Did you hear the one about the school guard who forgot his gun in the bathroom?

Pity poor Clark Arnold, by now the poster boy for all that could go wrong with bringing armed guards into schools.

But it wasn't Clark's fault.

I'm willing to bet a box of .40 cal rounds that the bathrooms at the Lapeer elementary school have those high-capacity toilet-paper magazines that have been retro-fitted to institutional bathrooms across the country in recent years.

Instead of a single modestly sized roll of bathroom tissue hanging unobtrusively from the wall, you've got this huge box that has God-knows-how-many rolls of bumwipe in it.

This is not to accommodate the unfortunate stall denizen with the worst-ever case of the trots; it's so the custodian can fill the high capacity magazine once a week or once a month instead of replacing individual rolls on a daily basis.

Doesn't sound like a big deal, but across tens of thousands of schools this little innovation has eliminated the jobs of thousands of school custodians.

It's also narrowed the interior width of an already claustrophobic space by a good eight or nine inches.

I remember when I went to Junior's graduation. Sure enough, nature called, and before I know it I'm trying to wrestle my drawers up and down in a space that would be too cozy for a man half my size.

In the process I had to put my phone and my Glock 22 on the floor, because there's not a single flat surface in there. I was so pleased with myself when I finally got my trousers successfully buckled up that I clean forgot about the gun and the cell!

So lay off Clark, folks. This could happen to anybody, and let's put the blame where it belongs; the high capacity toilet-paper magazine.

Call your congressman now and have him lobby for legislation to limit the sale of these dangerous aftermarket accessories before something tragic happens.

Again.