Thursday, August 27, 2015

Pot-addled hillbilly snips land-line; goes mobile

Ya, it's true, and I am profoundly sorry.

But the unctuous twats at Bell Canada have only themselves to blame.

I've been a Bell Canada customer for forty years, save for those gaps in my history when I was living in other provinces. What Bell Canada should have recognized is that they always get paid.

Now they didn't always get paid the monthly stipend on the due date. In fact, it was always my modus operandi to let the bill slide for three or four months and then pay it off. But they always got paid.

My modus operandi seemed to work well for Bell till the last couple of years. All of a sudden they got stupid about the bill being paid by the due date. Letting things slide for two or three months was no longer an option, even if you had a forty year track record of making good on your bills.

Beginning a few years ago, Bell reps in India or Pakistan would call me once my account balance passed a hundred bucks. That was vaguely insulting after having paid all my Bell bills for thirty or thirty-five years.

Ya, I don't pay my bill every month. But for thirty or forty years I clear it up on a regular basis.

So last week some person who could barely speak any version of the English language called me up to inform me that I had "missed" my payment.

The bill stood at $162, according to her. She demanded that I pay that outstanding balance with a credit card, right there and then over the phone.

I had paid the bill in its entirety two days before she called.

I hate the entire idea of cellphones. They give you cancer. They get your kids addicted to porn. I don't want that shit anywhere near my house.

But I transferred the farm number to a mobile carrier that very same day.

Not only am I saving fifty bucks a month, I won't have to chit-chat with Bell Canada droids in Pakistan anymore.

Sounds like a win-win to me.

No comments:

Post a Comment