We'll, he's the heartless bastard of American politics no longer. Doctors in Virginia successfully implanted a heart in the 71 year old Cheney over the weekend.
Oh but that he could have found a heart fifty years before. The world might be a different place. A kinder, gentler place.
Those heartless drunk-driving convictions back in the '60s needn't have happened.
As an American with a heart he would have done his patriotic duty and served his country in Viet Nam instead of getting one deferment after another.
Operation Desert Storm might have spared hundreds of thousands of Iraqis if Cheney had a heart. the invasions of Iraq and Afghanistan might never have happened if Cheney had a heart.
The corruption scandal that cost his only private sector employer $250 million dollars might never have happened.
But look at the bright side. Now that he has a heart, Cheney could spend the next fifty years undoing the legacy of his last fifty.
That heart might not be wasted after all.
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