Mayor Ford emerges from crack binge to discover he has hired Big Ben Johnson and Caveman Losco to run his re-election campaign

You just couldn't make this stuff up!

Rob Ford's re-election campaign has hired the disgraced sprinter Ben Johnson and Trailer Park Boys minor character Caveman Losco.

Johnson was very briefly the fastest man in the world after winning gold in the 100m in the '88 Olympics. Less than 24 hours later his pee-test suffered an epic fail, and that was the end of that. He went on to become the personal trainer for one of the Gaddafi kids in Libya.

If you're not familiar with Caveman, here's a sampler. Yes, Trailer Park Boys is one of the most brilliant TV sitcoms of all time, and maybe if Ford coulda got Bubbles or Randy he'd be onto something...

But Caveman?

For God's sakes, yer honour; your extra-curriculars are starting to impact your better judgement!