Saturday, December 10, 2011

Corporations are people but Palestinians aren't; what to expect from a Gingrich Romney ticket

It's the GOP dream team, Newt and Mitt. The wily carpet-bagger and the slick corporate front-man. Two rich old white guys putting their personal interests on the back burner to do a spot of public service.

Newt has done well for himself in his past adventures in public service. His net worth went from nothing into the tens of millions in the course of his decades of public service. If he can do half as well for America as he's done for himself we'll be in good hands with Newt.

Mitt made his fortune before he became a public servant. Made it in the magical Rumpelstiltskin economy, where gnomes in the know spin straw into gold without ever ever doing any productive work. Mitt understands that real wealth comes from crafty paper-shuffling, not from making stuff or providing useful services. Mitt understands with his heart and soul that yes, corporations are people too.

And it's so true. Corporations get a bad rap in America. I've seen corporations at the food bank, being shunned by the other patrons. How do you think they feel when that happens? Hey, they're people too, dammit! I hope when Mitt gets to the White House corporations will finally get the respect they deserve.

Newt is the perfect VP for Romney. It would not be possible to find a candidate more committed to egalitarianism and justice. Newt is one hundred percent committed to whoever he is making a speech in front of at any given moment.

Yesterday he was sucking up to AIPAC and he said some rude things about Palestinians. You know darn well if the Emir of Qatar pays him to make a speech next week, he'll be singing the praises of the Palestinians and saying rude things about Israel. That's what's great about Gingrich; he treats all checkbooks equally. That speaks volumes of his commitment to fairness.

Obama couldn't ask for a better GOP ticket in 2012.

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