Happy New Year from Falling Downs

I have to say, that year kinda sucked. But you have to make the best of it. We had a white Christmas but it's looking pretty green for the new year. There's so much melt-water the creek is near its all-time highs. You can hear the creek from the front porch. Right now we're fighting to stay awake till the midnight hour. It's a losing battle once you hit senior citizen status. It's coming down to setting the alarm so you can wake up and crack the champagne. Happy New Year!

Trump tax filings reveal rich people pay no taxes

Well there's a shocker! Who knew? Lose an imaginary billion here or there, and that's written off against real income in perpetuity! The US tax code truly is a thing of wonder. After all, it was tax lawyers who wrote it and revise it, ensuring it meets the needs of the best and the brightest who naturally rise to the top in the American meritocracy. Here's what's extra special. Legions of thousand-dollar-per-hour and up legal wizards have been duking it out over Trump's tax filings for about seven or eight years now. Donald Trump made billable hours great again!

Montana not a libertarian utopia after all

There's a lot to be said for Big Sky living. The views are amazing. There's hunting and fishing right out your door. Eight-year-olds can open carry... well, not sure that's true. But here's what I found out today. I'm watching this Montana real estate porn, and they're trying to find a property for a guy who plans to do a lot of snowmobiling. They show him this beauty place in the mountains. Nothing but deep powder for miles. The perfect world for a $40k mountain sled, and they say you can get five or six months of sledding up in the hills. Then the real estate agent says, "You're really close to the trails here. You don't have to trailer very far at all." Trailer? WTF? Around here you don't trailer anywhere. You can live in a condo in town, fire up your sled in the parking lot, and off you go! They don't believe in gun control, but you gotta trailer your sled to the official snowmobile trail? Get outta here!

Journalism or propaganda?

On Wednesday Global Affairs Canada issued a news release, in concert with the governments of Sweden, Ukraine and the UK, condemning Iran and demanding justice for the victims on flight PS752, the Ukrainian airliner shot down by Iranian missiles minutes after take-off from Tehran on January 8, 2020, resulting in the deaths of all 176 aboard. The news release runs a couple of hundred words. On Thursday The Globe and Mail reported on the news release. The story starts top left of the front page and gives you another dozen paragraphs on page 4. In a couple of thousand words it sheds no light on what may have transpired that day, but dwells on the suffering of the victims’ families and the odious malevolence of the Iranian regime. So what else was going on in Iran on January 8? While the Globe story doesn’t mention it, that was a dangerous day in Tehran. The Iranians had fired a barrage of cruise missiles at American military bases in Iraq that day, payback for the American assassination of Qasem Soleimani the previous week. That brazen hit, completely beyond the pale under international law, was authorized personally by America’s gangster-in-chief at the time, Donald Trump. So who can blame the Iranians for being a little jumpy? They were expecting imminent retaliation for the missile attack that killed no one but allegedly left over 100 US personnel with traumatic brain injuries. Shooting down a passenger airliner by mistake under those circumstances seems more than plausible. Oddly enough, that was also the excuse when the Americans shot down Iranian flight 655 in 1988, a passenger airliner, killing all 290 persons on board. These facts would have been considered essential in establishing context in the old days when The Globe and Mail used to do journalism. Now that they’ve re-invented themselves as a propaganda organ for American Exceptionalism, it’s become more important to avoid context.

Living Big Sky: is Montana the last refuge for white people?

Living Big Sky is basically a promo for the state of Montana. A relative newcomer in the genre of real estate porn, it draws its audience from people who fantasize about mountain views and fresh air. The Farm Manager has been binge-watching Living Big Sky, and I can see why. One rustic mountain horse farm after another. Every place has fresh air and mountain views and a rustic homestead. They're really big on rustic in Montana. We'd head on out ourselves if it wasn't for the grand-kids. I'm not binge-watching this schlock myself, but I'm binge-adjacent you could say, so I'm kinda following things. After about 12 episodes I enquire, have you seen any Black people yet? The FM is way more progressive than me. She ponders my query for a long moment, and realizes, to her horror, that she has been bingeing on a show that excludes Black people. Relax, I tell her. There's no Black people in a show about Montana because there's hardly any Black people in Montana to begin with. You can't exclude people who aren't there. A few episodes along, we met our first Black person in Montana. He was a real estate broker selling fresh air and mountain-view horse farms... To white people!

Canada needs to grow up

Bob Rae was a socialist once upon a time. Since 2020 he’s been Canada’s ambassador to the UN. Today he gets a half-page spread in The Globe and Mail; “World needs to grow up, Canada’s UN envoy says.” According to Bolshevik Bob, there remains a tendency for “governments to see the world as a chessboard on which national ambitions are played out… a global tendency not particular to Canada or the United States or anyone else.” Maybe so, but there’s only one country that claims to own the chessboard, and that’s the USA. I refer to Zbigniew Brzezinski’s The Grand Chessboard: American Primacy and its Geostrategic Imperatives. It’s a must read for anyone wanting to make sense of the last 25 years of US foreign policy, right up to the current disaster in Ukraine. While I don’t want to spoil it for you, the “geostrategic imperative” can be summed up thusly; America must strive to maintain full-spectrum dominance of any country or grouping of countries that could potentially threaten its role as global hegemon. America has been striving mightily indeed. After a series of lopsided victories over a string of upstarts (Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya, Syria) America is now on the cusp of victory over Putin’s Russia. America’s Ukrainian proxies have dealt the Russians “heavy military blows” and garnered “a groundswell of international opinion on their side.” The reality is that Ukraine is on life-support provided primarily by American tax-payers, and the US-designed sanctions are taking a far greater toll on the economies of America’s allies than they are on Russia. And while just a few more months and a few more hundred billions in weapons may or may not cement our victory, Bob bemoans the fact that this challenge has been more difficult, militarily and economically, than many had expected. It’s sad to see a former man of principle reduced to shilling for American Exceptionalism. Hey Bob, maybe we should do a little growing up before we lecture the rest of the planet.

Pitch for new Netflix series... this one's a winner!

Had this brainwave, not sure where it came from, but outta the blue, I said to the Farm Manager; "you know what would make a good show?" I figure I'd bounce it off her on account she watches Netflix all the time, whereas I rarely get past Al Jazeera and Jay Leno's Garage. "Follow the adventures of a guy who's coming to terms with mortality. You know; one foot on a banana peel an the other foot on the gas as he's steering that Dodge Hellcat down the Alzheimer Highway at 200mph. You could follow him through life as he grapples with one existential crisis after another. The solutions are always readily at hand by he never recognizes them. Instead, he is constantly forced to MacGyver his way out of calamities largely of his own makeing." Yup, I think that could be a winner all right! I'm a planner, not a doer, so I'm not looking for a starring role or anything. But I do have quite a range of story ideas, and could be persuaded to take a consulting role.

Elon Musk and the Great (Twitter) Reset

If you've been paying attention, you've figured out what Musk got for the 44 billions he overpaid for Twitter; the once-in-a-lifetime chance to make the so-called "liberal establishment" poop their collective drawers. Seems our deep state betters have literally been calling the shots at Twitter and the other social media behemoths for years. You've been getting all the news approved by Washington's alphabet soup of spook agencies - and none of the news they'd rather you not see! That's gotta hurt if you're one of the gullible who still believe, against all evidence, that mainstream media are committed to truth and transparency. There's way too much sewage bubbling to the surface now for the gate-keepers to hold it back. Alas, it's a mistake to assume that Musk is a fresh broom sweeping out the "deep state." Musk is himself an integral part of the show. He's the point-man for a deep state rebranding exercise. What, you thought an outsider was going to be allowed to take over the privatized US space program? Not likely!

Motorists are encouraged to avoid driving on roads that are closed

I saw that scroll by at the Ontario 511 website when I was checking out road conditions. The condition of roads across Grey and Bruce counties at this moment is they're all officially closed. Apparently that doesn't prevent folks from driving on closed roads. Hence the pleading title. We're about 24 hours into the Christmas Blizzard of '22. Cops are out on snowmobiles ferrying supplies to stranded motorists. How about you ferry them to the clink and tow their cars to the impound lot instead. Maybe that would impress on these folks that closed means stay off. Seems like we're rewarding foolish behavior. We didn't see any traffic go by here till mid=afternoon, when a three car convoy crawled by with their four-way flashers on. The storm has changed a lot of holiday plans, but what can you do? We lost power for four hours today, and then you can do even less. I pulled a chair to the window and spent the afternoon watching the storm. It's just like a live webcam, but it's for real!

The Toronto 8; teen girl gang kills man for bottle of booze

We're getting down to motive in the sordid Toronto case of the 59 year old homeless man knifed to death by a gaggle of teens. Seems there was an altercation over a bottle of booze. Perfectly understandable then... after all, it seems a clear breach of human rights to deny alcohol to teenagers. As a veteran high-school teacher, I've gleaned some insights into teens and booze. Overall, I'd say teens and booze is not a positive combo. It seldom ends well. Although there are exeptions. I recall one of my students showing up well before class, in distress bordering on hysteria. "Oh Mr. Neumann, I'm going to jail," she wailed. "I don't know what to do!" I tried to calm her and get to the bottom of the story. Seems she and another teen girl had befriended an older chap and persuaded him to procure them a little something from the liquor store. Mission accomplished, but then the unlucky older chap thought he might get lucky and insisted on accompanying his new teen friends back to their home. Then he wouldn't leave. "So what could I do, Mr. Neumann?" she sobbed. "I smashed him in the head with a bottle and he fell down the stairs. Then the ambulance came, and the police. Now I'm going to jail because I'm already on probation... WHaaaAW!!!" Let's think this through, kid. Buddy buys booze for under-age girls, then sexually harrasses them. They beat him up. What do you think he's gonna tell the cops?

The Holy Grail of air defense systems goes to Ukraine

The news readers at CBC have been referring to the Patriot missile system in those terms. Yup, the "Holy Grail" of anti-missile missile defence. One of the few places where Patriots see action is in Saudi Arabia, who have invested billions in this anti-missile missile system. The result? The towel-heads 'o terror they are fighting over there in Houti-land, who are marginally less primitive than the Taliban who ran the US Army out of Afghanistan, routinely manage to get missiles past the Holy Grail of air defense systems. Hard to imagine this is going to be a game-changer. A single Patriot battery requires three tractor-trailers to move it, and a crew of 90, who require extensive training. It most likely won't arrive before this war is over, and if it does, it won't last a week. But at least Zelensky was able to go home and talk about a successful trip to plead for more weapons from the people who pushed this war on him.

Stupified by our own stupidity

I see where the latest off-broadway production in democracy theatre has ended its run. The Jan 6 show was an embarrassing attempt to promote the twin theses that a) America is a democracy, and b) Donald Trump remains a grave threat to said democracy. First of all, America's democracy bona fides are somewhat lacking. This is not democracy. This is a leadership clique comprised of the best and the brightest of career politicians and the best and the brightest in tech, academia, big business, and the military-industrial complex looking to curry favour. "Best and brightest" is of course a euphemism for best funded and favoured by the Davos crowd. In other words, the textbook definition of a fascist state. If the American public can't see that, what else can't they see? A lot of them haven't even figured out Trump is just part of the show. Nor have they figured out that the Zelensky fever that engulfed the free world these last 10 months has been a PR campaign of epic proportions, run by folks who otherwise might be coaxing you to buy a Toyota or a Big Mac. It's all PR and bullshit, folks, brought to you by the usual crowd of corrupt corporate lobbyists shilling for the Big Five defense contractors. The defence lobbyists even sponsored a party at the Ukr embassy in Washington last week. Why not? Ukraine's war has been an absolute bonanza for them! For Ukraine, not so much.

Count your blessings, not your grievances

It's sad how the default mode for too many of us has become that we focus on our grievances rather than our blessings. I see that in my own life, and more than likely you've been there too. You've been denied a promotion, or you didn't get that contract, or that grant, or that tenure-track opportunity... life's not fair! No, it isn't. But life is life, and you can fight it or make peace with it. Injustice abounds, and we must push back at every opportunity. At the same time, if you have a job that pays the bills, if you have a roof over your head, if you and yours enjoy decent health, remember to count your blessings too.

Every woman wants a man who sits down to pee

I gleaned that nugget of wisdom from the Farm Manager this evening. Apparently, men are notorious for spraying all over the place when they stand up to pee, and for some mysterious reason, linked in some unspecified way to patriarchy, it falls to women to clean the bathroom. It's not that mysterious unless the person cleaning the bathroom is also the person shovelling the driveway, mowing the lawn, etc. From my personal perspective, I find that as I get older, I need to pee more often, but it can take some time to get anything going. Who wants to stand there that long? So I take the opportunity to sit down and relax, and catch up on some of those Atlantic magazines that came the year my dear daughter got me an Atlantic subscription as a birthday gift. It's a win-win.

Something angry is blowing in

Stepped out on the stoop a moment ago, for a breath of fresh air, and the sky was raging. There's an angry wind blowing in. The prelude to a storm that promises us a good dose of freezing rain and snow over the next 48 hours. Then again, maybe the "angry wind blowing in" is just a metaphor for what's facing America in the not-too-distant future. The charade of American Democracy hangs by the thinnest of threads. As more Americans wake up and see what their country has become, support for the status quo will continue to diminish. American polls by American experts have proved time after time that Americans don't trust their major institutions, especially the media. Hope lives!

Progress marches on: soft-close toilet seats

Until this week, I had no idea there was such a thing as a soft-close toilet seat. Now I'm proud to say I own one! Perhaps I shouldn't be so boastful. Maybe they've been around for 20 years, and I'm not the early adapter I think. In my world, toilet seats were affixed with a couple of bolts. It was an exquisitely simple and elegant solution. The lid could be moved up or down according to the needs or preferences of the person doing their business. Problem was, when you dropped the seat, gravity took over, causing a jarring noise completely incompatible with a proper bathroom zen experience. Hence, the soft-close toilet seat. Alas, whilst installing this technical marvel, I couldn't help but notice that 2 bolts have been replaced by a "soft-close hinge" which has at least two dozen parts. Little bitty parts mostly made of plastic with some wee springs in there as well. What could go wrong? I suppose the good news is gravity will still be available when those itty-bitty springs lose their spring. The bad news? A society that invests money and brain-power on innovations such as the soft-close toilet seat, while its education and health-care systems are on the verge of collapse, is a society that has its priorities askew.

Zen, sh!t, and bathroom renos

It's been an up and down couple of days here at Falling Downs, largely on account of the impromtu bathroom reno I embarked on, what seems like six months ago. Yesterday I was close to a heart attack, or possibly a suicide attempt, when we suddenly found there was no water pressure, hence no water coming out the taps. I immediately assumed this calamity was on me. After all, I've been making "plumbing improvements" for several weeks now. Turns out a running toilet drained the water tank and one or the other of the electronic gizmos that regulate water pressure was out of breath. An hour later, having caught their breath, we were back in business! But I have to say, that was one of the most stressful hours in my life. I was calling around to find local motels that take Neopolitan mastiffs. And I was sweating bullets on breaking the news of my latest screw-up to the Farm Manager. That scare bumped "new toilet" to the top of the priority list. Headed in bright and early to pick up the new one the FM picked out at the Home Depot website. They allegedly had 24 of the favoured model in stock, aisle 34. An hour later, I'm back home. Picked up a Globe and Mail on the way and fixed myself breakfast. Then a leisurely read-through of the Globe. Pretty much a waste of $4.20. Around noon I thought I'd best get to the task at hand. No rush after all; right on the box of my Glacier Bay toilet it tells me it's a ten minute installation. I know that's bullshit. It's gonna take me at least an hour, maybe two. You gotta wonder how "Glacier Bay" became the name of a toilet brand. Obviously marketing experts were involved. Shlepped the 129 pound toilet into the house, only to discover, ten minutes into the unpacking, the toilet bowl was shattered! Back to Home Depot. A round trip runs over an hour just in drive time, plus however long you spend in the store. They were good about the refund. I go for another toilet. Find a worker to help me load it on the cart. I explain I just returned the one I bought this morning, and if he doesn't mind, could we open the box and make certain this one is intact. It was in multiple shards, way more shards than my first purchase. Third time lucky, I finally get the new unit back to Falling Downs around 2 pm. Ten minute installation? It was 8 by the time I advised the FM that she wouldn't have to pee in that 5 gal Home Depot bucket I picked up just in case. I know! Am I a sensitive guy or what? While this did mightily please the FM, it also brought me to higher levels of understanding and wisdom. I learned that the FM wants her bathroom to be a "zen space," which makes you feel good whenever you're there. To me, a bathroom is just a place to take a dump and have a shower. I felt more than enough zen in the old bathroom, even with the drippy taps and the running toilet.

Talking to Bev

When I was negotiating the sale of a couple of surplus parts cars to a scrap dealer, I was told to call Bev at the tow company. I call the number. A dude answers the phone. "Can I speak to Bev please." "This is Bev, how can I help you?" Momentary pause. "Oh sorry Bev, my mistake... " Next day Bev rolls up in a big drop-deck unit. He's a rotund middle age dude. I apologize again for having thoughtlessly misgendered him. "Sorry man. I guess it's like that Johny Cash song. Did having a girly name make you stronger?" "Actually, it worked out pretty good. When I was in high school, girls would tell their parents they're going to Bev's place to study for the test. That went way better for me than it did for any of my buddies."

What trading a basketball player for an arms dealer says about US-Russia power dynamics

What it says to me is that one side holds a significantly more potent hand than the other. This exchange is a symbolic manifestation of American decline. Americans generally won’t notice. After all, every American knows Putin is evil, and freeing a Black lesbian from the clutches of an evil homophobic dictator can be sold to the US public as a triumph of Western values. You know; democracy, human rights, freedom of speech… all that good stuff that our ruling elite squelch at home but promote abroad. PM Fluffy is all for anti-government protests in Iran and China, but God forbid, not in freedom-loving democratic Canada. By all accounts, the Russian arms dealer was a serious person. He made serious money arranging the delivery of serious weapons to a variety of the enemies of Western values, resistance groups all over the world. The American basketball player was just a basketball player. This exchange occurs in the shadow of the US/NATO-Russia war in Ukraine. Western media have assured us Ukraine has been winning this war since February. It is considered impolite in the American vassalsphere to question that fundamental truth. After all, we have been treated non-stop to reportage praising the many glorious imaginary victories of the UAF. They drove the Russians out of Kyiv and Kharkiv and Kherson. They have the momentum! Momentum or not, their geography has shrunk by 20% and their GDP by 40%. How is that “winning?” How is that momentum? Ukraine lost this war in February. The collective “West,” the aforementioned vassalsphere, orchestrated by Washington, has invested many billions of dollars in keeping it going. If our US masters, leaders of the “free world,” trade a basketball player for an international arms trafficker, I’m reading weakness on the cusp of disintegration. American exceptionalism and the empire it spawned are well past their stale date. Canadians should consider how tightly they want to tie their ship of state to an empire in obvious decline.

My kids already know I'm a slob, so why would I tidy up on their account?

The Farm Manager and I have found ourselves on opposite sides of the question; do you tidy the house when the kids are coming over? To me, the answer is clear and clear-cut. My kids know I'm a guy who has a jar of pickles and three bottles of beer in the fridge and nothing else. They know Dad's vacuum cleaner stalled out before they were born. They know Dad's place and they know Dad never puts on a show. What you see, three bottles of beer and a jar of pickles, is what you get. On top of a generous diet of KFC and Mickey D of course. On the other side, the FM will spend days tidying up the joint if kids are dropping in. Who does she think she's fooling?

Man electrocuted by heated car seat

The Owen Sound Sun-Times reports that one Gustav Wagner has succumbed to injuries from an electrical fire in his car. In a scenario reminiscent of Adam Sandler's famous song, "Piece of Shit Car," the seat springs poked him in the balls just as he experienced some routine bladder leakage on account of his enlarged prostrate. Unfortunately for Mr. Wagner, unlike in Adam Sandler's day, cars now come with "heated" seats. Electrified seats, in other words. Can you say "electric chair?" After reading that, you can bet I'm gonna pay the extra for the shock-proof adult diapers.

What World Cup fans in Doha have in common

Aside from being football fans, what they have in common is they can afford the discretionary expenditure of several thousand dollars. Even when they come from the poorest countries in the world, where the vast majority of the populations live in grinding poverty. That goes double for the many fans from the poorest countries, where folks live on $2 a day, who are chilling in Doha for the duration. They're spending tens of thousands, and often hundreds, to stay in five star hotels for the entire month of the competition. The World Cup may be the pinnacle of the beautiful game, but for those who actually found their way to Qatar this is just another circus for rich people. Another thing they have in common is they're not easily swayed by appeals to social justice. So Qatar cancels gays and treats foreign workers as slaves? No worries! The Beautiful People demand the show go on.

How to have fun while embracing decrepitude

My old pal Kipling gave a ring the other day, so we could coordinate the next breakfast at the Teviotdale truck stop. We got around to comparing notes on the toll the years are taking. He recently fell off a storage bin he was filling with firewood. Hasn't been able to lift his left arm over his head since. Time to let go of the dream of operating a muffler shop, I guess. For my part, between the eye surgery and the shakey hands, my bathroom reno looks way different than the last bathroom reno I did 30 years ago. It's taking three times as long too. You mighta been a git-r-done kinda guy somewhere in the past, if only in your imagination, but once the get up and go has got up and left it seems to take forever to get nothing much done. So where's the fun in all this? "Fun" is perhaps too glib a word. But you can get a lot of satisfaction out of staying the course, never giving up, learning from your mistakes, keeping your nose to the grindstone and the pedal to the metal, and 101 other cliches. Point is, at our age we win just by being here, so let the fun times roll... Savor and celebrate! Just book your hip replacement early.

Lesson #1 for the elderly: never trust a fart

You know you're getting old when you can't trust a fart. Time was, you could rip 'em forth on demand. Farting was, at root, a competitive sport, at least for guys. I saw this play out during my career as a high-school sports coach. Take a bus trip with the boys soccer team, and the lads were constantly one-upping one another with the lethality of their farts. On the girls bus they didn't fart half as much, and when they did, it didn't smell near as bad. So you grow up confident in your ability to fart at will. You can even use a well-timed fart to make a political statement. Drop something silent but violent at the next all-candidates meeting just when the Green candidate is speaking and see what happens. I'm pretty sure that's what derailed their last couple of leadership hopefulls. Then you get old. You find yourself in a place where farting isn't just fun and games anymore. You're at that all-candidates meeting thinking you're making a political statement, and whoopsie... What's that running down my leg?

I bought a bathtub faucet with 25 pages of instructions

And I never read instructions till all else has failed. We could be in a heap 'o shit here, depending on how things play out. To be fair, it's a bit more than a bathtub faucet. At the heart of it is a substantial brass casting with four connections coming out. Right away I recognize we're in stupid land here, because there's utterly no sound reason to have more than two connections into a faucet, those being the hot and the cold. Anything more is mere status signalling. But if you want a sharp looking shower/tub combo that'll help you keep up with the Jones's, or the Kardashians, you gotta upgrade from the basics. Hence the 25 pages of instructions.

I'm a sixty-year-old woman and I know an asshole when I meet one

I heard those words from the Farm Manager recently. She was referring to a gentleman of our recent acquaintance. Apparently he's got a bad case of toxic masculinity going on. Which could well be the case. I'm a bit up in the air myself over the toxicity of my masculinity, such as it is, and therefore a poor judge of either masculinity or toxicity. Be that as it may, it's very refreshing to hear a sixty-year-old woman assert her asshole-detection skills. And by God, they start honing those skills at a young age, do they not? Remember in grade 3 when you pelted the girl you liked with snowballs at recess? That's an eight-year-old boy showing affection, but that's toxic masculinity right there. That's in grade three. You can imagine how much you've seen and what it looks like by the time you're sixty.

Piss 'n vinegar

You gotta wonder where that saying came from. If it came from someone literally pissing vinegar, I imagine that would sting. You wouldn't want to be pissing too much vinegar for too long. But what is more likely, is our piss 'n vinegar shout-out went to someone building a brand. "Full of piss and vinegar" came to mean a youthfull go-getter who was on track to make something of themselves. There's not an official P&V rating system, but a lot of these folks show up on your "top 40 under 40" lists. They're not so much youthfull go-getters as they are establishment ass-kissers.

The zen of plumbing

The monumentally (emphasis on "mental") ill-advised mission to refit the bathroom continues. Regular readers will recall that this adventure began with a well-intentioned attempt to repair a drippy faucet. Things went from drippy faucet to bathroom armeggedon right quick. But at least we finally got rid of the last galvanized water pipe in this 100 year plus farm house. Today the new bathtub arrived at the end of the drive, a mere three days after the three week delivery window specified in the sales contract. Whatever. At least it's on site now, and I can get on with its precise placement and the fitting of faucets, drains, etc. Back in the old days, I would have called a plumber. But I'm retired now. I got a lotta time on my hands, and I need things to occuppy my time that don't include a screen and a keyboard. Plumbing is actually a necessary condition for civilization, and it should be treated as such. It needs a lot more respect. Pipes that make your sinks work and your toilet flush are the fulcrum on which civilization teeters. If you didn't have plumbing and plumbers, the coders and the programmers and the experts would have to live somewhere else. Either that, or figure out how to install a toilet. Or a bathtub, in my case.

Are the homeless stealing your Amazon Prime deliveries off your porch?

I was at the dog park with Big-Lips Bruno the other day, and was eavesdropping on a couple of gals discussing the matter. Cooper's mom, (Cooper is a handsome shepherd-something cross) was confiding to Karma's mom (Karma is a beautiful American boxer) that she had purchased a new computer. She needed to be home for the day of delivery to make sure the local ravine dwellers didn't bugger off with her new laptop. To which Karma's mom rejoinders that in her neighbourhood, the ravine dwellers grab her shit as soon as it's delivered, to make sure nobody steals it. When she gets home they deliver it back to her in return for a modest tip or a meal. I'm with Karma's mom on this one.

Uncle Sam takes Europe down the garden path

If you heard the words of that tedious mediocrity Borrell recently, you'll appreciate the garden reference. I’m aware my take on the Ukraine war doesn’t follow the mainstream template. Putin desperate to reconstitute a Russian empire? Nah… far more likely; a desperate American empire hoping against all evidence to maintain the status quo. The usual mainstream experts, every one of whom has a vested interest in promoting a particular narrative, have been telling us since February Ukraine is winning the war. The reason they keep telling us that is because America’s rep is on the line here. The entire point of Uncle Sam’s Ukrainian adventure, aside from further enriching the usual suspects, is to demonstrate to the world that the World Boss is still the world boss. That’s been a hard sell ever since the Greatest Military of All Time folded the tent in Afghanistan. Having lost a twenty year battle with semi-literate religious fanatics, Uncle Sam decided to reclaim his mojo by taking on Russia and China. After all, those are autocratic bad-guy states, and America leads the democratic and free world, and therefore we must ensure freedom, democracy, human rights, and US hegemony prevail. This battle for the preservation of America’s global leadership is playing out far away from America’s borders. It’s playing out in Europe. How and why European elites have bought into this scenario is another matter, but this is where we’re at. When Europe realizes the price they’re paying in the battle to preserve American exceptionalism, there may be some hard feelings. No where more than in Ukraine. No less an authority than Henry Kissinger once opined that to be America’s adversary is dangerous, but being America’s friend is deadly.

Drunk Polish farmer blows up load of fertilizer with stray ciggy butt, international incident ensues

The news channels are abuzz with Russia's missile attack on Poland. Al Jazeera has offereed extensive footage of the missile strike zone. If that was the handiwork of the Rooskies, they must have used their smallest missiles. All I see is a farm wagon tipped over, but still attached to the tractor that was towing it at the time of the missile strike. The tractor does not appear to be damaged. What's more likely is there was an unfortunate farm accident in Poland, and it is being used as a talking point to fan WWIII flames. "Oh my God Putin has attacked a NATO member and now they gotta invoke Article 5." Well, even if it was a deliberate Russian missile attack on a remote Polish cornfield, nobody is actually obliged to invoke A 5, and despite the war-whoops coming from the Baltic midgets, there's no chance of Article 5 invocation any time soon.

Canada to lead world in affordable housing

The Globe & Mail informs us this morning that “Ukrainian newcomers face housing challenges.” I’m shocked! Who could have seen that coming? If the white, blonde, and Christian Ukrainians are having difficulties, what of the Somalis, Nigerians, Guatemalans etc. wandering across the border at Roxham Road? And this is before we welcome any of the million new immigrants scheduled to arrive over the next three years. Clearly, our political elite are fashioning a housing crisis of epic proportions. It’s not that the politicians are unaware. There’s not an election cycle goes by at the local, provincial or federal level that leadership candidates don’t regale us with their plans to address the housing crisis. The problem is that our political class conflates talking about problems with solving them. We’ve been refitting our frigate fleet for over ten years. No new frigates on the horizon yet. Ditto fighter aircraft, military helicopters, the government payroll system, and on and on. Talk is cheap; doing stuff costs money. (Although I did learn in today’s paper that MPs are keen to spend $250 millions on a parliamentary tunnel system that will allow them to escape the pitchfork-wielding mobs they expect will visit Ottawa with increasing frequency going forward.) Point is, we can’t live in a politician’s promise. It’s time for action! And what better place to start than that over-looked housing option already favored by many thousands of Canadians; the dumpster. You’ve no doubt passed many of them without even realizing that, especially after dark, these rubbish bins also serve as accommodations. But first we’ll have to destigmatize dumpster living. What self-respecting refugee wants to move to Canada to live in a trash bin? To that end, I’m working on a proto-type 20 yard bin that will have all the comforts of home; fridge, microwave, wi-fi, and composting toilet. What else does anyone need? Once folks see how cozy and economical dumpster living can be, Canada could become a world leader in affordable housing!

Fighting over pizza crusts in democracy's dumpster

Like I mentioned before, it’s hard to find fresh vegetables in a dumpster. Odds are a lot better for pizza crusts and chicken bones. You’d be amazed how much meat gets left on the bones in a barrel of KFC. The world’s greatest democracy treated us to a display of exceptionalism the other day. Democracy in action! Talk about dumpster diving. Does anyone actually believe the trajectory of American Exceptionalism is in any way impacted by the Nov. 8 staging of The Greatest Show on Earth? Biden won because he didn’t lose worse. Trump lost even though he wasn’t running for anything. Democracy won because Biden didn’t lose bigger. America’s face to the world will look exactly the same as it did before. And although miscreants like myself fail to see the appeal of “the American way,” it obviously inspires the world. Ukrainians are willingly, even joyfully, sacrificing themselves for the greater glory of American hegemony, on which the Glory of Ukraine is completely dependent. Across Europe, the man in the street is delighted to make sacrifices for Uncle Sam’s “rules-based-order.” That’s where 800 US military bases in foreign lands impose order according to whatever rules Uncle Sam favors at the moment. (Spoiler alert; Uncle Sam’s rules tend to favor Uncle Sam’s posse.) But it’s all hunky-dory, because if you don’t have freedom and democracy, you got nuthin’. And that’s what keeps me going on a bad day in the dumpster. After a few hours a Little Caesars “hot ‘n ready” is neither hot nor ready. But that’s a small price to pay to live in a democracy. At least we have freedom of speech.

A Black and an Indian climb in the dumpster behind Safeway

Only to find there's already three white dudes in there, scooping up not-so-fresh produce to take home to their families in the tent encampment on the sidewalk a couple blocks away. A discussion immediately breaks out on the theme of representation. The minority claims white privilege enabled the whites to get to the dumpster first. The whites reply they're actually under-represented in the dumpster, thanks to anti-white racism made respectable through quotas and affirmative action. Then one of the white guys, who used to be a Sociology Professor at Phoenix University when Bill Clinton was Chancellor, pointed out the proverbial "elephant in the room." Why are real Indians from India so woefully under-represented in dumpsters, food banks, prisons, and sidewalk campgrounds? By golly, we got us a real sociological mystery here, and I'm gonna get to the bottom of it! I'll be applyng for a government grant to study the matter.

Sharkbit

Last time I did any plumbing work around the place, about 15 years ago, I ran my water lines with copper. Real honest-to-god metal on metal connections you made with a torch. That made it essential to get your measurements right. Thanks to the march of progress, it is now possible to make those water line connections without a torch or copper pipe. All you do is stab your plastic pipe into a Sharkbite connector. They're pricey compared to copper connections, but they are simple to attach and detach and are completely re-usable. I fell for the pitch. I made decisions in my bathroom renovation that were kinda based on "if that doesn't work, the connection is easy to undo." Turns out that was a lie. They sell you this stupid little tool for three bucks that's supposed to release the plastic pipe out of the Sharkbit fitting. I took it back and complained. They sold me a twelve dollar tool that works. Did I get my three bucks back for the tool that didn't work? Nope! Sharkbit.

In the post-capitalism post-NATO-Russia-War barter economy, you better have more to trade than your ass

There remains a slim hope that so-called world leaders and their minions, the multitudes of technocrats, political consultants, expert advisors, yes-people, deputies, assistants, frat brothers, ex-lovers, etc., who rule the "free" world know what they're doing. A slim hope, but maybe it's time to give serious thought to the worst case scenario. In the worst case scenario, the shit (American Exceptionalism and all it entails), will sooner or later hit the fan (global disgust with the current world order imposed by the shit). After our billionaire-owned governments collapse, along with the dollar, where are you gonna be at? Unless you've got something to sell or trade, you'll be screwed. If you're living on a government job or a government cheque, life as you've known it is over. Need food? The supermarkets have all been looted and the supply chains trashed. Wanna eat? Head for the country. Folks out there grow FOOD! Alas, with the dollar worthless, what do you have that you can trade to the country folks for the meat and potatoes or rice and beans you need to feed your family? I have a wood-worker friend who makes wooden wagon wheels. There's a lot of Amish communities still use those. They're an integral part of the Amish supply chain. Buddy and his extended family will be dining large as long as he can produce wagon wheels! That'll be generally true for everyone who can provide a product or service people need. Underneath the manifold layers of bureaucracy and parasitic grifting that have destroyed Western civilization, there remains the beating heart of the real economy. That's where people do real stuff; drill wells, dig mines, build homes, grow food, cook food, fix cars, cut hair, and so on. If you've got something to contribute to community survival, you'll be fine. If the only asset you've got is your ass, you're gonna be in trouble. Supply and demand rule in the barter economy, and everybody has an ass. Get yourself some real skills that can't be done from home on your lap-top, and you'll be headed in the right direction.

Jews and Ukraine

I find it hard to believe, given Ukraine's WW2 historical record, that there can be such a thing as a Jewish Ukrainian nationalist. Yet, that is precisely what we are expected to believe. How could there be Nazi's in Ukraine when they elected a Jewish president? Sure. What I find far more plausible is that there might be Jews with historical memories who seek the destruction of Ukraine. Manipulating Ukraine into a catastophic war might be a means to that end. That's exactly what Ihor Kolomoisky has pulled off. He was one of the leading oligarchs plundering Ukraine since independence, and has been Zelensky's sponsor from way back when the Z-man was just another B-list porn star wanna be. Kolomoisky was a media mogul who saw Zelensky's star potential. It's curious that you seldom read anything about him in our mass media. He lives safely in Israel because they never extradite a citizen anywhere for any reason. When you look at what's happening to Ukraine today, you'd almost think someone's revenge dream of destroying the country has come true.

I start my day at Home Depot

At least since the plumbing emergency hit us four days ago. I think there's been good progress. Had water restored to the bathroom by Monday. Unfortunately, I couldn't feed it into anything. More info required, more YouTube videos to watch, and more trips to Home Depot. The trouble with Home Depot is it's an hour round trip. Every other place I lived was withing five minutes of a decent hardware store. Now I'm seeing the other side of country living. Four trips to the hardware store is four hours of your time and a tank of gas before you get the right parts. There is of course an obvious alternative; get the right parts on the first trip. But that's not always possible, especially when you don't know what you're doing and are learning on the go.

It all started with a drippy faucet

I've been ignoring the drippy bathtub faucet for years. It's not really that drippy. But according to the Farm Manager, even a modest amount of drippage stains the tub, and how can anyone exist in the modern world with bathtub stains. You can imagine how enthusiastic I'd be to act on such flawed impluses, but unfortunately those impulses never go away, and I found myself last Thursday shopping for a new bathtub faucet. I was mightily impressed with how quickly I resolved the years-long dilema of the drippy faucet. In the space of a couple hours I had a shiny new faucet installed, and no drips! That's where I should have left things. But no. I was pumped. I was filled with can-do overconfidence. Overcome with optomism. That should always be a red flag. While I'd solved the big drip, there were also some very minor ones coming from the taps. Why not tackle them while I'm on a roll. By noon of Friday I'm having a heart to heart with the plumbing expert at Home Hardware. He's never seen the type of tap hardware I brought in to show him first-hand the results of my attempted washer change. He thought I was looking for the county museum! By noon Saturday I've got a brand new Milwakee grinder in hand with a cutting disc on, and I'm chopping up the last 20 ft of galvanized pipe. By now the old bathtub is out the end of the lane with "free scrap" scribbled on the side. It'll be gone in a couple of days. Meanwhile, I'm studying hard whether to go PEX or copper on my new water lines. The FM is busy finding possible bathtubs on the internet. That's a lot of stresss that could have been avoided by leaving well enough alone.

Globe & Mail finds a fascist in Ukraine - but he's Canadian

Every year on January 1st, Ukrainians gather in their thousands to celebrate the birthday of Stepan Bandera, the notorious Nazi collaborator and Ukrainian patriot whose followers murdered tens of thousands of Ukrainian Jews during the WWII. Every year the Israeli embassy doth protest, but it's always the same old come next January. When Putin announced the "Special Military Operation" intended to "denazify" Ukraine, the thought leaders at the Globe poured scorn on the idea that there could be such a thing as nazis in Ukraine. Pure fantasy, they proclaimed. How could there be facsists in a country that elected a Jewish president? Well, their own team of journos found a facsist in a pub in Kyiv. Was he goose-stepping around the joint sieg heiling the glory of Ukraine? No, he was ranting about his hatred for... Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau! Who can imagine such a thing? A Canadian sullying Ukraine's nazi-free reputation! We, and even moreso the Ukrainians, should be outraged. PM Fluffy obviously needs to do more to rein in Canadian fascists.

Canada's leading newspaper spreading Russian propaganda

If you’ve been following the Globe and Mail's coverage of the war in Ukraine, you’ll know that it’s mostly a non-stop stream of pro-Ukranian propaganda. Fascists in Ukraine? Nothing but Russian disinformation. Putin has been increasingly cornered and desperate since early March, when he first started running out of missiles. His army is poorly trained, under-equipped, and in disarray. At every turn, we are assured that just a few more months and a few billions more in weapons and every square inch of Ukraine will be free again. Today we get a report from Chief Internet Correspondent Mark MacKinnon, who has been on the ground at the front, and if not the “front” per se, then at least in a pub in Kyiv. There he encountered a “tattoo-covered Canadian fighter, who drunkenly gave several fascist salutes in the middle of a Kyiv pub while talking loudly about his hatred for Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.” Sounds like the guy they were looking for at the Ottawa trucker’s protest. He was in Ukraine all along! But seriously, Mark, it sounds like you’re parroting Putin’s talking points. Unless the only fascists in Ukraine are the Canadian volunteers. Later in the story, we meet another Canadian fighter, a CAF vet with combat experience in Afghanistan, who had this to say about his front line experience in Ukraine; “We don’t have air support here. We don’t have direct fire support. If I want to call in artillery here, I’m talking like in six or twelve hours I might get some artillery support.” Indeed. Pushing the Russians back for the past eight months without air cover or artillery support is a miracle of the highest order! Clearly, just a little more time and a few more billions in Western armaments, and Ukraine will be whole again!

The Coyote choir

As you know, I'm a guy who spends way too much time on the internet. Yessiree, I gotta check the CBC news and the CNN news and the Fox news, and then I head on over to the news NewsGuard doesn't approve. I'm tangled up bad in that world wide web. It can make your head spin. That's why I have to head out to the stoop for a breath of fresh air once in awhile. I was just out there. The coyotes are singing. I have a hunch they'll still be singing when we're long gone.

Welcome to WW 3

If you’re in the “Western World,” the “Free World,” or more simply just the American bloc, ie USA-EU-NATO plus the cling-ons, you know the score. The free world of liberal democracies is standing up against the autocrats who intend to upend the rule of law and the established world order. The cabal of freedom-denying tyrants seeks to subvert the natural order of the universe by declining to take direction from Washington. Hence, we now have a war in Ukraine, wherein that former nation-state agreed to be the sacrificial lamb in the struggle to preserve America’s freedom to write “the rules of law.” Our free press assures us daily the tyrant is taking a beating at the hands of the defenders of liberal democracy. Putin has been pushed back since February and a glorious victory for Ukraine is just around the next corner of another multi-billion aid package, courtesy of the taxpayers of like-minded democracies. In the meantime, after eight months of pushing Putin back, the lights are out across Ukraine. There’s no way a defeated Putin could have done that without… IRANIAN DRONES!! And that’s where our media masters manage to bring another rogue DC-denying nation into the picture. We’re not just fighting Putin, we’re fighting Iran too. Welcome to the foothills of WW 3. How much further humanity scales the adjacent peaks is going to depend a lot on we in the free world waking up. The Iranians are bemused and flattered that after 40+ years of relentless sanctioning by the American bloc, they are deemed capable of producing something Russia can’t produce itself. All those years wasted on hypersonic missile development, and what Russia really needed was gasoline powered drones with lawn-mower engines. Not likely, but that’s the tale our media spin us, just to keep us sympatico with the next hundred million for Ukraine. After all, it takes a lot of master-class bullshitting to convince the general public that’s a good investment of tax dollars. Every single country in that American bloc has extensive needs at home that are being denied because America demands they “stand with Ukraine.” The reality is that every issue that is being fought over now, was settled by the Minsk Accords eight years ago. It was Ukraine, at America’s prodding, that failed to implement that peace agreement. And here we are. If we in “The West” don’t wake up to the bullshit our governments and our “free press” have been hosing us with, WW 3 will be taking us to new heights soon.

First snowfall of the season at Falling Downs

I stepped out on the stoop for a breath of fresh air a moment ago, and sure enough... snow! Summer is over. I shoulda seen it coming. No action at the hummingbird feeder for a couple of weeks now. I saw a gaggle of Blue Herons heading south the other day. The flying "V" formations of Canada Geese are well on their way the Carolinas, there to befoul the beaches until next April. And I suddenly remembered I meant to get the snow-blower going over the summer... Thank God I've still got that snow shovel.

Gather round chillin and let Grampa tell ya a tale of what used to be

Gather round, children, and let Grampa tell you a tale of what used to be. In what used to be Canada’s industrial heartland, southern Ontario, folks who worked in factories used to own their own homes. Real homes, not condos. Places where you could have a garden. Not only could factory workers afford homes with yards, cars and the attached garage to park them in, but from the steel mills of Hamilton to the factories of Galt, Kitchener, and Guelph, you could find folks who held season tickets. Most often you’d have a group go in on a pair of seats. Everybody gets a few home games, and then you’d have to sort things out at play-off time. Mind you, that hasn’t been an issue pretty much since the early Ballard era. I’ve a hunch there’s no factory workers holding season tickets to the Leafs in 2022. In fact, when I tour the industrial areas of Guelph today, I notice many of the key factories have been repurposed. Instead of one employer with a thousand well-paying jobs, you've got two dozen start-ups paying minimum wage. Used to be, the work-force would head to the parking lot at quitting time. Now they head to the bus stop. As our standard of living goes down the shitter, let us take solace in the fact that our demise is good for the environment. Happy trails!

Why old people talk to their cats

I was just having a talk with Doublewide, trying to explain there wasn't enough dog drool in the water-bowl to merit a complete tip-and-refill. Not that I'm "old" yet, but I'm beginning to realize I'm getting there. Fast. The older I get, the more I find myself conversing with the cat. Sure, I've got the Farm Manager and the dog to talk to. And I do. And they care. But unless it's about a pressing issue like dog drool in the water-bowl, the cat could not be less concerned about your concerns.

We're about to gift Haiti another dose of "democracy and human rights"

Canada has been building democracy and freedom in Haiti for decades. We are so pumped to bring freedom and democracy to Haiti that we have twice connived in the removal of its democraticaly elected president. Yes, democracy works in mysterious ways. It's that old "destroy the village to save it" conundrum, and it crops up wherever the Nations of Virtue are attempting to spread democracy, human rights, capitalism, and freedom. Since the last time we overthrew their democracy, the Haitians have only grown more restive. Gangs have taken over. They are now threatening the rule of the illegitimate PM who orchestrated the assassination of the previous illegitimate PM. Those savages just can't figure it out! So now the gangs have taken over, and once again the US and Canada will have to move in to restore order. Canada has forwarded an advance shipment of armoured personnel carriers, much to the consternation of our Ukrainian ally, who figure they are entitled to first dibs on Canadian military hardware. Sorry, Mr. Zelensky. You may be fighting Putin, but in Haiti, they're fighting GANGS!

Woke for Peace

While I’ve enjoyed lampooning the idiocy implicit in wokery, I have to admit there might be an upside. The Toronto Star had an interview with General Wayne Eyre, top banana at the Canadian Armed Forces, in its Sunday paper. He was bemoaning the fact the CAF are short 10,000 uniformed personnel. In an attempt to make a CAF career more welcoming, he’s recently loosened up dress regs so the lads can wear skirts and makeup if the urge hits. In the interview, he extolls the CAF’s embrace of diversity, and can’t figure out why he can’t find 10,000 fresh recruits, kids who just want to obey orders. Dude, the folks who sign up for your diversity agenda aren’t likely to be keen on following orders! That would seem to be common sense, but you don’t see much of that at National Defence these days. A goodly slice of the civilian bureaucracy thinks the CAF’s top priorities should be rooting out systemic racism and misogyny. And while that’s commendable, it might not be quite the rallying point you’d want to base your esprit-de-corps on, at least if you’re expecting your military to give up their lives to defend the nation. As a life-long pacifist, I take comfort in the fact that our armed forces will soon consist of cross-dressers who don’t follow orders. I’m woke for peace!

More joys of getting older

Now that summer has given way to autumn, my perch on the stoop has given way to the couch in front of the fireplace. I have to negotiate my spot on the couch with Bruno Big-Lips, our Italian mastiff. "Ok Bruno, I'm so sorry, but please just scrunch over a teeny bit, please... pretty please." When I'm not negotiating with the dog, I'm apologizing to the cat. Doublewide mewls at me every time I walk through the kitchen. "I'm sorry love, what do you need? Treats? Fresh water? A belly rub? I'm so sorry..." When I was younger, my pets knew who was boss. Now I'm just an old fart, wandering about the house, apologizing to the pets, who are enjoying my "golden years" much more than I am.

Chrystia Freeland's brain farts don't add up to a "doctrine"

Deputy PM and Finance Minister Chrystia Freeland dropped by Brookings Institution the other day to share her thoughts on this perilous new world Putin ushered in with his “barbaric violation” of international norms last February. Brookings is the grand-daddy of US think-tanks, and very rich. In the course of her introductory remarks, acting Brookings President Amy Liu thanked Chrystia for funding from the Government of Canada. I was surprised to learn my tax dollars were going to a US think-tank cum PR outfit sitting on well over half a billion USD. Her talk was the predictable nothing-burger one expects from Chrystia. Lots of gratuitous trash talk aimed at “autocrats” generally and Putin in particular. Repeated shout-outs to the heroism of the Ukrainian people. And lots of Green Transition hot air, as any progressive pol must include in every speech these days Most of all, it was a pastiche of talking points out of the recycling bin of US propaganda. After the fall of the Berlin wall and the collapse of the Soviet Union, a “sunny season” embraced humanity. For thirty years we were fat and happy and pretty much the entire world was marching towards Liberal Democracy. Then, in the early hours of Feb. 24, Putin wrecked everything! Yup, in one fell swoop, Putin destroyed humanity’s sunny season and took the planet all the way back to the 19th century. Pretty much what you’d expect from our deputy PM, and what you’d expect a Brookings audience to applaud. None of these people pause to consider what that thirty years of sunshine looked like from the perspective of the global south. That thirty years of sunshine saw Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, Somalia, Syria, and Yugoslavia destroyed by the freedom-and-democracy-loving Nations of Virtue. In every case we promised paradise but delivered destruction. Chrystia divided her cliches into “three pillars” of the way forward. We must strengthen our interdependence with fellow Liberal Democracies. Translation: cling ever more tightly to Uncle Sam’s skirts. We must remain welcoming to “undecided” nations. Sorry to break it to you, Chrystia, but if you care to look, there’s not a lot of those around. The vast majority of the Global South wants no part in this mission to save American hegemony. We must remain resolute in our determination to isolate and defeat tyranny, starting with Putin, and that means standing with Ukraine for as long as it takes. In a nutshell, the Freeland Doctrine is just more of the same old same old the rest of the world is beyond fed up with. That’s a far better summary of Chrystia’s visit to Brookings than you’ll find at CBC, another recipient of my tax dollars. The think-tank here at Falling Downs proposes that our government cease squandering tax revenues on vanity projects and put the money into addressing the many crises enveloping our society.

Why Canadians get Thanksgiving six weeks early

It’s Canadian Thanksgiving. Our American cousins have to wait another six weeks or so before they celebrate. They usually lard it up with lots of sporting “Thanksgiving traditions” as in this year’s NFL Thanksgiving Day triple-header on November 24. Oddly enough, that day is also the 9 month anniversary of Putin’s totally unprovoked and brutal invasion of Ukraine. We can be sure that half-time shows on NFL broadcasts on November 24 will regale us with reminders of Ukraine’s valorous resistance to Putin. A fly-by of F-35s in blue and yellow, perhaps? Which brings me to the distinction between Canadian and American Thanksgiving. The reason we Canadians give thanks six weeks sooner is we obviously have more to be thankful for. For example, unlike us, the Yanks are fated by destiny to be the LEADERS of something called the “free world.” How they can plausibly claim to lead such a thing when they have by a wide margin the highest rate of incarceration in the entire world, not just the “free” one, is a mystery to me. Fortunately, with the exception of a few over-wrought pundits at CBC and the Globe, nobody in Canada imagines we “lead” anything of consequence anywhere. Oh, the Lima Group, perhaps! Yup, that Random Guido episode was a real credit to our international profile! We also have our national public health care system to be thankful for. For all its flaws, the fact that our Covid mortality rate is one quarter that of our free market neighbors counts for something. Finally, let us not forget gun control. As a middle-aged guy with two ex-wives and a few near-misses, I’m thrilled that an angry person can’t just walk into Home Hardware and buy the tool that will blow my brains out. On this Canadian Thanksgiving, let’s celebrate the fact we’re not Americans.

Why white lives matter to Yeezy

Shouldn't be hard to figure out. The musician/artist/businessman/provocateur once known as Kanye West is a billionaire. Like all billionaires, he demands the very best in professional support staff. Accountants, tax lawyers, financial advisors, PR professionals, you name it. It takes a village to raise a billionaire. Tragically, those are all fields where white lives matter. They matter because systemic racism has kept Black people out of those professions. That's why white lives matter. Unfortunately for Yeezy, stating this obvious truth out loud has landed him in a whole heap 'o doo-doo. His Addidas partnership is under review. Oh my God, I better hustle to the mall and get me a pair of $800 Yeezy sneakers while there's still time! Some outraged wokeling writing in the New York Times informs me that no less an authority than the ADL has determined "white lives matter" is hate speech, so we all need to hate Yeezy now for uttering hate speech. I'm not convinced. I've got a better reason to hate Yeezy. Look up some footage from his Paris show and check out his actual fashions. That shit sucks! I don't think there's anything there that a self-respecting person would wear in public, unless they lost a bet or something. If you have to hate on Yeezy, hate him for his crimes against good taste.

OPEC blows Brandon a big fat raspberry

“Every ten years or so, the United States needs to pick up some small crappy little country and throw it against the wall, just to show the world we mean business." - Michael Ledeen, advisor to presidents and American thought leader That quote succinctly summarizes American hubris as experienced by much of the rest of the world over the past 150 years. To the surprise of nobody except the Americans, the rest of the world has noticed. That’s why Mr. Biden has had no luck convincing America’s “friends and allies” among oil producers to increase production. He’s facing mid-terms imminently, and the American electorate get right grumpy about $6/gallon gas no matter how many crappy little countries their military has thrown against the wall lately. The Saudis can’t help. The Mexicans can’t help. The UAE can’t help, even after that beauty peace deal young Kushner gifted them with Israel. The Venezuelans aren’t interested, even with the promise of sanctions relief. Maybe they recall how hard the Americans worked to throw them against the wall. In fact, pretty much the only country willing to ship more gas to the US is Canada, and we’re coming to the rescue as fast as we can. Just a few more decades to sort out those pesky Indigenous land claims, and then a few more to build the infrastructure, and we’ll be there with bells on! All of this because America convinced its EU allies to destroy the Russian economy by boycotting Russian oil. Less oil on the market - prices go up! Who knew? Until yesterday the Americans imagined they had enough clout with OPEC to coerce a production increase. Instead, the vile ingrates did the opposite of what Biden requested, scaling back production by 2 million bbls per day. Meanwhile, how is that Russian economic collapse shaping up? It’s starting to look like Russia may have more friends in the world than we imagined, and it’s the Americans who are increasingly isolated.

RIP John Goobie

My piano teacher passed. Dear Beth, Valerie, Vincent, and Pam; wishing you peace of heart, mind, and soul at this time. Sincerely, Dieter Neumann

Zelensky; the kind of leader who doesn't wince at the rattle of a machine-gun

What a Churchill! None other than Alan Dershowitz nominated him for the Nobel PP. But then Al had to go write an op-ed in the Wall Street Journal calling out the Z-man for his claims that the Ukrainian nation "saved Jews" during the Holocaust. Ya, Zelensky was a comedian before he was a Churchill. How about that Dershowitz, eh? I'd thought he'd lowered his standards when he joined the Trump defence team, but I just took a gander at his Wikipedia page, and the guy's been defending world-class shit-bags his entire career! Everybody from Leona Helmsley to OJ Simpson! And he's pretty good at it too! But I digress. Suffice it to say, if Zelensky wins this war, the Dersh-man will be on Putin's defence team at the war crimes trials. If Putin wins this war. the Dersh-o-nator will be on Zelensky's defense team at the war crimes trials. Either way. he's gonna be in the headlines for years to come. So who is winning this war? Zelensky has been pushing the Russians back since February. Putin is losing so bad he just held bogus referendums and annexed 100,000 sq. km. of Ukraine. But the forces of GOOD are forcing the bad guys back all over the place. With just a few more months and a few more billions in weapons, victory is assured! Weapons weapons weapons!!! Billions billions billions!!! Sure glad I bought into that Carlyle Group Defence Portfolio when I did!

Outrage as Iranian woman dies in police custody

Canadians have taken to the streets in their tens of thousands, demanding accountability from the Iranian government over the death of Mahsa Amini. PM Trudeau and FM Joly have called for regime change in Tehran, because it is utterly unacceptable that in this day and age a woman can be taken into custody and just turn up dead. These are sure to be the biggest protests in Canada since tens of thousands took to the streets demanding justice for Amanda Bolt, Debra Chrisjohn, Tamara Lucier, or Celine Samuel. Oh wait… those women died in police custody in Canada. No protests then… my bad! Turns out women die in police custody with predictable regularity in Canada. The latest just made the news yesterday. Where is the outrage? Where are the demos? Where are the politicians clamoring for regime change and sanctions? We’re quite the sanctimonious lot, we Canadians.

Putin against the Eurotards

I saw Ursula on Al Jazeera, threatening grave consequences for those phony referenda, or referendums if you prefer, that Putin imposed on the occupied territories. To no one’s surprise, the referenda revealed that another 15% of Ukraine will become Russian. Cue the outrage! But what will the EU do about it? Ursula has the answer; sanctions! Didn’t they try that already? And how is that strategy faring out? Not too bad for Putin and not too good for the EU, from what I can see. If more of the same is the best we got, maybe it’s time to fold the tent. Meanwhile, how is Liz Truss doing in making GB great again? Oh, I see the pound just hit an all-time low against the dollar… And she’s hardly two weeks in! God only know where this imbecile will take us. It’s Putin against the Eurotards. My money’s on Putin.

Russian ruble only major currency outperforming USD

That's quite a head-scratcher given that six months ago all the talk was about how we were crushing Russia's economy with sanctions from hell. Back in March, a Russian had to fork over 140 rubles to buy one US dollar. Today he can buy that USD for a mere 58 rubles. Meanwhile, if you follow currency markets you'll know that the USD is rising fast against all major Western currencies, including the CAD, simply because in volatile times cash seeks a safe haven. Obviously, a lot of folks are operating on muscle memory if they still seriously see the USD as a safe haven. Reality has changed, but trading habits haven't. Yet. But they will. America's economic dominance was always backed up by military dominance. The "military dominance" theory took a sever beating in Aghanistan, and Ukraine isn't looking that great. In the real world, both America's economic and military dominance are coming to an end. The share of global trade done outside the USD is growing exponentially. Buy rubles!

Tards 'o terror back in the news

John Nuttall and Amanda Korody were arrested in 2013 on terror charges as sensational as they were dubious. The RCMP invested many millions in trying to secure terror convictions against these two alleged jihadists. The entire episode smelled so fake that eventually even the jury at their trial concluded that our hapless terrorists were nothing more than victims of an RCMP witch hunt. Nine years later, an enterprising CBC journo has resurrected their story. Seems they now have a legal team and are suing for millions. I hope they win. Here’s one of the posts I wrote on the topic during their trial in 2015. TARDS 'o TERROR Seldom have as inept a pair of would-be terrorists been paraded before the public as the reason we should all be afraid... very afraid! Afraid to the point where we'll gladly give up what little privacy we have left so that Big Steve's Bill C-51 can keep us safe from harm. Die-hard Islamic jihadists John Nuttall and Amanda Korody couldn't keep themselves in groceries, jobs, apartments, or crystal meth, but they kept the RCMP frame-up squad busy for months fabricating lurid headlines about home-grown terror. That campaign has been so effective that even the soft-left pundits at the Toronto Star are writing editorials pleading that the RCMP be gifted more money and more manpower to fight the scourge of home-grown evil-doers. What a crock of shit! The RCMP has been forced to cut back the pursuit of real criminals and real criminal conspiracies to fund these politically motivated show trials of supposed home-grown terrorists. The Nuttall-Kolody case would have cost millions to bring to trial. The trial itself is costing millions more. After the guilty verdict, which is a forgone conclusion, we can then pay many millions more to keep these losers housed and fed for the rest of their lives. This is for two people who, without the coaching of their RCMP minders, would never have come up with anything more grandiose than knocking over the local 7-11 for drug money. It's not about them, of course. Marginalized misfits will always be vulnerable to the machinations of a ruthless state bent on creating "enemies" to further their agenda. Framing up threats to freedom has been a time-honored mainstay in the arsenal of totalitarian states since at least the era of Hitler and Stalin.

Letting dudes wear skirts and pantyhose ain't gonna help the Canadian Army meet its recruiting targets

And face tattoos too... It's all part of the vision that the political leadership has for the Canadian Armed Forces. The pols are of course hyper-sensitive to whichever way the winds of wokery are blowing. The way they see it, at least this week, is that CAF is failing to meet its recruiting targets because there's not enough diversity etc. In my estimation, this is precisely the wrong way to go about making the CAF an attractive career choice. The political leadership may have bought the woke agenda, but the young folks they're hoping to entice generally haven't, especially the young men. They're looking for people who are physically fit and have a thirst for adventure. They're looking for people they can turn into killers willing to sacrifice their lives for their country. That's a tough sell under the best of circumstances, especially given the disrespect routinely shown our men in uniform. How many career officers have had their reputations destroyed in the past few years because the political class saw fit to pursue their public shaming over alleged misconduct in basic training? A kid contemplating a career in the forces is bound to take notice. And that's before they get around to contemplating the prospect of sharing a foxhole with a dude who wears pantyhose. You can be woke, or you can have a serious military. What you'll never have, is a serious military that puts social fads before old-school concepts like esprit de corps and unit cohesion.

The banality of overdose deaths

I was in the off-leash dog park the other day, having myself a pleasant few laps while Bruno snoozed in the shade. On the other side of the fence were two ambulances, a firetruck, and four police vehicles. Being curious, I stopped and peered over the hedge. A dude on a stretcher. A couple of first responders doing life-saving stuff. I did a couple more laps and took a moment to check out the progress each time. By the fourth lap, they’d loaded the dude into the ambulance. They drove off without the lights and sirens on. What struck me was how normal it’s become to witness someone dying on the street in the middle of the day. When I was a kid, such a spectacle would have drawn a crowd. The only audience on this occasion were the first responders, and it’s their job to care. Other than that, people walked by, cycled by, drove by, and noticed nothing more than a minor inconvenience. Just another day at the dog park.

If dentists could write tickets for careless flossing...

We'd have to have Dental Courts. Had a visit to the dentist today. Remember that Alice Cooper lyric to the effect "your teeth are OK, but your gums gotta go?" Well, I'm living the dream. Not that my gums gotta go just yet, as long as I keep flossing and proxa-brushing at least 45 minutes per day, and brush my teeth after every meal, can of pop, or beer. According to the dentist, gum care should be the number one priority in your life. For sure; if you don't have healthy gums, you got nothing. On the other hand, at my age I figure I'm playing out the forth quarter. Might get a little injury time if I'm lucky, but I really don't need to treat gums or teeth as if I'm gonna need them for the next fifty years. But that's not how the dental profession sees it. They have this innocent way of asking if you've been sticking those little brushes between your teeth. They already know from looking at them that you haven't, but they ask you anyway, just to pile on you the added guilt of being a liar on top of the shame of negligent gum care. I don't care for all that stress, so today I fessed up off the top; I'm a complete failure as a flosser. Nothing happened. Guess they can't write tickets yet.

American Democracy a complete clown show

A country that can't control its borders has no right to claim statehood. That's pretty much rule number one in the game of nation states. How are the USA measuring up on that score? Not so well. Governors in border states have taken to shipping the border jumpers north, even as far as Martha's Vineyard, presumabley to share the blessings of diversification. The good folks of Martha's Vineyard had the National Guard cleanse their community of unwelcome migrants within two days. Which is a pity, because they represented some of the best and brightest who have been fleeing the oppressive Maduro dictatorship in Venezuela, where we have been lobbying for freedom and democracy since forever. We bait them with promises of freedom and democracy, and on arrival we call the National Guard to remove them? Shame on Martha's Vineyard.

Elite athletes should be cloned for breeding stock

I'm not talking about the flash-in-the-pan hot-shot who retires after five good years. I'm talking about the top-shelf athletes who are still bringing it in their forties. Folks like Vince Carter or Serena or Federer. And here's why we need them for breeding stock. Mother Nature, in the great experiment of human evolution, designed this mortal coil to last just long enough to successfully and sustainably fulfill the imperative of species survival. That needn't be more than twenty-five years. After that, our physical infrastructure begins to deteriorate, slow in some, quicker in others. The point is, folks who are playing elite level sports into their fourties have the genetic potential to carry our species far into the future. Finding people who can contribute desirable brain genetics to our species will be more problematic.

US-backed forces doing God's work in Syria

Today's Sunday Star presents an AP story that confirmms our belief that US-backed forces are doing great stuff in Syria besides liberating Syrian oil. "US-backed forces free women, children at ISIS camp." Well, thank goodness for US-backed forces. Writer Bassam Mroue is so thrilled to report the good news that "US-backed" appears six times in a 300 word story. Don't they have editors anymore at Torstar or Associated Press? So what were the baddies up to that drew the wrath of US-backed forces? Oppressing women and children, if such an outrage can be imagined. In fact, the evil-doers are so vile they have killed 44 people this year. Sounds to me like we could use some US-backed forces to clean up Chicago. After that, maybe they could pay some attention to Syria's neighbour, Israel, where over 80 Palestinians have been killed by Israeli forces thus far this year... Oh wait... those ARE the US-backed forces.

Now that Putin's on the run, it's time to start a war with China!

Have you heard the news? Of course you have; the plucky Ukrainians have put the run to the Rooskies! That's right! Putin will be toppled imminently, as the Russian people rise up against their evil dictator. Is all but over. That's why this is the time to fix our bomb-sights on China. Our top diplomats are on the job, promising billions in US weaponry to help the plucky Taiwanese preserve freedom and democracy... Hmm... Over twenty years, we couldn't keep Afghanistan out of the hands of illiterate religious fanatics, but now we're gonna defeat Russia and China? At he same time? That strikes me as a dubious proposition. You don't imagine somebody could be bullshitting us, do you?

Never-mind the news headlines; life goes on

It's easy to get bummed out when your spending way too much time reading the news. Will Putin unleash nuclear war if he's cornered? Oh My God! The climate apocalypse is just around the corner! Oh My God! Financial collapse is imminent... And so on. Had a couple of the youngsters up, and I showed them the new calves in the pasture across the road. Cows don't follow news headlines and are therefore unencumbered by the attendant anxieties. No, they just keep wandering the pasture, eating, shitting, and dropping a calf here and there. Turns out one of the girls had just dropped one. The afterbirth was still dangling. We stood transfixed as she licked her newborne right there in front of us, while trying to nudge it to its feet. After a couple dozen attempts, calfie managed a shakey four-point stance, and a few minutes later, was trotting along behind mama. Life goes on.

Who's got Epstein's blackmail videos?

If you were paying attention you will know that, over decades, Jeffrey Epstein built a huge cache of porn videos of the rich and powerful fucking underage girls. That gave Epstein a certain degree of influence among the movers and shakers. Obviously, Epstein's gig couldn't have lasted as long as it did without help from high places. When the high places decided they were done with Jeffrey... well, you know the rest. Here's my first question; who has that video library now? Second question; who are they blackmailing? The answer to the first question is rather obvious. The Epstein videos are in the same safe hands that held onto Hunter Biden's laptop for a year before the last election. As to who they might be blackmailing, your guess is as good as mine.

The recycling bin of political promises

I was watching as Liz Truss announced her plans as leader of the disunited kingdom over in not-so-great Britain. She's got some fresh ideas! She will build schools and hospitals, create lots of well-paying green-economy jobs, and cut taxes. Yawn... Like nobody's heard that shit before! I owe that pithy title to the Farm Manager, who was reminiscing about when she was a youthful activist 40 years ago, being in Queens Park making a speech about universal day-care. Forty years ago! Well, PM Fluffy was the most recent pol to squeeze a few votes out of that one, but good luck finding one of those $10/day spaces. It's the same old same old all over again... for the umpteenth time. Even Her Royal Highness QE2, who'd just green-lit Liz Truss as the new PM of UK the day before, was so disgusted with our politics she decided it was time to go to the proverbial better place.

The Korean Extortionist tightens the screws

I was flabbergasted when the Korean dude at the variety store demanded $8.20 for my Saturday Globe & Mail. That's a good bump over the $7.35 I paid last week. I've been a Globe reader forever. When I lived in the city, it used to show up at my house for two bucks a week. The Globe no longer comes to my house, and driving into town to pick it up runs $30 per week. That's not counting gas money, which doubles that again. And for that I get what? As the price increases the quality of the reportage goes only in the other direction. The journalism profession as we knew it has ceased to exist. It's no longer about telling us what's going on. It's about "narrative management."

I own nothing and I'm happy.

Folks think I own a house and a car. Truth is, there's a mortgage on the house, and the banks let me live here as long as I keep up the payments. Ditto for the car. So how am I happy? Here's the secret; I don't give a fuck. Worst case scenario, I'll be living in a tent on a sidewalk in Seattle, but let's look on the bright side. No mortgage. No car payment. Food banks and do-gooders rubbing my back is a small price to pay. I am fortified by the immortal words of the AA serenity prayer. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference." When my probation expired I didn't have to go to those meetings anymore, but those words have stayed with me for nigh fifty years.

They're trying to destroy America

My old pal Kipling, who has a few million miles of driving the Interstates of America under his belt, recently shared an astute observation. "The only healthy sector in the US economy today is providing ultra-processed fake food for fat people." Then today I was reading about how US has 5% of world population, but 25% of covid deaths... Bingo! A light went off! Almost 50% of Americans are clinically obese. Covid is a fat-seeking missile programmed to seek out the overweight. And I mean "programmed" in the sense that the scientists who developed it deliberately aimed for the useless eaters. After all, no less an authority than the WEF has declared most of us to be redundant. The last time fascism prevailed, the unfit were winnowed as soon as they got off the train. This time, they don't even need trains. All we have to do is drop dead! Leaving the fit and healthy to do society's essential labour while also eliminating bazillions in health care and pension expenses. They will own nothing and be happy.

China's LNG companies selling Russian gas to Europe at 1000% mark-up

By now even the dullest news consumers are aware that Europe is suffering an unprecedented energy crisis. Everybody knows the general outlines. Putin unleashed his brutal and totally unprovoked attack on Ukraine. To push back, the international community unleashed sanctions on Russian energy exports. According to the leader of the free world, Mr. Biden, this would crush the Russian economy, reducing the ruble to rubble, crippling Putin's war-making ability, causing the Russian people to rise up and overthrow the evil dictator. By all accounts, these sanctions, formulated by the sharpest minds in the free world, six months on, are strengthening the Russian economy, but crippling the economies of our European allies. Those allies are scrambling to replace their Russia-sourced energy. According to a story at China's biggest English-language news platform, Global Times, at least some of that replacement energy is coming from... Russia! But instead of paying pipeline prices, they are paying 100X more to buy Russian gas in LNG form. Here's the headline; "China's LNG companies ramp up supplies amid rising demand from Europe." Here's the money line; "Empty bulks (LNG carriers returning from Europe) will be delivered to Russia's port city Nakhodka, where they will be loaded with LNG before returning to China." Got it? China is a net importer of LNG. The only way they can export any is by importing more. Guess who's got lots of gas for sale at deep discounts? Buy cheap, sell dear... looks to me like the Chinese commies have way more business savy than the retards who came up with these sanctions!

China's LNG companies selling Russian gas to Europe at 1000% mark-up

By now even the dullest news consumers are aware that Europe is suffering an unprecedented energy crisis. Everybody knows the general outlines. Putin unleashed his brutal and totally unprovoked attack on Ukraine. To push back, the international community unleashed sanctions on Russian energy exports. According to the leader of the free world, Mr. Biden, this would crush the Russian economy, reducing the ruble to rubble, crippling Putin's war-making ability, causing the Russian people to rise up and overthrow the evil dictator. By all accounts, these sanctions, formulated by the sharpest minds in the free world, six months on, are strengthening the Russian economy, but crippling the economies of our European allies. Those allies are scrambling to replace their Russia-sourced energy. According to a story at China's biggest English-language news platform, Global Times, at least some of that replacement energy is coming from... Russia! But instead of paying pipeline prices, they are paying 100X more to buy Russian gas in LNG form. Here's the headline; "China's LNG companies ramp up supplies amid rising demand from Europe." Here's the money line; "Empty bulks (LNG carriers returning from Europe) will be delivered to Russia's port city Nakhodka, where they will be loaded with LNG before returning to China." Got it? China is a net importer of LNG. The only way they can export any is by importing more. Guess who's got lots of gas for sale at deep discounts? Buy cheap, sell dear... looks to me like the Chinese commies have way more business savy than the retards who came up with these sanctions!

We're going down the shitter way faster than we realized

There's a lot of parents in these parts finding out on Friday afternoon of Labour Day weekend that there won't be a schoolbus coming around when school starts next Tuesday. Why? Because they can't find schoolbus drivers! I've written on the matter before, and don't want to go over the entire thing again, but I believe I have the solution to the schoolbus driver shortage. Let's call it the Neumann two-step. Step one. Let's agree that delivering a busload of students is as important as delivering a load of cement. I would argue it's even more important. Let's peg schoolbus driver hourly rate to cement truck driver rate forthwith. Step two. The cement truck driver has only one job; drop off a load of cement. The schoolbus driver has two jobs; delivering the students is the one she gets paid for. The other one is arguably more important; supervising the children. It's impossible for one person to do both jobs well at the same time. Current policy is that students must at all times be under the supervision of a licenced educational professional. Until they get on the bus. Then they've got zero supervision. How about we make it mandatory to have a qualified bus monitor aboard, at the same hourly rate paid the professionals who watch the kids from 9 till 3:30? The fact experts can't figure out schoolbus needs and make sure there's a bus at your door next Tuesday bodes ill for society. We're a country suffering a collapsing health-care system and a housing crisis at the same time, but we have leaders burnishing their virtue halos on a policy of unlimited immigration. Globe & Mail stalwart Doug Saunders even wrote an entire book about how we need to hit a population target of 100 million. Sure, but let's figure out housing and health care and how to get the kids to school first!

Biden speech would make Hitler's propaganda film genius blush

Did you see that?! The American Deep State staged a PR exercise worthy of Leni Riefenstahl, Hitler’s propaganda film-maker extraordinaire. That’s some pretty obvious “mood-setting” with the lighting. To say nothing about the locale. Yup, if you’re gonna wrap yourself in the flag of American Exceptionalism, Independence Hall is the place to do it! And how about those US Marines as stage props. Were those real or just mannequins? Does it matter? Not really. Since actual democracy in the USA is long dead, democracy theatre must continuously up the ante to keep your attention. I think this effort does a pretty good job of that, but there’s a down-side. There’s way too many folks who still see “American Democracy” as a thing that exists in the real world. Seventy-five million of them voted for Donald Trump last election. They are bound to be pissed at how their President just slandered and disenfranchised them. America’s “democracy theatre” show is heading for a climax… Grab your popcorn and buckle up!

How long will Germany prostrate itself for Ukraine and Poland?

There has to be a limit somewhere. This fraudulent war propaganda that has revved up the collective West to suicidal levels of idiocy, will be the end of us all unless some sane people start making their voices heard. In the post WW2 period, the Germans were often treated as the voice of reason, and were hugely ammenable to taking ownership for Nazi war crimes. However, they remain a country under US occupation, and that shows when you look Germany's current predicament. The Ukrainian nationalists Germans are now making sacrifices for have never repudiated their fascist tendencies, but the Germans will go hungry in the dark to support them? Don't expect that to last forever. And in these gloomy times, trust the Poles to inject a note of humour... They just realized Germany owes them 1.3 trillion euros for war reparations! NATO/EU solidarity, internally and with Ukraine, grows more precarious by the day.

Poland gives reeling Germany kick in the head

At this most dire time, when the law-abiding Germans struggle to abide new laws dictating their shower time and toilet flushes, and do their darndest to stand with the Ukrainians who so selflessly stood with their Nazi forbears, the long-suffering Germans got more bad news. Poland is looking for a trillion three as reparations for the WW2. And why not? Reparations are all the rage these days. Let me qualify that. Nobody is getting "reparations," but it's getting talked about a lot more. Talking has largely replaced doing anything in Western politics. But still, the timing is atrocious. Isn't there already enough stress on the NATO and EU conglomerates? These are the key subservient partners to Uncle Sam, and without them there would be no American Empire. Instead, there would be an America unburdened by the demands of Empire, free at last to look after the interests of Americans. Go Polski!

German Army boss spills beans on Ukraine war

There's a great story on view at Reuters titled "Don't underestimate the Russian Military." Sounds like Russian Propaganda to me. General Zorn must be in Putin's pocket. He should immediately be charged with treason. How else to explain his ludicrous pronouncements about Russian capacity to open a second front. (Like in Poland, for instance.) Zorn claims Russia is raining 40 to 60 thousand artillery shells per day on Ukrainian positions. That's 1,600 to 2,500 per hour, 24/7. That's an incoming every couple of seconds, against Ukrainian forces getting off a countershot every half hour. Remember, this insight comes from the top of the German Bundeswehr. So is it remotely conceivable that Ukraine is anywhere "pushing Putin back?"

Putin chaos as Zelensky pushes Russian forces out of Kherson

That's the title of a story on view right now at MSN, sourced from the UK Daily Express. I'd give you a link but Blogger blocked my linking privileges. Our Big Media news sites are reporting disarray on the Russian side and a veritable blitzkrieg on the part of Ukraine. There is fierce fighting all across the south, we are told. The liberation of Crimea is at hand! Just keep sending weapons and money, and Zelensky will save liberal democracy world-wide! Of course, there is another side to the story. Western media report Ukraine sources as utterly truthful, and that's where our mainstream war news comes from. In Russian and Russo-sympathetic media, they're discussing the alleged counter-attack by Ukraine in the past tense already. As in, it didn't gain anything and cost 50 tanks and 1200 men. Our official narrative is that Russia failed to take Kyiv in the first three days, and Ukraine has been pushing back ever since. The world-class PR experts who have been turd-polishing for the Zelensky regime have been winning the propaganda war. But facts on the ground, not only in Uraine, but throughout Europe, tell another story. EU and NATO solidarity are under extreme stress. Without their European satrapies, the American Empire is no more. That would be a good thing for the planet. The world at large would be free of the American yoke, and America would be free to focus on its internal problems. Sounds like a win-win to me.

Why hot tubs are gross

I'm sure you've seen it too. The dude who sits in the hot tub for the entire afternoon, drinking beer, and never gets out for a pee. What do you imagine is going on there? And what do you imagine you'll be sitting in if you get in there... Not only that, but people make out in hot tubs. Think that through. The only way to make a hot tub safe, short of a complete drain and refill, is dumping in a load of chemicals to kill all the potential toxins. So when you climb into that hot tub, you'll either be sitting in a chemical soup, or a stew of human bacteria. Sorry to wreck your fun.

Ukraine launches long-promised Kherson counter-attack

Depending on where you get your news, this counter-attack has been building momentum as far back as May. This morning various Ukraine oriented news sites were reporting the long-awaited counter-attack was actually really finally happening. By the time the evening news came around, the story had all but disappeared. Wonder what happened in between?

Learnings from my Globe and Mail today

I inevitably feel ripped off a couple hours after forking over $7.35 to the Korean Extortionist for a Saturday Globe and Mail. That's because it takes a couple hours to scan the news. No mention of Ukraine on the front page today, and hardly a passing mention anywhere else. Take what lesson you want from that, but I have a hunch there's a pivot going on in the world 'o news. But at least for the moment mainstream news will continue to pretend the sun shines out Zelensky's asshole. Former journo and now famous author Ian Brown got a full page to celebrate the glories of a free press. I read the whole damn thing just out of curiosity, to see if the name "Assange" would come up. It did not. But thank God there was at least one worthwhile story in the paper; the obit for Dorothy Eber. That alone was worth $7.35.

How the Left has changed

When I was coming up, progressive folks had a lot of ideas in common. We were anti-war, anti censorship, pro civil rights, pro feminism and pro gay rights. It was a given in our belief system that we could never ever trust Big Business or Big Media. And never in our lives would it be conceivable to trust the FBI or the CIA. Fast forward fifty years. The "progressive left" today idolizes the FBI and state power. They trust Big Media to tell them the truth, and are cheerleaders for censorship. They trust Big Pharma and line up for their safe and effective experimental vaccines. They rally 'round the Empire they once hated and demand we pursue war with Russia and China. Instead of valorizing women's rights, they demand men with gender dysphoria have access to womens' spaces. Have to say I'm not seeing much progress in the progessive agenda these days.

Experts plot fresh strategy to bankrupt Newfoundland for good

When the Come-by-Chance oil refinerey was built in the early 1970's, a lot of common-sense sort of folks, like Newfoundlanders tend to be, looked askance at the idea of contributing public money into the project. Unfortunately, the developers produced plenty of well-credentialed experts who argued otherwise, and the experts prevailed. The refinerey went bankrupt within three years. It has since seen several resurrections under various investors, venture capitalists, and carpet-baggers, all with their teams of well-credentialed experts, all promising to make a go of it with just a little more public money. The most recent bankruptcy was just last year. The 1980's brought Premier Brian Peckford's plan to turn Newfoundland into a cucumber powerhouse. Hydroponic cucumbers would put Newfoundland on the map. Again, the common-sense folks were skeptical, but the experts prevailed. The tax-payer funded scheme collapsed into bankruptcy after one growing season. Their cukes cost $27.50 apiece to grow, when the market price was fifty cents. Who could have seen that coming? In the '90's the cod fishery collapsed, having been mismanaged into oblivion over decades by the experts at the Department of Fisheries and Oceans. From cucumber super-power to hydro-electric super-power, a fresh crop of well-credentialed experts convinced the province to get behind the Muskrat Falls project. Billions in cost over-runs later, Muskrat Falls now produces the most expensive electricity in Canada, subsidized by the Federal government to the tune of billions just so N.L. can afford their electrical bills. Fast foward to 2022, and some well-credentialed experts have come up with a sure-fire winner. All N.L. has to do is sprinkle a few hundred giant windmills across the western Newfoundland landscape, use the electricity to produce hydrogen fuel, which will solve Germany's energy crisis and defeat Putin! The experts claim shipments will commence in 2025. Looks like the long-suffering Newfoundlanders are about to take it up the arse again!

Looming toilet paper shortage threatens Germany

Those poor Germans! Already faced with a ruinous energy shortage that prevents the proper heating of homes and hot water, they will soon have to do without toilet paper as well, according to a story at Zerohedge this morning. No hot showers AND no toilet paper? A trip on the Berlin U-Bahn is gonna be one stinky adventure, isn't it? Oh wait... they'll need to shut down the U-Bahn due to the same energy crisis. At least they'll still be able to use the stations as bomb shelters when Zelensky's war to save liberal democracy and stop Putin comes to Germany. As unpleasant as this scenario may be, I'm confident the vast majority of Germans will agree these are small sacrifices for the sake of standing with Ukraine, although under the circumstances the Ukrainians can't be blamed for not wanting the Germans standing too close! On a related note, why is National Toilet Paper Day on August 26, but World Toilet Day isn't till November 19?

Where's Greta?

Seems like just yesterday you couldn't open a newspaper or a laptop without the obnoxious teen scold Greta Thunberg getting in your face about how your reckless disregard for her climate expertise was destroying the planet. Now, Greta be gone. You can barely find a reference to her on the news anymore, and her glory days of addressing the UN, the US congress, Davos, and sundry parliaments are long over. Is this because the world heeded her wisdom and climate salvation is now assurred? No! In fact, the world at large is going in the opposite direction. Coal, the dirtiest of fossil fuels, is setting all-time consumption records. In 2021 over 200 new coal-fired generating plants were under construction worldwide, mostly in Asia. So why the radio silence from the most revered climate activist of all time? Here's my theory. The "Mighty Wurlitzer" of global propaganda only has room for one top story at a time, and Greta's time is up. She has been pushed into the shadows by Vlodomyr Zelensky's heroic war to save freedom, democracy, and the "liberal world order." After all, what's more important; saving the planet, or saving the American Empire?

Newfies have insatiable appetite for pie in the sky

When the Come-by-Chance oil refinerey was built in the early 1970's, a lot of common-sense sort of folks, like Newfoundlanders tend to be, looked askance at the idea of contributing public money into the project. Unfortunately, the developers produced plenty of well-credentialed experts who argued otherwise, and the experts prevailed. The refinerey went bankrupt within three years. It has since seen several resurrections under various investors, venture capitalists, and carpet-baggers, all with their teams of well-credentialed experts, all promising to make a go of it with just a little more public money. The most recent bankruptcy was just last year. The 1980's brought Premier Brian Peckford's plan to turn Newfoundland into a cucumber powerhouse. Hydroponic cucumbers would put Newfoundland on the map. Again, the common-sense folks were skeptical, but the experts prevailed. The tax-payer funded scheme collapsed into bankruptcy after one growing season. Their cukes cost $27.50 apiece to grow, when the market price was fifty cents. Who could have seen that coming? In the '90's the cod fishery collapsed, having been mismanaged into oblivion over decades by the experts at the Department of Fisheries and Oceans. From cucumber super-power to hydro-electric super-power, a fresh crop of well-credentialed experts convinced the province to get behind the Muskrat Falls project. Billions in cost over-runs later, Muskrat Falls now produces the most expensive electricity in Canada, subsidized by the Federal government to the tune of billions just so N.L. can afford their electrical bills. Fast foward to 2022, and some well-credentialed experts have come up with a sure-fire winner. All N.L. has to do is sprinkle a few hundred giant windmills across the western Newfoundland landscape, use the electricity to produce hydrogen fuel, which will solve Germany's energy crisis and defeat Putin! The experts claim shipments will commence in 2025. Looks like the long-suffering Newfoundlanders are about to take it up the arse again!