Hello Royal Oak!

By God, it must be ten years or more since I've been here.

I'm at the Royal Oak Holiday Inn. Right after we sorted out that business with the gouda cheese I had to pack and leave. I have to be in Tampa by Monday.

Last time I was heading to Florida it was to the Gator Nationals. Actually, I'm pretty sure they spell it as one word.

Gatornationals.

That was years and years ago, and I have to admit I was in the company of some sketchy characters. Somewhere in Alabama, or it might have been Georgia, we ran afoul of the law.

Doesn't take much to run afoul of the law in Georgia or Alabama.

Speeding and open liquor in the car. Yup, that's the story I'm sticking to.

Took four days and about twenty-five phone calls home to various parents before we got the bail money to get out of there.

By then the Gatornationals were over.

Anyway, I'm on this trip all alone, so no sketchy characters.

I've been to Royal Oak before. Matter of fact, I've stayed in this very hotel.

Royal Oak is one of those northern burbs of Detroit that pretty much did just fine as the inner city imploded.

So I did have to borrow a canoe to get across the St. Clair river. I feel bad about that. If you live on the east side of that river and your canoe that you carelessly left on the end of your dock is missing, you can find it beached at the northern reaches of Marine City. Pretty much across from the Dunkin' Donuts.

A friend of a friend works at the Foolish Duck in Ottawa, one of the most popular haunts for DND expense account types. One of his other friends made me up a blank credit card. I wanted one with a National Post account number, to match my press credentials, but I got a Department of National Defence credit card instead.

Probably a good thing.

The reason I say that is after the folks at the front desk made some enquiries, they got all ass-kissy with me.

I know for a fact that wouldn't happen if I'd presented a National Post credit card.

So I should be good for the unlimited credit of a DND card, at least until the next billing cycle.

By then I'll be long gone!