Roasting wieners with Mitt Romney

As I've related before, me and Mitt got tight over a couple of chance get-togethers at Grand Bend.

There was that time he had the hound in the cage, up on the roof of the wagon. Good enough to pull the wagon around to let me hook up my booster cables.

Then we met him and Ann and their brood at the restaurant.

I can't believe all that negative stuff they're saying about him now. How he's just a one percenter and got there on the backs of the working people he disenfranchised while he was the big dog at one of those hedge funds?

Haven't revealed it yet, because I'm afraid Gingrich is gonna get hold of it and twist it to his advantage, but me and Mitt and Ann and my missus and about twelve kids had an old school BBQ at our campsite at the Pinerey way back when.

The Pinerey is the provincial park just down the road from Mitt's waterfront place.

So we'd re-acquainted at Bob's Sunoco. Hadn't seen them in a couple years. We're in there getting a bag of ice and Mitt's driving this big black Chevy Suburban. There's three more big black Chevy Suburbans  lined up right behind them. They don't have to put Seamus on the roof anymore; he's riding in one of those other Suburbans that came up from Massachusettes.

So we exchange how-ya-doin's and one thing leads to another, and we tell Mitt we'll be at campsite 249 at the Pinerey and why not pop over for dogs and burgs a little later?

Well, I was just trying to be polite, but holy shit-my-pants, we're sitting around the campfire a couple hours later and up pulls a caravan of black Suburbans. It's Mitt, his 12 member immediate family, and his 17  member secret service detail!

We were utterly flattered and totally pissed off at the same time. We had enough dogs 'n burgs for the immediate family, or most of them anyway, but we were about eight weiner packs and twelve bun packs short to feed the entire caravan.

So the missus, God bless her, comandeers one of the secret service vehicles, and they run into town to the Hasty Mart to grab enough burgs and weiners and enough Busch Lite for the unexpected guests.

Anyway, I gotta say that when you get him around the campfire Mitt's just a regular guy. I personally have been put in the unemployment statistics a couple times because my employer was bought out by Bain Capital. But they do what they gotta do.

If you get to know Mitt while you're sipping a cool one by the fire, you realize he's just playing by the rules. When Mitt says "corporations are people too" he's not speaking from his heart. In his heart he knows the rules will put me out of my next job too, but both me and Mitt realize that it's not his fault or my fault that the rules are the rules.

So Mitt's a good guy in my books. Corporations are people too.