I'd like to thank all my lawyers and everybody else who worked so hard to make this song a hit

I'm watching the Billboard Music Awards.

Yes, as a matter of fact, I do hate myself...

But I did actually hear somebody say those words in the title. If I'm not mistaken it was some guy named John Legend.

I think these awards shows are important. Now that America has been reduced to a couple of dozen hedgie gazillionaires and 300 million "middle class" peons alternating between welfare and minimum wage shit jobs, this kind of spectacle is more important than ever.

It proves that the American Dream is alive and well.

After all, without that illusion, America's formerly working class would have been storming the White House back in the days of Rockin' Ronnie... the only labour leader who ever became president of the United States.

Yes, in America you can in fact put shit on a stick and call it cotton candy... and sell millions!

Oops, gotta go.. Chris Brown is on!

TTFN!