Here's a conspiracy theory for you

I call it the Intelligent Dandelion theory.

I figure the grass-seed cartel, in cahoots with Monsanto and the Chinese lawnmower manufacturers, have developed an intelligent dandelion. When it senses the lawnmower approaching, the intelligent dandelion will lie down. Sometimes for a few hours, sometimes for a day or two.

But then they get up again!

Yup, within a day or two of cutting the grass, your lawn looks like you don't even own a mower.

This insight came to me whilst I was fiddling with assorted lawnmower parts on the front stoop. My piece-of-shit mower, barely into its third season of grass-cutting, puked out the string you pull to start it.

Now, we all know about planned obsolescence...

What, you got two full years out of that thing? Excellent!

Buy a new one!

Well, I'm not falling for that crap. How hard can it be to replace a piece of pull-cord?

As it turns out, a lot harder than you'd think. They've got the tiniest springs and gizmos and whatsits in there. Half of them are held in place by gravity, which is fine till you take things apart and turn them upside down. Then you've got a random rainshower of mechanical miscellany falling to the ground.

But I persevered! Took an hour and a half, but I can start that piece of shit again, and that recoil spring pulls the string in far enough that I can restart it - not as far as it used to, but what the hell.

The lawnmower starts!

What farming was... and what it will be again

Check out this 200 acres of farm heaven on PEI.

That house once had aspirations, if not pretensions. When that place was built in 1917 those two hundred acres provided a livelihood for the family who lived there, and coughed up enough surplus cash to pay for this house.

That doesn't happen anymore on a two hundred acre farm... unless you're into market gardening or some kind of niche ag.

Market gardening is extremely labour intensive, even more so in this day and age when the consumer wants everything "organic."

To make it in the modern economy most farmers buy into the industrial agri-chem model of farming. These are the guys who will pay $20,000/acre for cropland and still expect to turn a profit. Which they will... at least until soybean prices go down or interest rates go up. These are the guys who feed those cities you read about on the bumper stickers. These are the guys who depend on the latest Monsanto innovations to square the circle.

That's what "modern agriculture" has become.

I've been around farmers all my life. I remember Ed Hutton telling me how in the old days practically everything you ate came off your own farm. You only left the farm to buy clothes and workboots.

"But gradually it all changed. Now a farmer does one crop and gets everything else off the farm."

Ya, I guess you would. Don't know how many different recipes you can cook up if you're farming 2000 acres of GMO soybeans.

In Ed's case, he didn't go into soy; he went into gravel.

Ed told me the first ten years he farmed out at Vimy Ridge Farm they barely scraped by. Sometime in the early sixties he told his wife, "this is our last year on the farm if things don't turn around."

That was the year he, or maybe it was Ed Cox, discovered gravel under them thar fields. All those Cox gravel pits around the south-west corner of Guelph were at one time where Ed grew corn and hay and grazed cattle.

We're coming to a turning point.

The gravel farmers have become miners rather than farmers.

The Monsanto "drench your acreage in chemicals" model of farming is falling out of favour.

What's left?


The future belongs to small-scale organic farming.

But, that's very labour intensive...


So I guess we'll have to get used to paying more for real food!

When the system breaks down

Around here I have a system. Diesel goes in the yellow jugs. 50:1 two-stroke mix goes in the one gallon red jugs. Any larger red cans have straight-up gasoline, high-octane in the smaller ones and run of the mill ethanol-gasoline mix in the larger.

That ethanol thing is quite the scam. Farmers grow corn. Mostly they grow it by the Industrial Agriculture standards approved by Monsanto and the rest of the Big Ag overlords.

Corn grown, you can choose to use it as food for your family or food for your car.

But the food you feed your car won't ever feed a family...

It's a fucked-up thing.

But I digress.

Systems.

They can go awry. They can be corrupted. They can get fucked-up.

You'd be surprised how often my simple system with the fuel supply goes in the ditch.

Sometimes it's just driver error, as in when I can't remember what runs on diesel and what doesn't. I'm always clear that the Ninja needs high-octane gasoline. But the cars can be confusing. I mean, last year I was piloting that diesel VW. It becomes habit to stop in front of the diesel pump at the Pioneer.

So you change cars but you still stop in front of the diesel pump... ya, you gotta keep your wits about you.

And the further you go down the Alzheimer Highway, the bigger that challenge becomes.

Government doesn't want you to know what you're stuffing in your gob

And rightfully so!

After all, we wouldn't want ADM and Monsanto and Cargill and all the rest of them to feel short-changed after all the money they have spent buying congressmen and congresswomen and senators, would we?

Darn tootin' we wouldn't!

Yup, the GMO advocates in the Senate and the House are all aboard for denying Americans the right to know what they're eating. That's because, even though this thing called the "public" is overwhelmingly against being forced to consume genetically modified frankenfoods, those elected representatives in the House and the Senate understand that they're where they are to represent the folks who give them money, not the folks who elected them.

Ya, I know that sucks, but suck it up and get with the modern era.

That's how democracy works in the USA today!

And generally speaking, once it's working that way in the USA, it's gonna be working like that in Canada and all the other me-too nations too...

So enjoy your GMO Corn Flakes!

Nevermind the Tar Sands; Canada is a "global clean energy leader!"

It's no wonder Big Steve ducked out of his turn at the podium at the UN Climate Change Summit and instead left the hapless Leona Aglukkak to uncork this whopper before a global audience.

That declaration of leadership no doubt left many a head shaking in disbelief.

Obviously, Big Steve really has a hate on for his environment minister.

But not to worry, Leona; BS from Big Steve is no longer considered remarkable by any observers who have followed the decline of Canada's reputation on the world stage.

As a habitual reader of Foreign Affairs press releases, I already know that Canadian leadership in improving nutrition for the less fortunate means shoving Monsanto down the throats of the "developing" world.

Canadian leadership in promoting "sustainable development" in the benighted lands really means forcing our mining companies on them.

Our trade agreements that have been pursued willy-nilly by the Harper gang are not about trade at all, but about tying our trade partners into a legal regime that favours corporate rights over sovereign rights.
We lead the world, in the Harper era, in signing away sovereignty via these noxious "trade agreements."

So in the Orwellian world of Canada under Harper, yes, there is no doubt that by being the biggest source of the dirtiest energy, we are indeed a "leader" in clean energy...

The very moment Poroshenko loses all hope for a NATO intervention, France cancels warship contract

That was an odd bit of political sleight of hand, wasn't it?

After playing the "we are being invaded by Russia" card again and again, with absolutely no credible evidence emerging to support the claim, and not one iota of Western support, beyond the strictly rhetorical (see the Harper, Baird, Tusk file) on the horizon, Poroshenko decides a peace plan might be a good idea.

Even corn-fed hillbillies up here in the Bruce knew from the beginning that nobody was going to war over Ukraine.

But NATO knows back-room arm-twisting like nobody else. The weakest link at the moment is lame-duck Hollande, whose poll ratings have dived so low that a syphilitic Parisienne prostitute could easily oust him in the next election.

Just when Poroshenko, a NATO stooge through and through, is ready to make peace with Putin, we get the lamest of lame Euro-pols throwing a spanner in the works by announcing the cancellation of that multi-billion warship contract.

Both Poroshenko and Hollande have just sealed their fate. They are men of the past.

Leaders of the future will join Putin in forging relationships that are mutually beneficial for the people of all countries concerned, instead of pursuing policies for the benefit of Monsanto and the fracking lobby.

Canada "saves women and children in developing world" by subsidizing Monsanto

In the past three months the Department of Foreign Affairs, Trade, and Development has touted it's worldwide commitment to the betterment of the lives of children and mothers well over a dozen times in its press releases, usually accompanied by trumpeting Canada's "leadership" role.

Here is today's effort in its entirety, with my comments italicized;

Canadian leadership saving the lives of women and children across the developing world

The more you look into these claims of "leadership" the less evidence you will find.

July 29, 2014 - Arnaud, Manitoba - Foreign Affairs, Trade and Development Canada

Today, the Honourable Christian Paradis, Minister of International Development and La Francophonie, participated in a round table hosted by the Canadian Foodgrains Bank that brought together Canadian farmers, local organizations and the private sector. The Minister had the opportunity to discuss Canada's leadership role to date and get feedback on what concrete actions Canada should take to improve global nutrition, a key pillar of the maternal, newborn and child health initiative, Canada’s top development priority.

The Canadian Foodgrains Bank is well-intentioned God-fearing farm folks who donate money and food grains, to help the poor in less fortunate countries. They are generously supported by Dow Agroscience, Syngenta, Viterra, and Monsanto.

After the round table, Minister Paradis announced new funding to the International Food Policy Research Institute (IFPRI) to support Innovative Approaches for the Prevention of Childhood Undernutrition, a project being implemented in Mali, Senegal and Burkina Faso that seeks to prevent both chronic and acute undernutrition in children.

IFPRI is a bio-tech lobby under the umbrella of CGIAR, an agri-business, bio-tech, and crop genetics combine funded by industry and governments.

“The efforts of everyday Canadians, like those who give their time and energy to the Canadian Foodgrains Bank, form the backbone of Canada’s resolve to eradicate global poverty and eliminate preventable deaths among women, newborns and children,” said Minister Paradis. “By continuing to work together we are getting closer to reaching that goal. We know that investing in nutrition is among the most cost-effective means of improving the health of women and children and I am proud to support a project that will inform and guide regional, national and global policies to scale up nutrition for young children.”

There is no shortage of food in this world, but too many people have a shortage of money to pay for it. That's why your cat eats and children in South Sudan don't. It's got nothing to do with crop yields or cost-effectiveness and everything to do with allowing a market economy to allocate food resources.

“For too long, there has been a disconnect between programs aimed at managing and treating acute undernutrition and those focused on the prevention of undernutrition in young children,” said Marie Ruel, Director, Poverty, Health and Nutrition Division, IFPRI. “This project is unique in two ways: first, it is intended to bring together interventions to control and prevent both acute and chronic undernutrition, and second, it includes a strong research component that will make it possible to document the impacts and lessons learned for programming and policies to accelerate progress in achieving optimal child nutrition globally.”

The consultation focused on how to ensure that global commitments deliver real results to those I need while remaining accountable to Canadian taxpayers. Canada is committed to scaling up interventions that will have the greatest impact, in the areas of strengthening health systems, reducing the burden of disease, and improving nutrition. This meeting was part of the consultations announced by Prime Minister Stephen Harper at the Saving Every Woman, Every Child: Within Arm’s Reach Summit, which took place in Toronto last May in Toronto.

This press release claims Canadian Leadership is saving the lives of women and children across the developing world, and is doing so by providing undisclosed funding to an agri-business lobby group. Dow, Syngenta, Viterra, Monsanto et al are hugely profitable corporations and do not require subsidies of any kind.

Portraying Canadian funding for biotech conglomerates as "saving women and girls" is beyond disingenuous.

It is outright fraud.

Meet the other farmers of the future

These are the ones who will actually be feeding cities.

The organic farm-fresh 100 mile crowd will be feeding families and maybe even a few neighbourhoods, but it'll be the Monsanto ADM crowd that feeds the masses.

I was just talking this over with the Farm Manager, and she agrees that most of the farm managers of the future will be Mexicans.

Here's how it's gonna shake out.

We know most of the quality crop-land all over Canada and the US is being bought up by hedge funds. At the moment, a lot of this land is leased back to the farmers who once owned it.

That makes them, when you get right down to it, employees.

As employees, they've got that spoiled North American attitude that their work should provide them with a decent standard of living.

The hedgies will only put up with this cheek for so long. Then we'll see a major move towards both Mexican farm labour and Mexican farm managers.

Mexicans understand that they're lucky to make minimum wage.

When you understand that you're lucky to have a wage of any kind, you're not gonna be giving the boss a lot of trouble.

So here's the farm of the big-ag future.

Some white male sharpie who runs a million acre farm in Saskatchewan or Arkansas or both out of his home office in Connecticut is going to realize that bringing in farm managers at minimum wage from Mexico is gonna solve a lot of problems.

We've had Mexican farm labour here for years; Mexican management is just the next logical step.

Those big-ag guys are busy as busy can be filling out those H-2A and TFW applications at this very moment.

"Super weed" found in Alberta

Now there's a headline that kinda catches the eye, doesn't it?

That's what I thought.

I lived in the Wild Rose province for a spell way back when. The weed was OK, but it pretty much all came from somewhere else. Didn't really see too much in the way of wild roses either. For my money, I'd go to New Brunswick for the wild roses, and BC for the super weed.

Anyway, times have changed and apparently "super weed" today means a weed, as in dandelions, ragweed, etc., that is resistant to the anti-weed chemicals peddled by Monsanto.

This is coming from a story on CBC News. They're reporting that a weed called Kochia is making itself right at home all over Alberta.

Monsanto are the biggest chemical peddlers around, and their big hit is Round-up, the chemical weed-slayer that'll make your fields ready for all the Round-up ready genetically modified seeds that you can only get from Monsanto once you've drank the Monsanto Kool-aid.

So here's why it's a story. Your farm buys into the Monsanto better-farming-through-chemistry program, and they guarantee you no more weeds.

Then, hokey-doodle, if good old weeds don't come a-creepin' up through your canola anyway! First couple weeks, they're just coming through; couple weeks later, they're choking out the canola. A while after that, your crop is done and you've got a field of "super weed."

Which is why you'd do well cultivating Monsanto-free super weed in the first place.

Not that we do that here at Falling Downs. We're just too vulnerable to the OPP Air Force.

But we are Monsanto free.