Whatever did God do before the internet?

In His wisdom God now relies on the internet to hook up Christian singles. Saw it right there on a commercial for Christian Mingle just moments ago. In fact, I'll see it again in a few minutes, because God's commercials for His website are absolutely everywhere all the time.

This is obviously good news for God. He was hitherto reliant on the vagaries of random chance to have those Christian singles hook up with one another. That left all sorts of opportunities for Satan to interject interlopers into the dating game, guys (and I'm guessing it was mostly guys) who passed themselves off as "Christians" just to score some of that tender Christian you-know-what.

Luckily for God and all those single Christians, the internet now weeds out all those unsavory pretenders.