There's a few thousand folks out on a Caribbean cruise having second thoughts tonight.
But it's too late.
They're on the cruise from hell.
The Carnival Triumph set sail from Texas a few days ago. Then the onboard generators quit. No lights, no running water, no air-conditioning, and the toilets don't flush.
There's urine and fecal matter all over the floors and running down the walls. That's piss and shit in layman's terms.
From time to time well-meaning friends and relations give me the pep-talk about what a great thing it is to go on a cruise.
At the best of times this strikes me as being trapped in a really big Super 8 for a week with three thousand strangers, except the rooms are way smaller and you can't hop in your car and get away from those three thousand strangers.
People talk about cruises being a "good deal," but I swear if I ever won a cruise I'd pay someone to take it off my hands.
And that's before the generators quit and the shit starts running down the walls.
No thanks!
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