Thursday, October 31, 2013

Pot-addled investor makes 4,000% return!

Regular readers, all three or four of them, will know that the think tank here at Falling Downs has long had a keen eye for a sharp stock play.

Unfortunately, due to a long series of sharp stock plays that turned out not to be nearly as sharp as they seemed at the time, the Falling Downs Capital Fund has not actually been able to take advantage of these great opportunities since... well, at least since my last divorce, and that's going back a bit.

Nevertheless, you have to admit that the nose for exceptional stock-picking still consistently sniffs out winners, not for our benefit, but for yours. That's why we tried so hard to save David Einhorn 25 millions. Not that the ungrateful prick appreciated it in any way. No, not so much as a Burger King gift card came my way after that effort.

And now that Apple has had a bit of a bump, he probably thinks he was right all along.

What a jerk...

Anyway, none of that has held me back, you'll be happy to know. Back in late May or June I was shopping around for some seed potatoes. As anyone who knows anything is already aware, seed potatoes are just table potatoes gone rotten. What really fried my bacon was finding out that by merely going rotten, those table potatoes had already appreciated 100% in value!

Luckily, chagrined though I was, I forked over ten bucks for ten pounds of "seed" potatoes and got busy.

Here's a little trick I learned from the Shtettl refugees on all sides of the family tree; one seed potato can be halved and even quartered to root two, three, or four potato plants! I just finished digging up the last of my 50+ potato plants the other day, and I've now got a good 400 pounds of potatoes in the back room!

And that's after I had to pitch probably one in three potatoes over the garden fence into the cow pasture because the rainy weather we've been enjoying for the last two months has caused them to go rotten. That 4000% return could have been even higher had I timed the harvest right!

Now of course I have to figure out what to do with four hundred pounds of potatoes. We're not that big on potatoes around here. You can do the latkes once in awhile, but seriously, even with that, and the mandatory baked potatoes with a BBQ'd steak, and the odd bowl of mashed potatoes (with half a pound of butter) to go with the liver 'n onions, I doubt that we're going to see our way through 24 pounds in the next twelve months.

That leaves a lot of potatoes.

I'm thinking vodka.

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