There's lots of folks in the dark on this one, but John McCain is actually the illegitimate half-brother of Wallace and Harrison McCain. Being born in Canada, he wasn't even eligible to run for the White House in '08.
The Nova Scotia McCains fobbed young John off on old Jack McCain early on, after they'd met the late Admiral in the course of negotiating the frozen french fry contract for the US Navy.
While not widely known in the American mainstream, this fact is common knowledge to anyone who has spent some serious time on Canada's east coast.
Says McCain, "I was ready to make this career change ten years ago, but the freedom fries controversy scared me off. Now that Obama has ruined the chances of war with Syria I figure I might as well make the move."
Given McCain's connections with middle eastern democracy movements and freedom fighters it is expected the region will be a major focus of McCain marketing efforts in the years ahead.
Always a glass-half-full kind of guy, McCain is at peace with the career transition. "I've always been a salesman," he told reporters.
"Now instead of selling war, I'll be selling frozen fries."
The think tank here at Falling Downs wishes you well in your future endeavors, Senator.