President Obama remains in seclusion today after undergoing what doctors are calling a "nervous collapse" earlier this week.
The President went into a severe depression after the Kremlin announced that Russia's Putin would not be meeting with him at the G-8 conference.
Such a cancellation is unprecedented in modern times. Foreign leaders have been known to wet themselves at the prospect of getting a few minutes and a photo-op with the American president.
In fact, in the publicity photos released after Canadian PM Steven Harper's visit to the White House last February, there is a dark stain clearly visible in the lap of Harper's grey suit trousers.
Doctors have no comment about when the President may be ready to take the reins of office again. Rumors are swirling around Washington that an elite Muslim faith healer is on his way from Kenya.
In the meantime, Joe Biden is the Leader of the Free World.
We're even more screwed than before!
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