Saturday, November 19, 2011

Netanyahu welcomes Bible museum to holy land

Benyamin Netanyahu announced today that a new Bible museum and theme park will be built near Jerusalem by the shadowy NGO Emek Hatanach.

"In the land of the Bible it is absurd that there is no place dedicated to it" said Netanyahu, well aquainted as he is with absurdity. Attractions will include a recreation of the crucifixion, A Moses-parts-the-sea water park and a roller-coaster called the tramway to heaven.

While critics claim that this is a superficial ploy to entice more Christian tourists to the holy land, Netanyahu disagrees. "This is an outreach to our muslim brothers so they can  educate themselves about the history of this jewish cult called christianity" he said. "Understanding one another is the foundation of peace and this development is long overdue."

While little is known about the secretive Emek Hatanach, it has long been suspected of being a CIA front group populated by right-wing christian nutters who believe that a Bible museum in Israel is predicted in the book of Revelations, and that Netanyahu's enthusiastic endorsement is one more sign that the end times are almost upon us.

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