Tampa's triple whammy

Made it into town late last night after a longer than expected drive from Kentucky. All along this trip I've had a nagging feeling that I've forgotten something. You know what I'm talking about; you're out the door on a long drive and a hundred miles from home it hits you; did I turn the coffee pot off?

I knew it wasn't the coffee pot, but there was something just not quite right. I already had the anxiety of worrying about my fake National Post press credentials. And how long was this counterfeit DND credit card going to work?...

No, it wasn't that either... it was something else. It's so hard to recall something that you've forgotten when you can't think of it, isn't it? It's sort of an "unknown unknown". Then out of the blue, just past Ocala, it hit me - I'd totally overlooked getting a hotel in Tampa!

Shit!

Well gawd damn... you figure you've covered all the bases and you forget the most obvious thing...

Needless to say that bummed me out for the last hour of my drive. By the time I got to Tampa I was good and thirsty.

Found myself in what must have been a biker bar judging by all the leather, although I hadn't noticed the obligatory brace of Harleys one expects lined up outside such an establishment. Didn't notice any of the biker babes I'd normally expect... Whoa! There's a guy with leather chaps AND HE FORGOT TO WEAR HIS JEANS UNDERNEATH!

Holy moly, I've never seen such a thing. He must have already been drunk when he got dressed!

Anyway, the beer was cold and the ZZ Top cover band was hot, and... hey, who the hell is that?... that sure looks a lot like John Bolton!

It was! I introduced myself as a senior political analyst from Canada's rabidly right-wing newspaper of record. That impressed him!

And he was with Lindsey Graham, the Senator from South Carolina! Wow! Who could even imagine such a stroke of luck! I'm not even in Tampa for an hour and here I am, drinking at a biker bar with two of my favorite Republicans!

Well, one thing led to another, and after the third or forth bar things get a little blurry in the memory bank, but  long story short, the lads have been kind enough let me crash at their suite at the Intercontinental for the duration!

That's a huge load off my mind.

What with the convention pushed back a day, it looks like I'll have some free time for sight-seeing. I'll wait till my new friends wake up and see what plans they have...