CROP CIRCLES REVEAL MADONNA IS THE MESSIAH!!!

Oh, wait a minute... it's fuckin' February... there's four feet of snow in the fields!

THERE ARE NO CROP CIRCLES!

But what did I just see?... I think I just saw Madonna ascending to heaven...

I'm watching the Grammys, and I just burned a stick of Kipling's famous Puslinch Red-Hair... I'm confused...

Was that not Madonna?..

...ascending to heaven?

WTF, I'm pulling on my Wellys, strapping on the snow-shoes, and checking out the fields for those crop circles again...

I'll get back to ya...

Why BEFORE ITS NEWS fiddles view counts

Here at Falling Downs we've noted with some amusement that the view count for stuff on Before it's News often goes backwards. You can have 50 views fifteen minutes after posting something, and an hour later there's 20.

Here's a guy who thinks he has it figured out. xvleo is a contributor who has noted the same phenomenon, and he's come up with an explanation. According to xv, the satanists at BIN do this to hide the truth about the NWO.

Yup.

Sorry to ruin your theory, Mr. Leo, but there's a much more prosaic explanation. Those clicks on your stories go somewhere; just not to your story!

Instead, they are siphoned off to plump the numbers of the crap that routinely shows up at "today's top stories." And most of it is crap. How do 11,000 people click onto the latest expose about crop circles? Seriously folks, all my ranting about America's dysfunctional education system aside, there are not enough stupid people in America to drive the kind of viewership you see at "today's top stories."

And guess who writes most of that crap? Why, BIN insiders of course! And guess what? If you can author several stories a day that run into the thousands of page views, you end up making a tidy living writing dreck about imaginary conspiracies, aliens, crop circles, etc.

This blog has been fodder at the Alternative department at BIN since before they had a million stories. They're over four million now. We're glad to have been a small part of their success. But we're not deluding ourselves about what BIN is or does.

Nobody at BIN seriously believes the shit they put up as "top stories" and nobody reads it.

Those numbers are just page views pilfered from earnest bloggers who wonder why their view counts go down instead of up.

Crop circles reveal Lucy is the messiah

Lucy.

That's shorthand for "Lucifer" in case you don't know.

She's curled up at my feet this very moment, acting all innocent-like; as if she doesn't know who she is and who sent her.

Once again I will have to explain to the doubters that there can be crop circles in winter...

I mean look at Lucy! Isn't that proof enough?

Crop circles reveal Mark Carney is the Anti-Christ!

Don't let the calm demeanor fool you...

I was out there in the corner field, driving the Ford 4000 around in circles looking for the crop circles, and whoa!..

There they were!

Now I have to admit they were more properly "snow circles" rather than crop circles, due to the fact that the crops are under a foot of snow at the moment, but no matter.

I swear, when I got off the tractor, I could clearly make it out:

                 CARNEY=ANTICHRIST

Yup, right there in the corner field. Come out and have a look if you don't believe me... Oh nevermind. It's snowing again.

You won't see a damned thing by the time you get here.

Crop circles reveal Psy is the messiah!!!

Gangnam style indeed!

We should have seen it coming. As the corner stores all over the world were gradually being taken over by Koreans, we SHOULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING!!!

And it all stands up to the harsh light of reason. Koreans. Corner Stores. Christianity...

THE APOCALYPSE!!!

The end of days.

You really think it's a coincidence that an obscure Korean rapper makes the most-viewed YOU TUBE video of all time?

Lucifer works in mysterious ways. And just like those Koreans, he works 24/7. Believe me, I've seen the evidence right back there behind the barn.

Lundy's cows have been making crop circles back there. They circle around having random shits as they go. But there is no denying it; if you follow the cow pies they clearly spell out P-S-Y = M-S-S-I-A.

I'm not kidding. Feel free to go back there and have a look for yourself.

Of course reading cow shit circles is not an exact science.

Especially after the hounds have rolled around in the cow shit.

In fact, now that I look at it again... well, maybe it says this, maybe it says that...  I'm clearly seeing P-S-Y.. oh wait a minute... maybe that's "my"... not "Psy"...

M-S-S-I... Oh wait a minute... Oh for fucks sakes!

I think the crop circle says "my mistake".

Sorry about that.

My mistake.

Crop circles predict that Justin Bieber is the Messiah!

Oops... Oh wait a minute. I'm getting mixed messages from the crop circles...

Here we go... Bieber is the.... A N T I C H R I S.....  wait a minute!

That can't be right. Let me try again.

I'm walking around my crop circles with a divining rod and a ouiji board. Been walking around in circles for hours. The messages keep changing...

O B A M A  A N T I C H R... oh shit! Obama is the anti-Christ? No, just hang on here. Let me try again.

Wait! Be very quiet - I think I'm getting a message... I hear a "N"....

N E W T  H A I L T H E  M E S S I ....

Say what? Newt is the Messiah? Or is the crop circle delivering a message to Newt, that he should hail Justin Bieber? If it's a message to Newt, why is the crop circle in my field instead of Newt's?

These damned crop circles are so vague in their messages...