We were still nursing our New Year's Eve hangovers when the news hit that Bomber Trump had done his pal Bibi an unthinkable favour; whacked Israel's arch-enemy Qasem Solemeini.
A few weeks go by. The Canadian government makes it clear they intend to force a pipeline through First Nation territory in BC. The Natives do the unthinkable, park a snowplow near a railroad crossing, and within days our news headlines are hysterically predicting the collapse of the economy.
The biggest movie mogul in Hollywood gets charged with doing what movie moguls have done since Hollywood was invented; give aspiring starlets a chance. The unthinkable happens; for the first time in history, a movie mogul goes to jail for raping an aspiring starlet.
The unthinkable strikes Ukraine; voters elect a Jewish president. OK, that was last year, but Chuck and Nancy figure Trump's call to the new president is their best bet at impeachment. Unthinkable! Trump walks just in time for coronaviris.
Double unthinkables in the race to the White House, or more probably, the leader of the losers. The socialist holds a commanding lead. The former Veep is moseying into the sunset...
Whoa!
Hold the phone!!!
Where in hell did this Joe-mentum suddenly come from? Unthinkable! This was obviously another reputational rehab by our friends in the Info-Industrial-Entertainment-Complex, or whatever we call it these days. We all know it's there; we just can't agree on what to call it.
After years spent cutting back production to allow the US shale industry to blossom, OPEC does the unthinkable, and gives Uncle Sam a big, fat, long-overdue FU. The price of oil collapses. The NYSE collapses... but the US dollar GOES UP?!?! Unthinkable!
One of the marquis names from America's era of manufacturing dominance succumbs to greed, hubris, and stupidity, after spending an unthinkable $45 billions on share buybacks. America has lost its competitive edge in technology, productivity, and innovation, but now has a clear lead in greed, hubris, stupidity, and nukes.
Canada's PM locks down the economy before a dozen Canadians die of the new plague. Unthinkable!
Before two dozen Canadians die, he's announced an 82 billion dollar assistance package. Unthinkable! I guess those new warships will be on hold another twenty years.
Last week half a million Canadians filed for Employment Insurance. Unprecedented and unthinkable.
Today Smug Doug (who's looking a little rattled, by the way) announced a total lock-down of all non-essential businesses and services. Liquor stores across the province are being cleaned out as I write these words. Unthinkable!
Fortunately, I was there within twenty minutes of Doug's announcement, so I'm well-placed to ride this out... which is really good, because I've done more than enough thinking for this year, and it's still only March!
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