Junior isn't a particularly handy lad but he's quite the intellectual.
Me personally, I'm not that often accused of being the sharpest bulb in the toolshed, and if it wasn't for the striking physical resemblance I'd have doubts about Junior's paternity. Definitely got me beat in the what's upstairs department.
Not that he's done much with it. Spent three or four years sporadically attending high school. Came away with three credits. I got my hopes up once when he asked me where he might find a copy of some obscure Orwell essay.
"Wow!" I exclaimed, "what course is that for?"
"Oh, that's not for a course. I'm just trying to read everything Orwell ever wrote."
He spent those four years mostly chit-chatting with various guidance counsellors about Orwell, the history of jazz, and whether or not marijuana really does impact the development of the teen-age brain. So we're having a debate about religion generally and Christianity in particular. I figure after the brilliant job Bill Maher did debunking Christianity in his film Religulous there couldn't be too many left. Junior claims there's all kinds of folks still true believers.
We came up with an experiment. If we concocted some bizarre Christian artifact, would there be buyers for it? If so, then obviously not enough people have seen the movie.
Aside from being an intellectual Junior has a bit of an artistic bent. After over-toasting a couple of slices of Wonderbread he went to work with the butter knife. On one piece of toast he scraped away the burnt stuff to leave a likeness of the Virgin Mary. On the other, a likeness of Jesus. Then he put them both up for sale on e-bay.
The results were fascinating. Not only are there still lots of true believers out there, but they're willing to part with real money to buy burnt toast! After a week of frenzied bidding the Holy Mother went for $2,115 to a collector in Argentina. Jesus' toast went for a mere $74 to a bidder in New Jersey.
We've sent a copy of the bidding records to the Vatican for comment. No reply yet.
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