American boots on the ground in Uganda can only mean one thing; Uganda's got oil!
Does it ever. Discoveries made over the past five years could eventually lead to the impoverished African country becoming a major oil exporter. And here's the problem; we don't want the Chinese getting their grubby fingers on the stuff. That's our oil!
And just to make sure the wily Chinese get the message, we had to get American boots on the ground before there were Chinese boots there instead. That's how we roll.
We have to make sure, of course, that Uganda's political elite play ball. We can't be having all that oil fall into the hands of another Gaddafi type, you know, using all that oil wealth to provide subsidized cellphone service for the whole neighborhood, subsidized health care, education, and housing, and all the other faggy-commie shit that comes with those radical kooks.
American boots on the ground will help the Ugandan elite remember who calls the shots.
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