Tuesday, November 3, 2015

TransCanada pulls plug on Keystone pipeline

For now.

What this (probably) really is; a bunch of suits deciding that this controversial pipeline intended to bring Koch tar sludge to Koch refineries ain't gonna go nowhere with Obama in the big chair. After all, they've pissed away enough millions pissing into the wind on this one. Better to wait for a more pliant ass in the big chair, and try our luck again.

What I'd like to think it was; three vice-presidents and a couple of their executive assistants sitting around a board-room table after a meeting. The meeting is over, but these characters remain.

VP1: Well, I guess that's over.

VP2: Ya, no shit. Here, let's fire one up. (pulls vintage cigarette tin out of suit jacket, opens to reveal buds and rolling papers)

VP1: Ya lets... I'm so fucking glad that's over.

VP3: No shit! Ya know, we gotta get our heads around a new way of doing shit. I for one am happy to see the end of this Keystone shit... Amy, (to executive assistant) why don't you fetch a few Heinekens out of the fridge in the executive dining room...

ea1: right on!

VP3: And Bjorn, (to executive assistant 2) go turn off the surveillance, would ya mind?

ea2: right on!

VP1: Ya know, this was bullshit all the way down the line. It ain't gonna be good for anybody. Not good for the locals, not good for the Nebraska ranchers...

VP2: (having fired up a fattie...) here... this is good shit. Ya. This wasn't good for anybody except the Koch boys... phewwww... they're the only ones who.. cough, cough... they're the only winners on this one.

VP1: Ya, (long pause as he inhales) we gotta figure out a better way.... (longer pause)

ea1: I cleaned all the Heinies out of the fridge boys! Found 18 of 'em!

VP3: Whoa! Brilliant work, Amy!


Headline in Globe and Mail next morning: TransCanada announces major head office shuffle.

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