Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Tampa shocker: Romney to dump Ryan, draft Jacob Zuma for VP

Occasionally reliable sources have revealed that Romney is planning to dump his running mate of two weeks at the Tampa convention.

The reason is that Romey's advisors believe that with only two months to go before the election Ryan hasn't caused enough of a bump in polling numbers, and it's not too late to correct the Ryan mistake.

The decision to draft Jacob Zuma will be controversial among some, probably because he's a foreign national. This is not necessarily true. Independent researchers have proof that Zuma was actually born in Hawaii.

Furthermore, Romney will be comfortable with the fact that Zuma has four wives, which is in keeping with Mitt's religious tradition.

Zuma also has an outlook on gender relations that should appeal to the conservative base of the GOP. Just yesterday he claimed in an interview that it is not right for women not to have children.

The fact that Zuma presents as a black man won't hurt either. Not sure what the advisors were thinking when they chose a guy even whiter than Romney as a running mate. That is so mid-twentieth century.

Look for the polls to show a "Zuma bump" in September.

No comments:

Post a Comment