Well glory be!
From death throes to record profits in less time than a supercharged Cadillac can cover the quarter mile!
The politicians are falling over themselves to take credit for the resurrection. W claims it was his idea. Nothing doing, Obama says.
It's a beautiful story though. Shows what 80 billion in Tarp loans can do for an American industry better known for having tens of thousands of vice-presidents than for its products.
At least they had products. I think what really rankled the car companies was seeing all those bail-out billions being handed out to the too-big-to-fail banksters.
Like, what the hell do they do? At least we make cars. I think. Somewhere. Hang on, let me check with my administrative assistant.
Yup! We make cars, dammit, and we employ millions of proud American workers and... what's that?.. not millions?... OK, we still employ a few hundred thousand proud Americans, so where's OUR bail out bonanza?
Alright already, patriotic American car companies, step right up and let Uncle Sam have a lookie into those books!
Hmmm... cause for concern. Tell you what. Seems you've been playing Santa to those UAW guys. Here's the plan.
Cut wages in half. After the last thirty years of driving them into the ground, there's lots and lots of folks happy to work for jobs that pay like it's 1976.
Cut those union pensioners off their health care benefits altogether. Let's get serious. What are they doing for you these days? These tough times are no place for sentimentality. Besides, they're sick and old. They'll be long-gone well before any class actions make it to court.
You do that, and Uncle Sam will cut you a big fat Tarp check, alrighty!
And now that profitability has returned with a vengeance, can six-figure bonuses for all those vice-presidents be far behind?
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