To my everlasting amazement I actually have a degree from the University of Guelph. That must have happened during those mornings when I was waiting for the Brass Taps to open up.
That was the campus bar at the time, the main campus bar, located in the University Center. They also had a place called the Roundhouse, which was round.
One night, or I should say early one morning, I got my car stuck on the stairs between Johnson Hall and the academic building as I was leaving the Roundhouse, which is probably more than anyone needs to know about my university career.
At the time the U of Goo's main claim to fame was that when Elton John stopped in for a visit the campus cops towed his illegally parked limo from in front of the University Center.
The campus cops were pretty decent really. They let me park there all the time.
But I digress. One night I was at the Brass Taps with my good buddy Karen. We'd had a few pitchers of beer, and as we were making our way out I stopped off at my mailbox in the basement to see if my latest government grant had arrived.
There we were in one of the basement hallways, when suddenly Karen left all the beer she had consumed that evening right there on the floor.
Couple of weeks after that, I was treating my good buddy Kipling to a few pitchers at the self-same Brass Taps. Long story short, ya, you guessed it! Same hall and everything!
Not a week later, I'm in the food court at the UC with my six year old daughter. Can't even remember what we ate, but as we're leaving we swing down to the mailboxes. Sure enough, same hall, same deal, except this time it's my six year old daughter leaving back everything she'd just had at the food court.
I never checked my mailbox again.
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