Introducing Uber policing

Here's a thought; why not replace your local police force with an Uber app on your smartphone?

After all, if Uber can replace regulated cabbies, why not let them replace regulated law enforcement as well?

My ruminations re: Uber policing were triggered by an opinion column in the Toronto Star by a couple of criminologists at U of Ottawa. It's titled We need a leaner, modern police service, and can be found on page A15 of today's paper.

No, I'm not providing a link. You can buy the paper like I did.

So with your Uber-cops, instead of dialling 911, you'll just hit the Uber app.

The nearest Uber-cop will respond way quicker than a conventional cop to whatever emergency you happen to be mixed up in.

Neighbour's party too loud? Hell, this doesn't require the services of two or more $100,000/year Toronto Police Services constables to sort out. Some off-season CFL linebacker can fix that up for twenty bucks!

And that's mostly the kind of stuff "real cops" do when they're not directing traffic.

Yup, Professors Kempa and Waller are onto something here. And they should know. Being professional academics, they've seen how a leaner, modern professoriat has taken over teaching in universities across the country.

In fact, most of the "teaching" your kid is gonna get at the undergrad level when she toddles off to U of Ottawa or any other school in North America is going to be provided by "sessionals" or "adjunct professors." Those are folks with Doctor Phils working full-time hours for poverty wages, hoping against hope that eventually they'll find a tenure track position.

Like Professor Kempa and Professor Waller.

Ya, even though these guys are prescribing lean and modern for the cops, they're part of the old school Ivory Tower, not the lean and modern professoriat.

The Ontario "sunshine list" shows associate professor Michael Kempa pulling down $122,000 for 2014. Full professor Irvin Waller clocks in at $171,000.

That's the kind of guys who give lectures on the importance of other people working for less!