the Northeast should head for Connecticut, and the miles of verdant lawns surrounding the estates of all those top-drawer hedgies domiciled there. If you're homeless a little further south on the eastern seaboard, setting up camp and a field toilet at a Trump golf resort would be a great idea! Not only would taking a crap on a fairway at Bedminster be far more aesthetically rewarding than taking a dump in the street, shitting in THEIR back yard would allow the plutocrats to become better acquainted with the fruits of their labour.

Uncle Sam's got Fluffy by the balls

Justin Trudeau is a lame duck PM. Trailing the charmless weasel Pierre Poilievre by 20 points in the latest polls. Facing down an uprising among his own caucus. Why doesn’t he just go away? While Justin didn’t inherit his dear daddy’s charisma, brains, or political savvy, he did get a generous dollop of the famous Trudeau arrogance. That’s what keeps him from making the smart decision, both for himself and the country. In late 2023, in response to a steady stream of leaks out of CSIS about election interference by China (remember those Chinese police stations in major Canadian cities!), he struck the Foreign Interference Commission to get to the bottom of things, or at least make it look like he cared. Meanwhile, our esteemed ally the USA, has developed a major hate for India, the world’s most populous democracy. Why? Because when Uncle Sam told the Free World to sanction Russia to death in February 2022, India’s PM Modi blew him off. Modi needs to be taught a lesson. So right in the middle of those foreign interference hearings, which were going nowhere fast, our US allies leaked some nasty intel to CSIS about how Modi’s agents were deep into harassing and murdering Canadians! The “Canadians” they were harassing and murdering were the militant Sikh separatists who murdered PM Indira Ghandi and blew up that Air India flight back in 1985. India understandably labels them terrorists. Overnight, the inquiry into Chinese election interference became all about India! In the big picture, Sikhs are less than two percent of India’s population, so not a serious threat to Modi. But in Canada they represent a good chunk of our ethnic vote, enough that our politicians find it worthwhile to pander to them. Canada is home to the largest Sikh population outside India. There are ten times as many Sikhs in Canada than the US. The DC brain-trust figured they can use Canada to antagonize India… and here we are! Canada has for years been routinely cast as a NATO free rider for not meeting our military spending obligations. Desperate to curry favour in Washington, Justin saw turning on India as his least bad option. Hell of a jam to be in, but totally predictable when you refuse to pursue an independent foreign policy and instead commit to vassalage to Washington.

Facts prove USA is smartest country in the world!

As we all know, the very pinnacle of academic achievement is the Ph. D., or the “Doctor Phil” as it is known in the UK. Bearing in mind the maxim of the famous Prussian war theorist Carl von Clausewitz that war is just the continuation of politics by other means, I got to thinking, it’s not necessarily the side with the most guns and bombs that will win, unless they also have the most brain-power. After doing a little google research, I am pleased to report that the good-guys in the coming war, America and her NATO allies, have way more brain-power than the current axis of evil. On the list of Ph. Ds graduated by country, USA is first, with five NATO allies ranking in the top ten. Russia comes in at 14th, and Putin’s partners in the Axis of Evil don’t even make the list! That looks like a slam-dunk to me! A no-brainer! Suck on that, Putin! But hold the victory parade. After all, we in the civilized world have a lot of highly educated folks who’s education may not bring much to the game once politics continues by other means. Maybe we should use a different metric… how about global distribution of STEM degrees, on the off-chance that science, technology, engineering, and math might be more relevant than a PhD in sociology or political science. Whoa! Check out that chart! China may lag in producing social scientists discovering new genders, but holy heck, China alone has almost four times as many STEM grads as the USA! Toss Russia and Iran into the mix and the Axis of Evil has a five-fold advantage over the Nations of Virtue! Maybe we should think twice about rushing into a war with them.

Artificial Intelligence is dumber than you are

Why not try a hands-free search and use your voice to chat with our AI bot! That’s a prompt that’s been coming up as I’m logging into my laptop. I have yet to have that chat, as I have zero desire to converse with an AI chatbot. I do dozens of searches every day, and dumb non-AI platforms are perfectly adequate for my needs. Besides, I’d feel like a complete dorkshit sitting here talking to my computer. If you have to have a conversation, that’s what people are for, not chatbots. Then there’s the matter of the extravagant energy consumption of Artificial Intelligence applications. A simple question, such as “how did Canada vote at the UN today?” can use 30 times the energy as your standard non-AI search. And the non-AI search will be more reliable because it’s not smart enough to make stuff up. If you think 30 times next to nothing is still nothing, you’d be wrong. All the big players are trying to find long term deals for cheap electricity. Alberta is offering cheap energy and tax breaks specifically to lure the industry to that province. This is a massive increase on the demand side, at the same time as we’re hoping to transition to electric vehicles. We have nowhere near the generating capacity or the grid to make either one of those dreams into reality, let alone both at the same time! In my view, reducing carbon emissions is a greater good than talking to chatbots.

A hundred pictures of Jesus and a stash of gay porn

A hundred pictures of Jesus and a stash of gay porn; Grampa's secrets revealed. Grampa Bernie was a big deal at the Knights of Columbus. He was such a devoted catholic he must have had at least a hundred pictures of Jesus hanging from every wall in every room of that downtown two-storey red brick he and his wife had bought new back in the... thirties? Forties? The dude's been dead for 30 years, so where-ever he reads this blog I'm sure he's having a good laugh.We're loading up my truck with basement detritus when one of the cousins comes out with a stack of magazines. "I didn't know they had naked wrestling in the Olympics."I took a look.Whoa! They might call it wrestling, honey, but that ain't the Olympics...I've never been much of a porn consumer, gay or otherwise, but I'm guessing nude wrestling magazines from the 40's and 50's would attract a decent dollar in the collector market. Way more than the old Time and Life magazines.Crazy how you can walk through the remnants of an up-standing citizen's life when they're gone and discover that they were way more than you thought. Bernie was indeed a respected and upstanding citizen. He was also a gay porn aficionado. And somebody in that house had a very healthy appetite for pills and booze...But enough about that.Bernie comes alive in that nursing home. In fact, it took mere weeks to find a new love! That revelation was initially received with good humour by the extended family. "Oh how lovely that he has some companionship in his twilight years" and all that sort of thing.Then he bought the bitch a thousand dollar fur coat!..WELL HOLY THUNDERIN' JEEZUS IF THAT WASN'T THE END OF THE WORLD!!!She was obviously a tramp and a gold-digger and by God if this was gonna be the way he carries on there would not be a red cent left over for anybody when the old coot kicked the bucket!Unfortunately the last months of Grampa Bernie's life were consumed with frantic family desperately running interference between him and the gold-digger.He dropped dead half way through a Leafs game on CBC one Saturday night.As many of us wish we could when the Leafs are playing on Saturday night.I suppose you could say his dreams came true!In spite of the machinations of his heirs, the new gal got to keep the coat.

The solidarity among living things

The main thing I saw today was many thousands of sandhill cranes heading south. They came by in batches of several dozen at a time. The hummingbirds have departed as of a week or two ago. We’ve still got the buzzards hanging around, at least some of them. They’re like the geese; some migrate and some don’t. I suspect that as the climate continues to warm up, the population of migratory birds will diminish. After all, why fly two or four or six thousand miles each way if you don’t have to? Here’s another thing I saw - a fly crawling into my Mott’s Caesar. Then again, I’m not sure if I actually “saw” it, or just thought I saw it. Once you’ve had a couple Caesars and a toke, it’s hard to tell. I did a visual inspection and then took a cautious sip, and concluded there was in fact no fly in my drink. So imagine my surprise when, a half hour later, a thoroughly Caesar-soaked fly crawled out of the can! I helped it along a little; after all, it’s a living thing and, insofar as possible, it’s my duty as a fellow living thing to do what I can to facilitate its living longer. Last I saw, it was test-buzzing its wings in preparation to fly again. Solidarity of living things!

Mysteries of the "deep state"

As you know, the folks who run America’s democracy theatre have a big event coming up in a few weeks; the election. You know the main characters; in the red corner, the Black Hat, Donald J Trump. And in the blue corner, the White Hat, Kamala. Due to the limited intelligence of the average American voter, the script-writers like to keep things simple enough that your typical WWE enthusiast can follow the action. Polls tell us the race is too close to call. In order to shake things up, the brain trust running the White Hat’s campaign sent her out on a media blitz recently. I’ve seen the Opra interview, the 60 Minutes interview, and her appearances on Colbert and The View. Sending Kamala out to meet the people has been, in my opinion, a tragic mistake. The woman has exposed herself as a complete airhead. “So what will be your policy priorities, Kamala?” “Well… before I address that, I just want to say how much I love the American people. I grew up in a middle class home, and you know, ambition and work ethic! I love the American people because we have dreams… we have aspirations… we work hard… we have dreams…” Other than that, and badmouthing Trump, she ain’t got nuthin! Meanwhile, what’s the Black Hat up to? As we know, Trump is a bad guy who can’t wait to end democracy in America. What do you expect from a Putin fanboy? And he’s ready to stab Ukraine in the back! Who can even imagine such an outrage? Ukraine, the plucky little country fighting Putin so democracy can survive, not just in Ukraine, but all over the world! And Trump wants to pull the plug on our support for this bravest of all democratic nations! And let’s not forget that Trump’s number one backer is the odious Elon Musk, the world’s richest man! The man who bought liberal, freedom-loving Twitter, and turned it into a hate-spewing fascist propaganda organ! There you have the broad outlines of the narrative, the plot, so to speak, for the Big Show. Now let me step back for a moment and play theatre critic. Aside from being the world’s richest man, and an enthusiastic promoter of far-right conspiracy theories, who is Elon Musk? Why, he’s the beneficiary of $hundreds of billions in financial support from the US government for his various deep-state-adjacent enterprises. Like Space-X. If you suspect NASA was privatized and Elon ended up with it, you wouldn’t be wrong. Which brings me to the Atlantic Council. That’s the “intellectual” think-tank arm of NATO. It is funded by the US government and a gaggle of defence contractors. It is 100% committed to the doctrine of American exceptionalism and is a “deep state” creature through and through. Every year, on the occasion of the UNGA shindig in NYC, the Atlantic Council celebrates a few world leaders for their service to Empire by bestowing upon them the “Global Citizen Award.” This year, one of the recipients of the Global Citizen Award was PM of Italy, Georgia Meloni. If you recall, when she was elected, the mainstream media couldn’t give you enough scare stories about how she was the reincarnation of Mussolini! Pro-Putin and anti-American! Fortunately, on winning the election, she came to her senses and soon embraced the urgency of standing with Ukraine for as long as it takes. And who presented her the award? None other than that anti-establishment rebel, Elon Musk! Yup, the same guy bankrolling Donald Trump, the anti-establishment once-and-future swamp-drainer! Wow! Well, clearly this two-horse race could go either way. Luckily for freedom, democracy, and human rights, these two diametrically opposed candidates can agree on one crucial thing; they both 100% support Israel, no matter what.

US-NATO betrayal of Ukraine will bring serious blowback

Zelensky has unveiled his secret "Victory Plan." Here it is folks… drum roll please! Lot’s more billions and lots more weapons and also a few hundred thousand volunteers, ‘cause he’s pretty much out of Ukrainians. We’ve been hearing this tune for two and a half years. Victory is always just beyond reach. With a few more months and a few more billions, victory is assured! Rinse & repeat. Unfortunately for Zelly, his pleas to his handlers in DC will fall on deaf ears. The entire Washington establishment has written off the Ukraine gambit now that the Holy Land is in play. They won’t come right out and say so, but everybody sees what’s going on. Zelly has joined the ranks of those the esteemed war criminal Henry Kissinger was talking about when he candidly opined that being America’s enemy was dangerous, but being America’s friend was deadly. Noriega. Saddam. Kaddafi. Shame about those half million dead Ukrainians and their destroyed country. But we gave you two and a half years and you blew it. We got bigger fish to fry, and Iran is a big fish! I have a hunch there’ll be blowback over the betrayal of Ukraine.

Indian Summer

Not sure if “Indian summer” is a phrase you’re still allowed in the age of Woke. Regardless, we had the perfect Indian summer Saturday in these parts today. Sunshine all day and T-shirt and shorts temperatures. First weekend in October means it’s Pumpkinfest in Port Elgin. That’s only a hop and a skip from Falling Downs, plus we get to stop off at Tuggies on the Rez for cheap gas and cheap smokes. The Pumpkinfest is allegedly about the giant vegetables that arrive at what was originally the Port Elgin fall fair. Fall fairs are a big deal in rural Ontario. Every two-bit hick-town has one. Even former two-bit hick-towns that have long since become suburbs of Toronto still have them. I’m looking at you, Orangeville and Shelburne. But I digress. We don’t go to Port Elgin for the two-ton pumpkins. We go for the car show. It comes two or three weeks after the Concours at Cobble Beach. That one is ten minutes down the road, and we’ve been a few times. Fifty bucks to get in the gate. A lot of world-class stuff that arrived in hundred thousand dollar trailers with quarter million tow vehicles. Who doesn’t want to spend fifty bucks to see an actual original Bugatti? The Pumpkinfest car show, on the other hand, is all stuff the owners drove there. The town blocks off a few blocks of the downtown for a day. You won’t see any Bugattis, but you’ve got the entire catalogue of North American iron, plus a good sampling of European stuff. And it’s absolutely free! So we wander around downtown Port Elgin for an hour and a half, with Bruno in tow. You can’t imagine how many people want to stop and tell you how beautiful this runt Italian mastiff is. It’s non stop. When Bruno had his fill of strangers wanting to touch him, we motored down the Lake Huron shore to Kincardine, for lunch at the Erie Belle, where they promote themselves as the “House of Fish & Chips.” I was a fan long before the gluten thing reared its ugly head, and I am happy to report the Erie Belle has gluten-free fish & chips that will rival anything you ever had. We’re on the patio with Bruno catching the shade under the table, when a gaggle of millennials comes in and settles into the far end of the patio. There’s eight of them, and they’re engaged in a quite lively conversation. This has no bearing on us whatsoever. We’re at least forty feet away. But about ten minutes in, the Farm Manager remarks that none of them appear to have their phones out. What? How is such a thing even conceivable? I was seated with my back to them, but as we were leaving I went over to check them out. I thought at least a few might have their phones flat on the table in front of them, but no! Who can imagine such a thing?! Eight millennials gathered round a table on a restaurant patio, and not a phone in sight? There is hope for humanity!

The American Empire circles the drain... make America great again!

America is the exceptional nation. The indispensable nation. The country destined to lead the world, as both Kamala and Donald will tell you. Not that they’re telling you. You probably don’t give a shit if America “leads the world,” as long as you’ve got a job that pays your bills and gives you a half-decent life. No, they’re not talking to you. They’re talking to their billionaire donors. Those are the people who matter, and it matters to them that America remains the Big Dog. A lot of the things that matter to you - affordable housing, health care, education and groceries, simply aren’t a problem for the rich. But it matters to them that their wealth remains secure. That’s why America’s cred has always hinged, at the end of the day, on the US military. When push comes to shove, the Empire is the Empire because it can muscle any and all rivals out of the way. While that’s been a dubious proposition since at least the fall of Saigon, recent events make that proposition ever more dubious. The fall of Kabul was Saigon 2.0 - just with different Asians falling to their deaths. We’re well on our way to the final curtain for the Empire. In 2014 America engineered the overthrow of the democratically elected government in Ukraine, paving the way for a regime of ultra-nationalist Russophobes eager to curry favour in Washington by antagonizing Russia. And curry favour they did! We goaded Zelensky into a hot war with Russia with the promise of NATO membership and the solid guarantee that we would provide whatever it takes for as long as it takes to crush Putin. Meanwhile, America has given Israel a blank cheque to bully any and all possible rivals since at least the Six Day War. The Israelis are even more in thrall to their exceptionalism than the Americans, as frightening as that may be to contemplate. The decades of indulgence have brought us to the current abyss. Between the hundreds of billions in cash and weapons, and the ever-ready veto at the UN, the ruling clique in Israel is convinced it is above all laws and completely unaccountable, not even to its enablers in Washington. Furthermore, they have now painted themselves into a corner and assume Uncle Sam is coming to the rescue. From the bipartisan noises coming from DC, it looks like America will stand with Israel with whatever it takes, for as long as it takes. The good news is this. Once the American Empire has collapsed, it will be possible to make America great again for ordinary Americans who couldn’t care less about leading the world, but just want a job that provides a decent life.

America's democracy theatre; the show must go on!

I watched the first half hour of the Walz-Vance debate before succumbing to terminal ennui. I thought both VPs have more going on than their respective presidents, but who cares? What does it matter? The first topic was, given the events of the day, America’s loyalty to Israel. Both candidates promised unquestioned fealty. More “whatever it takes for as long as it takes.” Where have we heard that before? And how’s that going? The CBS moderators and both candidates celebrated the joint USA/IDF defeat of the dastardly Iranian missile attack. In fact, that was the only story you heard on mainstream media. Meanwhile, the internet was abuzz with video of Iranian missiles exploding on Israeli air bases. I said at least ten years ago Iron Dome was bullshit. There is no “missile shield.” The next topic was the devastating hurricane in the southeast. The VPs went back and forth on that one. They bickered about climate change and greenhouse gasses and fracking. Nobody mentioned the bipartisan neglect of infrastructure over the last half century. Of course they didn’t! That would cost money to fix! Money we need to support our many wars. Do you want the next billion in deficit spending to build public housing, or to finance Israel’s wars? The bipartisan consensus is a no-brainer. That’s why there’s a housing crisis in America, but Israel has unlimited 2,000 lb. ‘bunker-busters’ to preserve peace and democracy in the Middle East. Great to see the VP debate unify a divided country! We have bipartisan agreement that the interests of the genocidal psychopaths steering the ship of state in Israel take priority over the interests of the American people! Democracy rocks!

Doug Ford and the politics of wishful thinking

There’s a half-page advert on p. 3 of Saturday’s Globe. The picture shows a clearly delighted Ontario dad plugging in his EV while his young son watches in awe. The text reads; Powering economic growth through clean, affordable nuclear energy. Ontario’s new small modular reactors are creating jobs and will contribute billions to the economy, while providing clean and affordable energy. It’s all happening here. Paid for by the Government of Ontario. This is a project at Darlington that’s been featured in numerous advertisements and press releases for several years now, so I was curious how close that father and son might actually be to plugging into that clean and affordable energy. Turns out not that close. Here’s some good news from a few months ago; First phase of site preparation completed. That only took two years. We’re now heading into the “main” phase of site preparation, which will include excavation and “shoring walls.” In other words, the only jobs created thus far have gone to a handful of heavy equipment operators and the copywriters at Doug’s ad agency! According to Doug’s spin doctors, this revolutionary project will make Ontario a world leader in small modular reactors. Maybe it will, but according to Wikipedia, Russia and China are the only countries that have successfully built SMRs. To my way of thinking, that makes them the world leaders. Here’s a Bloomberg interview with Professor of nuclear engineering Kirk Atkinson at Ontario Tech University. I daresay the interviewer sounds a tad skeptical. In the event everything pans out, we may eventually have a SMR that could power 300,000 homes - or one Google data centre! Given the history of nuclear construction cost over-runs and missed deadlines, the awestruck kid in that ad will be plugging in his own EV by the time that happens. And have you heard about the 70km tunnel under the 401?...

Koreans promise to stop eating your pets

South Korea has been under US occupation for over 70 years, so I’m surprised that more American values haven’t rubbed off on them. They do well with the boy bands, and it’s hard to believe the country that gave us Gangnam Style still engages in such barbarity, but they eat dogs in Korea. That’s right! It’s not just Haitians hunting your pets! Thankfully, this horror is coming to an end. No doubt spurred on by Trump’s vile insinuations re the Haitian guest-workers in Springfield Ohio, the government of SK is taking steps to outlaw dog farming. Yup, apparently dog farming is a thing in our democratic ally South Korea! Or it was. The government is promising an end to dog farming by 2027. Luckily, the dog farmers are to be compensated to the tune of $450USD per animal. Believe it or not, the dog farmers think that isn’t enough! Really? I guess it depends on the dog, but I find it hard to believe even a big boy like our Italian mastiff would yield that much in dog-steaks and dog-chops. Just goes to prove yet again protein is where you find it. One man’s Lassie is another man’s sausage on a bun.

Greatest Leader Since Moses elects to go down gambling

In choosing to escalate against Hezbollah, Bibi is making a double bet. In the first place, he is betting that America will jump in and save his ass when he embarks on a war Israel cannot win. Retired IDF generals have been for years regaling us with exposes on how many hundreds of thousands of missiles the baddies have squirreled away in the hills and valleys of Lebanon. Enough to fire a thousand a day for months on end. Iron Dome will be exhausted by noon on day one. Then what? In Bibi’s fevered imagination, then Uncle Sam swoops in to make it all good. How could he not? The applause from those 58 standing ovations is still ringing in his ears. He’s probably right. After all, Biden-Harris, Trump, and RFK Jr are each and every one 100% in the tank for Israel, World Court be damned. Genocide? What genocide? You’d have to go down ballot all the way to Jill Stein before you find a candidate averse to enabling Israel’s genocide in Gaza. She’s polling under 2% as I write this. So it’s entirely plausible that Bibi’s gambit in luring the US into the war will pay off. But here’s the thing. The greatest fighting force in the history of history don’t got the mojo no more. Uncle Sam waves a big stick and talks a big game, but those Afghans falling off the last USAF flights out of Kabul tell a different story. Netanyahu, just like Zelensky, is betting on the support of a military empire that is a pathetic shadow of its former self. This new Lebanon front is going to become a war of attrition. Think about it. Israel is in a war of attrition with a people who have been accustomed to periodically living in caves just to survive the latest onslaught. How many Israelis in Haifa or Tel Aviv are gonna live in caves for more than two weeks before they seek refuge in Berlin or New York or Toronto? Bibi’s run is just about done. He will go down in history not as the greatest leader since Moses, but as the man who destroyed Israel.

Art critic destroys million dollar masterpiece

And I don’t mean he “destroyed” it metaphorically in a thumbs-down review. No, he literally smashed it into a thousand shards right there on the floor of the gallery! The piece was a porcelain sculpture celebrating, you guessed it, the great Ai Weiwei himself! Apparently he’s trying to figure out who he is after all these years. I’ve always been skeptical about Ai Weiwei and his greatness. When you listen to his interviews, he’s more likely to be mistaken for Chance the gardener than Confucius. He tipped his hand with that bullshit “Straight” exhibition around 2013. He and his team salvaged 90 or 120 or 150 tons of rebar from collapsed school buildings after an earthquake in China, chipped off the concrete, straightened them, and voila!.. a profound statement about… I was never sure what. Earthquakes? Building codes? I don’t know much about art, but I’m fairly knowledgeable about rebar. One thing I know for sure is salvaged rebar from a collapsed building is never ever gonna be straightened. Oh, you might get it straight enough to reuse it again, as rebar. But not as an art exhibit! Ever! Yet, that art exhibit travelled the world. Clearly, they ordered a fresh batch of rebar in every city they landed in! Nobody shleps 50 tons of rebar around the world for the sake of art! He followed that up with the ultra-cringe Alan Kurdi artwork, wherein he pretended to be a drowned refugee toddler. Because how would the world ever know there was a refugee crisis if the great Ai Weiwei didn’t attach his name to it? I gotta tip my cap to that Italian art critic. Enough with Ai Weiwei already.

Most retarded story in the Globe & Mail today

The Korean extortionist at the Circle K just bumped the price for the Saturday edition to $9.45. Back in the day I had that paper delivered to the door every morning, and a week later the paper-boy would come round to collect a buck and a half… or maybe that was for two weeks. Have you noticed that although they keep ramping the price, the news doesn’t get any better? Nor does the journalism. I suppose it would be smart to bypass the Korean altogether, since I have the digital subscription, but once a week we like to go for a leisurely breakfast at the European Bakery, with the newspaper spread out on the table in front of us. How decadent! How 1965! In good weather, we’ll do this on the dog-friendly patio with Bruno at our feet. So there we are, and on page 8 of the opinion section, I find this headline; “Authoritarianism is a military weakness.” We are told the writer is an “author and professor,” which I suppose imbues her insights with somewhat more cred than I get, having styled myself the “pot-addled hillbilly.” So here’s the gist of Professor Elyse Graham’s argument. Democracies are inherently stronger military powers because of their openness to diverse ideas and diverse people. We know this because Democracy defeated Authoritarianism 80 years ago. Sorry to break it to you professor, but during the WWII, the US Army was racially segregated, gays were drummed out of our militaries with dishonorable discharges or worse, tens of thousands of Japanese had their farms, houses, and businesses stolen by our diversity-loving governments, and both USA and Canada turned away the MS St. Louis, a refugee ship carrying 900 Jews fleeing Hitler. Such was our diversity and tolerance. Furthermore, nine out of ten German soldiers who died in that war died on the Eastern front. The war was won not by Democracies in the West, but by the Soviet Red Army, led by one of the most ruthless authoritarians of all time, Joseph Stalin. But 80 years on, our national newspaper of record sees fit to publish such ahistorical nonsense?

Why do cement-truck drivers make twice the hourly wage of school-bus drivers?

Once again, September brings a school-bus crisis. There's just not enough folks willing to take the job. I know I’ve ploughed this ground before, but here’s all it would take to end this never-ending crisis. Pay drivers properly and treat them with a modicum of respect. What is “proper pay?” I say the hourly wage of a school bus driver should be equal to the hourly wage of a cement-truck driver, plus at least one symbolic dollar-per-hour more to acknowledge that a cargo of children is more important than a cargo of cement. Secondly, the cement-truck driver only has to supervise the cement. The school-bus driver has to supervise 40 or more children, who could range in age from two to twenty, all while he/she is driving the bus! That is just wrong! Once those kids are off the bus and on school property, the school boards and the teachers’ unions dictate that every student be under the supervision of a trained professional at all times. Being under the supervision of the bus-driver doesn’t cut it, by my estimation. They’re already doing their job; driving the bus. If you’re asking them to do two jobs for the price of one… well, maybe you’ll have a school-bus driver shortage! Expecting one and the same person to do two jobs simultaneously for a wage they can make at McDonalds guarantees you’ll have a school-bus driver shortage. That's why every school bus needs to have a second adult aboard to supervise the children while the driver focuses on their job; driving the bus.

Picking the winner in the coming WW III

Remember the original “Axis of Evil?” The term was allegedly coined by part-time Bush Jr speech-writer David Frum, the son of a Toronto dentist who made it big in strip-malls. Just to be clear, it was Dad who made the family fortune, not David. But a little education and some stiff financial backing and family connections can take a budding ideologue a long way, and David is now on staff at The Atlantic. The original Axis of Evil formulation was Iran, Iraq, and North Korea. That was in 2002. The new and improved Axis of Evil consists of Iran, Russia, and China. The White Hat lineup hasn’t really changed. It’s the world’s leading democracy with the most powerful military of all time, plus NATO, and, last but not least, the only democracy in the Middle East, Israel. You’ve got the democracies on the one side, and brutal dictators, tyrants, and terrorists on the other. Democracies are countries where billionaire political donors get together periodically to select the next leader of the free world. The Good Guys, ie the Democracies, are currently engaged in two wars against evildoers that threaten to spin out of control. While they do have billionaires in the Axis of Evil, there is a crucial difference. In the Free World the billionaires are free to call the shots. In the Autocratic Tyrannies, the billionaires operate at the pleasure of the state. That’s why we need to have a war; to free those free-market champions in Iran and Russia and China from the yoke of tyranny! The wars that the Axis of Evil have forced on the Free World by resisting NATO expansion and Israeli genocide are both one escalation from going ballistic, pardon the pun. When those escalations occur, what’s likely to happen? Unfortunately for the Free World, things aren’t looking good. Ukraine hangs by a thread, completely dependent on financial and materiel support the Free World doesn’t have. In Israel, the only Democracy in the Middle East continues to clear terrorists out of Gaza neighborhoods they’ve cleared multiple times already in a war that’s gone on for almost a year. Clearly, the Forces of Righteousness are not winning. Yesterday’s vote at the UN General Assembly provides a handy barometer of which way global sentiment is tilting in this struggle between good and evil. 143 countries voted against the American Empire’s preferred outcome. 14 voted for it. That’s why this story at the Globe and Mail caught my eye; Deepen US ties and reboot Canada's geopolitical strategy, former ambassadors urge. Yup, five former Canadian ambassadors to the US, American Empire Loyalists to the core, insist we double down on a lost cause. Tragically for Canada, we are on course to follow their idiotic counsel. Let’s commit trillions of dollars and the financial health of our country for generations to come by buying submarines and fighter jets and warships so we can stand tall on the wrong side of history. Or, we could become a sovereign nation, chart our own course, and invest in the health care and housing and education infrastructure we so desperately need.

Canada's betrayal of Israel

There’s an op-ed on view at the Jerusalem Post today titled "Canada's betrayal of Israel; irresponsible and shameful." Elsewhere at the Jpost you can find an expose on how the reliably anti-Arab BBC is in fact virulently antisemitic, and another on how Australia has “lost its moral compass.” Canada, Australia, and UK are just three of the 43 countries to abstain from the vote at the UN General Assembly today urging Israel to comply with international law and shut down the settlement project. Most of those 43 countries are traditionally pro-Israel. So what up with this tidal wave of antisemitism sweeping over Israel’s former allies? Could it be that true friends don’t let friends do genocide? No, that’s far too generous for the abstaining nations. Most of them do absolutely nothing to prevent or even slow down Israel’s murderous rampage in Gaza and the West Bank. These 43 abstainers are the cowardly nations. Vaguely disturbed by their complicity in an ongoing genocide, they feign umbrage while doing nothing of consequence. Like halting shipments of military supplies. Like sanctioning trade with the genociders. Like severing diplomatic ties. Nope! We’ll just abstain on this vote while continuing business as usual! That’s not a betrayal of Israel. It’s a betrayal of our claimed humanitarian values.

Countdown to Armegeddon

I spent much of last week installing a storm door that was advertised as “a two-hour oops-proof installation.” Today I was able to catch up on some news, and I gotta say, things are really going downhill fast. Some time ago I posited that Netanyahu and Zelensky would bring down the American Empire. Both of them, mesmerized by the adulation showered upon them on their appearances in Washington, are convinced that Uncle Sam will rescue them from their increasingly precarious calamities. After the much-lauded (in Western media) PR stunt in Kursk, that disaster is now biting Zelly’s ass. It’s become increasingly clear that Ukraine is losing this war, big-time. Meanwhile, two thousand miles south in the Holy Land, the Greatest Leader Since Moses appears to have bitten off quite a lot more than the IDF can chew. We’re closing in on one year of combat in Gaza. This is by far the longest war in the history of Israel, and Israel is not winning. There you’ve got two leaders on the wrong side of history, both of whom are convinced that, if they can just somehow bring America directly into their wars, they can come out on the right side of history. Ain’t gonna happen. And that realization will signal the end of the Empire.

Chrystia Freeland pours gasoline on housing crisis

Ukraine’s top lobbyist in Canada, who moonlights as our country’s finance minister and deputy PM in her spare time, today unveiled a strategy to open the housing market to, in her words, “hundreds of thousands and possibly millions of Canadians.” The “strategy” consists of greater access to 30 year mortgages, and a 50% hike in the upper limit on mortgage insurance, to $1.5 million. I suppose this is great news for someone seeking a 30 year mortgage on a two million dollar home, but my hunch is that those folks are already adequately housed. When you go a few blocks down market, this “strategy” gooses the demand side. There’s now more potential buyers for that starter home. What happens when demand outstrips supply? Prices go up! This “strategy” will hurt the very people it is intended to help! Where the housing market needs government intervention is on the supply side. From the end of the WWII into the 1990s the government had a variety of programs that subsidized the supply side. They worked. Between them, all levels of government have access to more than enough land. They control the approval process. What’s holding them back from putting up affordable and decent public housing? Surely, it can’t be money. After all, we’ve found $20 billions for Ukraine in the past two years. We’ve committed hundreds of billions to increased military spending, from fighter jets to frigates. Meanwhile, we can’t afford to spend money on affordable housing for Canadians. Don’t you think our priorities are seriously askew?

One man's pet is another man's lunch

Just for fun, I googled “countries where cat meat is considered table food.” Here’s what came up from Wikipedia; China. Japan. India. Indonesia. South Korea. Malaysia, Taiwan. Viet Nam. That’s eight countries that account for at least half the world’s population. And seven out of the eight of them are considered our allies! And if that’s not enough, consider horses. The Lone Ranger would be aghast if he found out Silver ended up in the buffet at a Michelin-starred diner in Provence. And the French consider themselves the most civilized people in the world! Just ask them! So I don’t really get the commotion over Trump’s comments on migrants eating local pets.

America's "Democracy Theatre" jumps the shark... it's Trump against the Queen of Joy

Here’s the main point to remember; America is the benchmark democracy that serves as the North star to democracies all over the civilized world. That’s why it’s important to follow the hijinks on the current electoral campaign. The way I see it, this campaign is premised on the primordial struggle between good and evil. On the one hand, the citizens can choose to root for the racist, misogynist, and quintessentially evil Orange Ogre. On the other, they can root for the Queen of Joy. It’s obviously the Queen of Joy who’s playing the good guy part in this presentation. Donny J knows the part he’s playing. After all, in his pre-politics years he was once a boxing promoter. To this day he’s besties with Dana White, Godfather and Don of Dons in the UFC universe. He used to pal around with the likes of Don King! America’s Theatre of Democracy demands a simple-minded contest between the white-hat and the black-hat. Don’t confuse the voters with nuance. Don’t even mention Jill Stein. So the brain trust running the white-hat campaign is currently pushing the “Trump claims migrants are eating your pets” narrative. Ha ha ha!!! What a friggin’ moron! Meanwhile, the other brain trust is pounding on the “Kamala is so phony she adjusts her accent for the venue” narrative. In Boston it’s “good evening ladies and gentlemen.'“ In Atlanta, it’s “how y’all doin’?” But take note; not in Boston or in Atlanta or anywhere else will the Queen of Joy come anywhere near any serious discussion of meaty topics, be they domestic or foreign. Ditto for the Bad Guy. In fact, it’s totally awesome that in the world’s benchmark democracy, there is virtual unanimity amongst the warring parties on anything that matters. They’re both all in for continuing America’s blank-cheque support for Israel’s genocide in Gaza. They’re both all-in for more drilling and fracking. They’re both all-in for American Hegemony in perpetuity. True, there’s a whisker of daylight on Ukraine policy. Kamala wants the slaughter to continue until there are no more Ukrainians, whereas Trump seems ready to turn the page on a lost cause, and save a few missiles and bombs for the commies in China for when we have to save democracy in Taiwan. We truly live in interesting times.

I've made a liar out of ad maestros who claim my new screen door installation was "oops proof"

Bought a new storm/screen door at Home Depot. A tad over six hundred bucks. Holy shit! I’ve bought used cars for less than that and got five years outta them! Mind you, that was a few decades ago… For six hundred bucks you get the Cadillac of storm doors. The Andersen 2000 series. You pull the top glass panel down and a bug screen rolls down from the top of the door! Right on the box it tells you it’s a two hour installation. Well! Not in my world! I figure I’m about twelve hours into this project. I’m taking tomorrow off, on account of the Cobble Beach Concours car show. Then, Sunday, I gotta undo most of what I did today. That’s because, while the door is hung, looking good, and basically functional, I can’t fit the key set and deadlock because of a very minor measurement error whilst drilling holes in my six hundred dollar door. That’s problematic right there; in my world, when you pay that kind of money for a screen door, it should be self-installing! Or at least the holes should be pre-drilled at the factory, rather than forcing an old fart with shaky hands and iffy eyesight to do the layout and measurement. Anyway, it’s provided a few days of distraction from this fucked-up world. That said, it’s also created a fresh problem. With that magic screen, the Farm Manager notices every time I slip out onto the stoop for a smoke.

Ukraine attempts to censor Toronto International Film Festival

Chrystia Freeland happens to be both Canada's Deputy Prime Minister and a top spokesperson for extremist Ukrainian nationalists. According to CBC, Canada’s leading Banderista has "grave concerns" over a Canadian film-maker’s doc about the Russia-Ukraine war. “Ukrainian officials" and Chrystia have their knickers in a twist over the fact that Canadian taxpayers financed not only the film, to the tune of $340 thou, but also fund the film festival. As a taxpayer, that pisses me off too. What pisses me off even more is that our government gives way more taxpayer money to Ukrainian cultural groups affiliated with the Ukrainian Canadian Congress. And while we’re on the subject of Ukrainian-Canadian bellyaching, check out this headline from the Ottawa Citizen; "Ukrainian group wants to prevent release of names of Nazi war criminals." That “Ukrainian group” is of course the UCC, itself a recipient of generous government funding, who now threaten to sue Ottawa to prevent the release of the full report of the Deschenes Commission. If you recall, that was an official enquiry into how many Nazi war criminals found safe harbour in Canada after the WW II. The Deschene Commission wrapped up forty years ago, but the list of actual names of Nazis who found refuge in Canada has been kept under wraps ever since. Somebody somehow has wielded enough shlep to keep those names hidden. For the UCC to threaten a lawsuit over this tells me there must be a lot of Ukrainian names on the list.

Canada sends toxic waste to Ukraine disguised as "military support"

It’s gotta be grating for Zelensky and company to feign gratitude for the latest “aid package” from Canada. As splashed all over Canadian media, at the joint meeting of NATO defense ministers in Mannheim this week, our guy Bill Blair was pleased to announce our latest contribution to Ukraine’s existential struggle to save the free world from Putin; 80,000 air-to-ground missiles! Wow! We’re really coming through on that “whatever it takes for as long as it takes” promise we’ve made over and over again since February 2022. I gather Blair would have been humiliated if Canada was the only Ukraine ally to show up in Mannheim without an announcement of new military support. Blair called Canadian Forces boss Jennie Carignan. “Jenn honey, what do we have in the cupboard for Zelensky? Anything left?” General Jennie, recently promoted to the top job after a CAF career on the HR side, had no clue, but promised she’d look into it. Couple weeks later Bill gets a call. “Hey Bill, the cupboard’s pretty much bare, but here’s a thought; we’ve got a warehouse full of obsolete missiles we pulled out of service twenty years ago. We’ve been planning to dispose of them, but it’s gonna cost a thousand a pop. There’s 80,000 of ‘em in that warehouse, Bill. Do the math.” “Holy Mother of God! Are you thinking what I’m thinking? I think we got us a twofer on our hands! We get some nice PR for our solid support for Zelly’s war, plus, we get rid of an $80 million disposal expense! Love you, doll!”

The greatest war crime of our time

Canada’s foreign policy is a mystery. Just today our punditocracy is agog at the affrontery of China’s ban on our free and democratic canola. They accuse China of retaliating against our free and democratic canola just because we imposed 100% tariffs on their authoritarian and possibly genocidal EV industry. Who really knows how much Uyghur slave labour is in those Chinese electric cars? It’s probably quite a bit. Canada would never rubber stamp a US anti-China policy just because we’re a US dependency, much like the Marshall Islands, but with a slightly more robust military. So in order to clarify what Canada’s actual foreign policy priorities might be, I thought I’d check out the official Global Affairs website. Here are the ten most recent “news bulletins” as of 9 o’clock this evening. From 21 August, something about the USA-Canada-Mexico trade deal. Mexico is threatening unreasonable stuff. Then there’s a fluff piece about FM Joly visits Africa, where Canada’s influence is now less than zero. After that we get a couple of stories about our commitment to Ukraine. Apparently our commitment to Ukraine is closing in on $20 billions, from a country that can’t afford to train its own nurses or doctors. On 25 August we get this jam tart; Diplomats for Equality Joint Statement, wherein we declare our solidarity with transgender youth in need of gender affirming care. Because that’s a global priority for equity and freedom and human rights. Then there’s a couple of house-keeping items re new diplomatic postings to a bunch of shithole countries in Latin America. Cuba and Nicaragua just don’t get democracy, so I don’t know why we bother. I guess it’s just because we really care about freedom and human rights. That’s followed by a couple of lame-ass stories about Mary Ng’s adventures in DC. Yes, that is the very same Mary Ng embroiled in a conflict of interest scandal a few years ago, but who cares about that when there’s bigger fish to fry! Finally, the most recent Global Affairs news bulletin as of this writing reminds us that China’s persecution of the Uyghur minority is a grave violation of human rights! There you have it; Canada’s foreign policy priorities as expressed in all Global Affairs news releases over the past two weeks. Not a whisper about the ongoing genocide in Gaza, the greatest war crime of our time.

Bibi loves Hamas

It is by now well established that Israel was fully aware of the attack planned for 7 October. Did the IDF take proactive measures to eliminate the threat before the attack was launched? No. It did the opposite, deliberately drawing down troops from the Gaza border. Why? Because Bibi saw his chance. His chance to once and for all time establish himself as the greatest leader since Moses. A giant in the five thousand year history of the Jewish people. The leader who finally rose up to destroy the children of Amalek once and for all. And so Hamas gifted him the opportunity to unleash the genocide. He seized the opportunity, with the full support of his allies in the human-rights-loving West. Look how they love him in Washington, global HQ of freedom, democracy, and human rights. Oh yes, there is the ongoing pantomime of opprobrium, of umbrage taken, of outrage at serial violations of every so-called rule of war, but the money and the bombs and the bullets and the vetoes at the UN keep on coming. This is America’s genocide as much as it is Israel’s.

Charlie's incredible and amazing outhouse fishing adventure

Charlie is my son-in-law. He was a little on the nerdy side, but he won us over with his work ethic and his obvious commitment to our daughter. Plus, he came from a long line of Finnish-Canadians. The Finns are famous for saunas, vodka, and their enthusiasm for hard work, which is why they had such an impact on the development of the Northern Ontario communities they migrated to. We were delighted with the arrival of our first grandchild, Lilah. We were doubly delighted to see baby Lilah being table-trained with one of those spoon-fork contraptions known as a “spork.” This particular spork had been in the family for generations; a family heirloom, if you will. A couple weeks ago Lilah’s parents took her on her first camping trip. A first camping adventure with a not-quite-toddler is bound to be hectic and stressful under the best of circumstances. Which it was. But then Charlie inadvertently cranked the stress dial into the stratosphere. After washing up the breakfast dishes on their last day, he, following Algonquin Park protocols, dumped the dishwater down the nearest outhouse. A half hour later, as they were packing up, the spork was nowhere to be found. After searching every nook of the tent and every cranny of the campsite, they came to the horrifying realization that the family heirloom had gone down the shitter. Literally. They did a cursory search of the subject latrine, to no avail. They contacted the park authorities to request that the contents of said latrine be sequestered, to permit a more thorough examination in the future. Request denied. They drove home in silent despair, especially Charlie. After all, it was he who bore responsibility for carelessly tossing that spork into the outhouse. Next day, Charlie stops at the local Princess Auto, picks up a 100lb magnet, 20 feet of sturdy nylon cord, a face-shield and rubber gloves, and drives 300 km back to Algonquin. “There’d been a few layers added since I tossed the dishwater down there, so I had to throw the magnet pretty hard to get the right depth. That caused a fair amount of splatter. Thank goodness for the face-shield!” Charlie came home with the spork! And, while it was a miracle the family heirloom had been recovered, Lilah’s parents agree no sterilization regimen known to science will allow them to put that spork in her food ever again. But at least it came home. Good job, Charlie! You are truly a mensch!

After Chicago

Spent four evenings watching almost every major speech at the DNC. That’s two full 24 hour days out of my life that I’ll never get back. That’s enough hot air to relaunch the Hindenburg many times over. So what do we know now that we didn’t know before? Not much. Over four days we heard nothing about how a Kamala administration plans to address the multiple challenges facing America. Not that anyone looks to Kamala for “leadership.” She wasn’t voted in by popular demand for her fresh ideas on foreign policy or the state of the economy, after all. No, she was chosen for the “joy” factor she brings to the race. Check out this essay at CNN by John Blake; Kamala Harris is tapping into the Black Joy movement. Indeed! Who needs policies when you’ve got Black Joy filling your sails! Blake posits an interesting theory I’d not been previously acquainted with. Kamala’s propensity for inappropriate laughter is actually the manifestation of a long tradition of Black resistance to White Supremacy! Not sure about that. I don’t recall any of the giants of the civil rights movement erupting into inane cackling whenever faced with a question. But that was then, and this is now. We roll different now. Democracy is different now. Ya, those political conventions in the old days were pretty crazy. It was considered normal to go into an open convention not knowing who the candidate would be! Just imagine how inefficient that was! It’s way more efficient to just have the big donors sort things out amongst themselves ahead of time, thereby freeing up the convention itself for a nonstop orgy of cheerleading! Ka-ma-la! Ka-ma-la! Ka-ma-la! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! Say what you will about the Trump cult; the Dem cult is at least as deranged, if not more so. The signature achievement of the convention was the successful banishment of any discussion whatsoever about the ongoing US-sponsored genocide in Gaza. The Muslim population in America is growing exponentially faster than the Jewish population and will surpass it within a few years. That would be highly problematic for America’s blank-cheque support for Israel if we had a functioning democracy. Thank God the big donors have eliminated that risk! In fairness, both Joe and Kamala stressed that they have been working tirelessly to achieve a ceasefire, to get the hostages home and spare whatever Palestinian civilians aren’t dead yet. They’ve been working tirelessly on this humanitarian priority since the last ceasefire expired in November of 2023. As Uncle Tim might put it in his folksy way, “that gosh-darned ceasefire is slipperier than a greased pig at the county fair! We just can’t seem to rassle that sucker over the finish line.” And so the genocide grinds on…

Coach Walz destined to become next Border Czar

That was quite a speech Mr Walz unleashed in Chicago last night! What the party elites no doubt noticed was that, unlike their anointed one, Tim Walz has a wiff of authenticity about him. Mind you, that was an easy room for him to shine in. These are true believers who will happily applaud any inanity. Joe is one of the most consequential presidents in American history! Hooray! Joe and Kamala have worked tirelessly for a ceasefire in Gaza! Hurrah! The economy has never been stronger! Yippee! The Democratic Party is the champion of the working class! Woohoo! America has never been stronger… NATO has never been stronger… Democracy has never been stronger… U-S-A! U-S-A-! U-S-A! But alas, eventually the euphoria must end. Sooner or later the big donors, the folks who put the ‘rats’ in ‘Democrats,’ are gonna get a little nervous that Uncle Tim, America’s coach, could outshine their empty vessel, Kamala. Even though Walz and Harris were born months apart, Walz presents like an old white guy, whereas Kamala presents twenty years younger. And never forget - she is a 'woman of colour’. The Dem elite will under no circumstances allow an old white guy to show up a ‘woman of colour,’ no matter how saturated in privilege that woman’s life trajectory has been. So keep your head down, Coach Walz, or before you know it, you’ll get the border file and we’ll never hear from you again.

All aboard the Kamalamania Express!

That’s quite a love-in they’re having in Chicago this week, eh! Kamala has set the grassroots on fire! We haven’t witnessed such an eruption of authentic enthusiasm since Obama wowed the rubes with his ‘08 campaign! And the money is just pouring in! An alleged 500 millions since Sleepy Joe was switched out for Kamala by popular demand! I’m guessing the tidal wave of euphoria will bring in another half billion per month till November - more than enough to ensure a free and fair election! As the Dem base gets to know Kamala better, their love for her will only grow. Kamala fighting racism every day of her teen life coming up in the notorious Westmount High in Montreal, the toughest school this side of Compton. Kamala overcoming the grinding poverty inflicted on every child with the misfortune of having been born to a pair of university professors. Kamala dodging the rampant misogyny and sexism inflicted on any young woman entering politics by the horny old men who consider themselves the gate-keepers to the corridors of power, senior politicians like Willie Brown. Kamala fighting the good fight against anti-black racism with such fervor she got the support of most of the police unions every time she ran for public office! Ka-ma-la! Ka-ma-la! Ka-ma-la! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! Hey, if you thought America was back when Joe took office, hold onto your hat… you ain’t seen nothin’ yet!

Tim Horton University and the enshitification of the academy

Pleased to report I’m down to buying just one print copy of the Globe & Mail per week, down from six. I still crave the page-turning, but I get my fix with the $8.40 Saturday edition. Rest of the week I read it online. Given the Farm Manager’s had an online account for over a year, this move was probably somewhat overdue. So just after 6 o’clock this morning I headed into town, picked up my Globe from the Korean Extortionist, grabbed a medium dark roast at Timmies, and settled in on a waterfront bench between the marina and the water treatment plant. You gotta admit Timmies is one of the few Canadian institutions that brings Canadians together instead of tearing them apart. True, I was put off when those Brazilian hedge-fund sharpies bought the brand, but that doesn’t seem to have diminished its appeal. As I was exiting the drive-thru I had to stop for a couple of Indigenous dudes walking by with Timmies cups. I had just got cozy on that waterfront bench when a carload of Indians (the other ones) gathered round a nearby picnic table, every one of them with a Timmies in hand. Oh Canada! But I digress. I usually head to the opinion section first. On the front page I see the headline “The Ghosts of Chicago.” Cambridge University professor of American history Andrew Preston has got a full-pager and then some doing a compare-and-contrast between the 1968 Democratic party convention in Chicago and the upcoming shindig next week. In my world that ‘68 convention is generally known as the “Chicago police riot,” but no matter. I watched it on TV. My dad was happy to see the police beating the crap out of the “hippies.” For me, that event sparked a life-long interest in anti-establishment politics. Preston, in his long-winded academic way, is analyzing the role of populism in 1968 vs next week’s convention. I was OK till I ran into this; Yet disaffected working class whites didn’t all turn to Nixon. Many instead turned to Wallace, who siphoned off enough votes from both Humphrey and Nixon - across the Sun Belt of the South and Southwest but also in the deindustrializing Rust Belt cities of Northeast and Midwest… That didn’t sound right to me. Far as I know, in ‘68 American heavy industry was alive and well. There were no deindustrializing Rust Belt cities in 1968. In my recollection, deindustrialization got going in the Reagan-Thatcher dawn of neoliberalism, and kicked into overdrive with the advent of “free trade.” So I did a little research. The term “Rustbelt” was coined during Walter Mondale’s presidential campaign in 1984. That’s 16 years after the '68 Dem convention. American manufacturing employment peaked in ‘79. There clearly was no “Rust Belt” in ‘68. The other day one or another of the annual university rankings came out. The FM was pleased as could be that two of our five (both hers) have graduated Canada’s top-ranked school, U of T. That’s where Preston graduated too, and then arrived at Cambridge via Stanford and LSE. Cambridge is consistently ranked in the top five worldwide no matter what ranking outfit you look at. And Preston is so popular at Cambridge he’s not taking any more applicants to his Doctor Phil program, according to his University of Cambridge website. I, on the other hand, hold a B.A. from the University of Guelph, consistently ranked between the 450th and 600th best universities in the world, no matter what ranking outfit you look at. Academic standards clearly aren’t what they used to be. Maybe Tim Horton's should start a university.

We're all antisemites now

Maybe you weren’t paying attention when Canada adopted the International Holocaust Remembrance Alliance definition of antisemitism in 2019. That’s when criticism of Israel officially became antisemitism. Needless to say, antisemitism has been on the uptick ever since! And it’s gone stratospheric since Israel embarked on its genocidal war on Gaza. In the beginning, we wanted to give Israel the benefit of the doubt. After all, every country has the right to defend itself. But after Bibi and Gallant announced their plans to deny food, water, and electricity to the entire Gaza population, well-meaning folks, otherwise warmly disposed to Israel, started having misgivings. After all, that smelled a lot like… genocide. Six months into this war of extermination, anti-genocide protests began to pop up on university campuses. Since it is technically impossible to criticize the genocide without implicitly criticizing the state carrying it out, all these anti-genocide protests were immediately labelled antisemitic, and the antisemitic anti-genocide protesters were dealt with ruthlessly. Never again! We are now ten months into Israel’s genocide in Gaza. Who in their right mind would not criticize Israel for its genocidal excesses? For ten months we’ve heard every school and every hospital in Gaza is a Hamas command post. Yet, after destroying every school and every hospital, Israel is further than ever from achieving its goals. Instead, it has destroyed its own credibility around the world. Many diaspora Jews are disgusted and enraged by what the Jewish supremacist cabal currently in charge is doing in their name. They protest. Everybody with a conscience is criticizing Israel. They’re all antisemites!

US and Kenya keep freedom alive in Haiti

Haiti declared independence from France a mere thirty years after America declared independence from Britain, so you’d think those two fledgling republics, the first in the Western Hemisphere, would have much in common. Alas, that was not the case. That may have had something to do with the fact independent America was a slave-owning state, whereas the independent republic in Haiti was a slave state wherein the slaves had overthrown their masters. The US didn’t even officially recognize Haiti as an independent country until the southern slave-owning states quit the Republic at the onset of the civil war. Independent Haiti was not independent for long, and was crippled from the get-go by France’s demand for reparations. Gradually, “independent” Haiti became a virtual economic colony of the USA, and so it remains to this day. Meanwhile, a mere 80 miles away, exciting things were happening in Cuba, none more exciting than Fidel Castro’s revolution of 1959. While the US approach to Haiti could be characterized as benign neglect pre-’59, the Cuban revolution perked up a lot of ears in Washington. What if this commie stuff spread to other countries? And Haiti would be a prime candidate… it could be the first domino to fall! By 1962 America had imposed suffocating sanctions against Cuba. With a brief respite during the Obama years, sanctions remain to this day. Sixty plus years of sanctions have been a roaring success; communism has not spread to Haiti! Alas, democracy has not exactly taken hold either. Every time we let Haiti have an election, they elect the wrong guy! That’s why we had to take out Aristide, twice! Let’s face it; he may be a Catholic priest, but he sure talks like a commie! So here we are today. After 60 years of keeping communism out of Haiti, and imposing crippling sanctions on communist Cuba, the GDP per capita is $9500 in Cuba versus $1500 in Haiti. Cubans have 15 years more life expectancy than their neighbours 80 miles away. The literacy rate is 61% in Haiti compared to 99.7% in Cuba. Cuba has 5 doctors per thousand population vs. one doctor per 5000 population in Haiti. Thank God we saved Haiti from the scourge of communism!

CNN reports latest US mission to restore democracy in Haiti going great!

Haiti is one of those shithole countries where they just can’t get democracy right, no matter how much Canada, France, and the USA try to help them. And look how we help; that Aristide fellow got himself democratically elected not once, but twice! That’s why Haiti is doomed. They just don’t know enough to elect the right candidate. Twice we had to remove the democratically elected Aristide in order to allow true democracy to flourish. How is such a thing possible? I figure the problem is that Haiti doesn’t have a resident billionaire class. Their super-rich tend to prefer Miami or Montreal or Switzerland. That’s why their attempts at democracy repeatedly fail. Look at the greatest democracy in the world. USA has the most billionaires anywhere, which is why their democracy functions like a well-oiled machine. If Haiti had a responsible billionaire class, Aristide would still be a country priest in some God-forsaken rural parish, and some Juan Guido-type character acceptable to Canada, France, and above all, the USA, would be leading a prosperous democracy! Anyway, it’s not too late to turn Haiti’s ship of state around. True, things have really gone down the shitter since the failure of the last Haiti salvation mission, which, instead of bringing democracy and prosperity, brought only a cholera epidemic thanks to the saviours shitting in the drinking water. This time the Kenyans are in charge! Yup, Uncle Sam saw things were going seriously askew in the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere, and lobbied desperately for some vassal state to step in and restore order. Both Canada and France declined, causing a desperate search for some desperate (preferably majority black) country to take the lead role in the newly-created Multinational Security Support mission, or MSS. The original Kenyan deployment has been in-country for a few weeks now. They’re still training (don’t shit in the drinking water) and waiting for their back-ups from a handful of Caribbean nations also keen on wheedling a few bucks out of Uncle Sam’s purse. CNN has a world exclusive on view today. They actually interviewed the current non-elected PM Conille, the first international media to do so! Conille is very optimistic that, if America comes through with its promises of whatever it takes for as long as it takes, democracy and prosperity will follow! I wouldn’t get my hopes up.

Stop this crazy train and let me off

Things are going nuts all over the world. Gaza, Ukraine, Yemen... death and destruction like never before! What happens when you spend too much time on screens is you allow yourself to believe it’s always fifteen minutes or less to Armageddon. I know turning off your screens doesn’t stop the ugly shit from happening, but do I really need to watch Al Jazeera 24/7 so I can see every dead baby in Gaza? No! Luckily, I’ve got my lazy Italian mastiff at my side as I negotiate the path towards mindful enlightenment, or perhaps, enlightened mindfulness. Frankly, I’ll happily settle for either one. Bruno is the most affable companion one could wish for. He mostly spends his few waking hours planning his next nap. And he’s really good at it! What makes his napping so exceptional is the utterly symphonic snoring that comes with it. I spent some time on the stoop this afternoon, watching the buzzards float in circles a thousand feet overhead. They can spot a dead chipmunk on the road from that height. They can see me too, if they see that chipmunk. Wonder what they’re saying as the circle up there? When that fat fuck drops dead we’ll be living large, boys! I gotta be worth a couple hundred dead chipmunks! So I’m sitting there watching the buzzards and speculating about their possible conversations, and my ruminations are interrupted by the soothing sounds of Bruno’s melodious snoring… That sound is so soul-healing I should record it. Instead of listening to canned surf sounds in your yoga class, you could listen to Bruno instead! Bruno could become a wellness guru!

How to get away with genocide without really trying

First step; find a receptive audience. As The Greatest Leader Since Moses demonstrated last week, if you’re selling genocide, there’s not a more receptive audience than the US Congress. They really love this stuff. When you’ve murdered thousands of children over ten months, there’s not a lot of venues will provide you a standing ovation. Welcome to America! Secondly, make sure everybody knows you’re the victim. October 7th, don’t you know! Biggest slaughter of Jews since The Holocaust, don’t you know! The equivalent of eleven 9/11s, don’t you know! Personally, I don’t know. In fact, I’m highly skeptical. Israeli spook services are arguably the best in the world. They can track down terrorist masterminds to a single apartment in Beirut or Tehran and dispatch them with a single missile. But they had no idea October 7th was coming? When they’ve been watching Hamas practice up for this assault for at least two years? When Egypt, Qatar, and USA all gave them a heads up in the week before? Get outta here! What I’d like to see is an independent international inquiry into who knew what and when. Perhaps such an inquiry could investigate who ordered IDF forces to cool their heels for hours as the attack unfolded. Perhaps such an inquiry might even get around to establishing how many of those Jewish victims were slaughtered by “friendly fire.” Finally, when you want to sell genocide, always focus on your superior values. That goes over big in DC. Since America is the font of all justice and human rights in the world, Americans automatically assume any ally of America shares those values. You can’t possibly be evil if you’re allied with the good guys! And here we are…

Only Kamala can save us now

There were a few faces missing when King Bibi addressed Congress last week. Over 100 Dems and one Republican absented themselves from the orgy of arse-licking that erupted as American lawmakers showered The Greatest Leader Since Moses with 58 standing ovations during a 54 minute speech. And what a speech it was! The USA and Israel, together, will save the civilized world from barbarism! USA! USA! USA! The fact of the matter is Netanyahu’s war on Hamas, after ten months, has been a disaster for Israel, and bringing in the Americans is seen as the best possible strategy for a face-saving victory. Speaking of barbarism, there was a raucous debate in the Knesset yesterday about whether anal rape of Palestinian prisoners was an acceptable interrogation tool. Civilized society ain’t what it used to be! I have speculated that drawing the US into a direct confrontation with Iran may not have the salutary effect the American Exceptionalists imagine. As a certain V. Zelensky is finding out the hard way, America still barks like a Big Dog, but the bite… well, that’s not so impressive anymore. No less an expert than Joint Chiefs of Staff supremo General C.Q. Brown has admitted as much. The humiliating clown show in Congress last week demonstrated that a majority of America’s elected representatives are willing and eager to follow the Greatest Leader over the cliff. Biden and Trump have been having a competition to see who can be a better Zionist. That’s what gives Netanyahu the confidence to assassinate the political leader of Hamas - the very man he has allegedly been negotiating the release of the hostages with. That’s why Kamala’s snub of Netanyahu was perhaps the last flicker of light in a rapidly enveloping darkness. Kamala, you may be an empty vessel, untested and untried, but you are America’s last hope for sanity. May God have mercy on us all.

F*ck Trudeau

If you live anywhere in Canada, you’ve seen those F*ck Trudeau flags everywhere. The asterisk is replaced by a maple leaf, but everybody knows nobody’s talking about fick, fack, or feck. Nope, they’re saying Fuck Fluffy! And why do so many Canadians have such strong feelings about our esteemed PM? Because the Canadians who fly those flags were grievously insulted when their Prime Minister declared they had unacceptable opinions. Yes, it’s a free country with free speech and all that good stuff, but when your government gifts you freedom of speech, you gotta know there’s some responsibilities that go along with that freedom. Responsibility #1 is never bite the hand that feeds you. Disparaging, mocking, or even questioning Dear Leader is strictly verboten. That’s why PM Fluffy invoked the War Measures Act. The name has been changed, but the purpose remains the same; impose war-time powers to stifle dissent and punish dissenters. And, clearly, Canada was deep into an existential war in early 2022. Dozens of big rigs had illegally parked in downtown Ottawa. Sometimes they tooted their horns at night, which caused extreme trauma to the work-from-home civil servants who were desperately hoping their next Zoom meeting wouldn’t be interrupted by a random truck toot. So, just like his Daddy invoked the War Measures Act, back in the day when FLQ terrorists were murdering foreign diplomats, to save our democracy, Justin was forced to impose the Emergency Act to spare those lap-top warriors the inconvenience of interrupted sleep. Thankfully, that egregious bit of over-reach raised enough eyebrows that eventually a public inquiry was held. Here are some of the headlines that ensued. From the CBC; Ottawa's use of Emergencies Act violated Charter. From the National Post; Invoking Emergencies Act ruled unconstitutional. From the Globe & Mail; Invoking Emergencies Act wasn't justified and violated Charter rights, court rules. Even foreign news sites picked up on Fluffy’s dictatorial impulses. Here’s the Guardian; Judge rebukes Trudeau for use of Emergency Act. Do you detect a pattern in the reportage? This is some serious shit we’re dealing with. Violating the Charter? Unconstitutional? Those are the signs a democracy is slipping into fascism. Here’s my question. All those headlines came out in January of 2023. In the year and a half since, how much discussion have you seen in any of those media platforms about Canada’s drift towards totalitarianism? None whatsoever! But here’s a guy who’s still newsworthy; Pat King! Yup, the alleged mastermind in this plot to undermine Fluffy is still going through the court system. Let that be a lesson to any other wise guys who want to disagree with PM Fluffy! Violating the Charter of Rights is small potatoes compared to encouraging illegal parking. Many of us disagree. That’s why you see those F*ck Trudeau flags clear across the land.

Democracy for the rich

As a news junkie sometimes you risk over-dosing on the amount of bullshit coming your way. Yesterday was one of those days. First up, you had the Greatest Leader since Moses favour his acolytes in Washington with a speech in congress. Oh my, how the assembled lawmakers strained to touch the hem of his raiment! It was as though the Messiah himself was among them! Meanwhile, most of the world sees Netanyahu as a mass murderer and a war criminal. What does yesterday’s spectacle do to America’s reputation in the world? And we’re not just talking about the so-called Global South. The Gaza genocide is decidedly unpopular even in many of Borrell’s “Garden” countries. Yet there goes congress making an obscene display of celebrating the war criminal. Then we had poor Joe come on and give a pathetically unconvincing pitch about how resigning was his idea and his alone, and he did it to save democracy. Sorry Joe, I’m not buying it. Your handlers hung you out to dry, Joe. Used you and have now tossed you aside. I feel for you Joe. Was this sudden change of fortune the will of the people? No, it was the will a few big donors. That’s democracy in America!

Sudden appearance of Kamala bandwagon means Deep State have picked their puppet

It was getting too hard to pretend their last puppet was running the show. We all knew it wasn’t Joe Biden. For that matter, it wasn’t Trump before that. No, the show is in steady hands, well beyond the reach of the whimsical ebb and flow of public opinion, formerly known as the will of the people. Luckily, American democracy is safely in the care of the large donors. These are serious people with a serious interest in what’s best for American billionaires. Unlike Shmo Sixpack, they’ve got serious skin in the game. Sleepy Joe has gone past his best-before date and they needed a new empty vessel to read the teleprompter. And Kamala is a perfect empty vessel. Look how Black women are rallying around her! As if they have something in common… And look at her record as a “progressive” prosecutor, a record that is currently being invented on the fly. No matter. The would-be presidential candidate who didn’t win a single delegate in the first round of Dem primaries pre 2020, is so close to the Oval Office she can smell Joe’s farts. It is truly a miracle of democracy! And what makes such miracles possible? Big donors! USA! USA! USA!

How "Black" is Kamala Harris?

Apparently the answer is, not very. Maybe 25% at best. Mom was 100% Indian and Dad was Jamaican-Irish. Both parents were super-high achievers, climbing to great heights in the Ivory Tower. There’s a Wikipedia page titled Family of Kamala Harris. I’m surprised the AI algos haven’t cleansed it yet. Here’s a quote; “ Donald J. Harris (Kamala’s dad) wrote in an account of his family ancestry that the Harris name comes from his paternal grandfather Joseph Alexander Harris, a land owner and agricultural produce exporter, and that his paternal grandmother "Miss Chrishy" (née Christiana Brown) was a descendant of Hamilton Brown, a plantation and slave owner.” Did you get that? Kamala Harris is descended from slave-owners! That explains her enthusiasm for being tough on Black crime during her career as a prosecutor and AG of California!

Netanyahu and Zelensky will bring down the American Empire

Hardly a month into Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, Zelensky had agreed to a ceasefire proposal that would have ended the war on condition that Ukraine declare itself neutral and give up its NATO ambitions. At the last minute, Boris Johnson showed up with a message; keep fighting! All of NATO is behind you. We are committed to providing everything it takes for as long as it takes. And don’t forget, the most powerful country in history, the USA, leads NATO and guarantees your victory over the aggressor. Besides, our sanctions from hell will cripple Russia within weeks. Zelensky bought it. What could go wrong when the mightiest military on earth has your back? This was the country, after all, that was so omnipotent it shaped the world’s reality, as Karl Rove put it. This was the country, which according to Michael Ledeen, “ could throw some crappy little country against the wall every ten years or so, just to show we mean business.” And throw crappy little countries against the wall was what they did with depressing regularity. Zelensky should have taken some pause for thought. The mighty empire that routinely devastated crappy little countries had nevertheless just been run out of Afghanistan after a twenty year war against lightly armed religious fanatics and goat herders. In fact, the mightiest military in history hadn’t come out on the winning side of any war in over 75 years. Two and a half years and half-a-million dead Ukrainians later, it has become obvious that the combined NATO does not have what it takes. Maybe in a few years, but Ukraine is out of time. “Whatever it takes for as long as it takes” turned out to be an empty promise. Zelensky put his faith in Uncle Sam, and where has it got him? There’s another world leader who has embarked on a poorly thought-out war on the assumption that Uncle Sam will save his bacon if things go south; Israel’s Netanyahu. Yes, after October 7 Israel had to respond. It could have inflicted immense damage on Hamas in a week’s worth of targeted strikes, but no, Netanyahu decided a full-scale ground invasion was the way to go. Ten months later, this has become by far the longest war in Israel’s history, and Israel is not winning. Israeli media report the IDF is short of tanks, munitions, and manpower. Israeli society is fracturing along multiple fault lines. Most of the world is repulsed by what is by any conventional appraisal an on-going genocide. But Bibi’s strategy at his point is to keep the slaughter going at least till the US election. He assumes a Trump regime will be more inclined to step in when he expands his losing war to Iran. He may be right. Trump is the guy who whacked Soleimani, after all. That’s a very steep gamble. He’s betting the future of Israel on two unknowns. Would America go all-in on a war with Iran? Secondly, would that make a difference? UK and American warships have been patrolling the Red Sea since January in a vain attempt to stop Houthi attacks on shipping. US-allied Arab dictatorships Egypt and Jordan are already struggling with restless populations who demand their leaders do more to support Palestine. Direct US involvement in a war on behalf of Israel would blow the lid off the regional pressure-cooker. America not only has no stomach for that kind of boots-on-the-ground war, it lacks the industrial base to sustain such a war, let alone win it. Back to back humiliations in both Ukraine and the Middle East will bring down the American Empire.