If you're not for unlimited police monitoring of the internet you're for pedophilia

That's the word from Canada's Minister for Public Safety, Vic Toews.

Sounds like one of those biblical all-or-nothing declarations that W was so fond of. "If you are not with us in the war on terror, you are against us and for the terrorists."

Toews is one of the law-and-order guys so at home in the Harper cabinet. It was only last week that he attracted a little ink with his declaration that torture is hunky-dory and damn right Canada will act on information derived from torture.

Now he's claiming that anyone against unlimited police powers to track your internet travels is obviously a supporter of child porn.

Otherwise, why would you have anything to hide?

Well Vic, not that you'll find any child porn, or even grown-up porn on my computer, but there's plenty of things you don't need to see.

Like my e-mails to my children.

Like my e-mails to and from lawyers about this and that.

Like my visits to a variety of websites across the political spectrum that might be considered "radical" depending on what kind of imbecile gets the Minister of Public Safety gig next.

Like my frequent letters here and there about trading Kessel and firing the front office.

Like... like a whole lot of stuff.

The Office of Public Safety was one of those post-9/11 creations that sprang from the initial Twin Towers attack, much like the Department of Homeland Security in the US.

Since there's never been another 9/11 these folks find themselves in the awkward position of having to constantly invent imaginary terror threats to justify their continued existance.

So they go home and read 1984 every night and wake up to new terror threats every morning.

Like, oh, you know, people who might want to take their manicure scissors on an airplane.

Box-cutters, manicure scissors,... hey, you can't be too vigilant in these dangerous times.

And why don't we have a look-see through your in-box just to see if you've been aiding and abetting people who want to take their manicure scissors on an airplane.

What? You object?

What do you have to hide? Could you have kiddie-porn on your computer?

Think we better have a look...