Tampa blockbuster: Romney dumps Ryan for Jacob Zuma!

Reliable sources have revealed that Romney is planning to dump his running mate of two weeks when he makes his acceptance speech on Thursday.

Romey's advisors believe that with only two months to go before the election Ryan hasn't caused enough of a bump in polling numbers, and it's not too late to correct the Ryan mistake.

The decision to draft Jacob Zuma will be controversial among some, probably because he's a foreign national. This is not necessarily true. Independent researchers have proof that Zuma was actually born in Hawaii.

Furthermore, Romney will be comfortable with the fact that Zuma has four wives, which is in keeping with Mitt's religious tradition.

Zuma also has an outlook on gender relations that should appeal to the conservative base of the GOP. Just a few days ago he claimed in an interview that it is not right for women not to have children.

The fact that Zuma presents as a black man won't hurt either. Not sure what the advisors were thinking when they chose a guy even whiter than Romney as a running mate. That is so 1956.

Look for the polls to show a "Zuma bump" in September.