Thursday, May 21, 2015

Waco Police find 14,276 weapons stashed at crime scene

And why not?

CNN had the number at a thousand a little while ago. Seems the erstwhile Sgt. Swanton makes up a new number every time he sees a microphone.

So it could very well be 14,276 by tomorrow...

But it could be thirty-seven the day after. There's a refreshing randomness to Sgt. Swanton's estimates. They go up, they go down, for no apparent reason whatsoever.

On top of the whimsical randomness of Sgt. Swanton, it would also be good if the Waco Police Department ponied up some sort of working definition of exactly what constitutes a "weapon." Sgt. Swanton early on claimed that the bikers were doing battle with "chains."

Anybody who recalls a three hundred pound Satan's Choice biker twirling a ten foot length of manure-spreader chain in the parking lot of the Maryhill Hotel back in the day conjures up a very specific memory when they hear the Waco brawl involved chains. That was the equivalent of a A-10 Warthog raining death on the battlefield. But apparently the "chains" they were battling with in Waco are those six inch chrome-plated jobs that connect a wallet to your belt.

If that's a "weapon," one can only speculate as to what else Sgt. Swanton considers a weapon?

Any serious full-patch dude in a reputable outlaw club is gonna have a wad of hundreds in that wallet, each one of which could potentially inflict a serious paper-cut on an adversary. There was probably guys at that Twin Peaks who had dozens of those weapons in their wallets.

To say nothing of the credit cards. A credit card can indeed cause grievous injury if it falls into the wrong hands.

And what about one of those Swiss Army Knives with three dozen attachments? That's three dozen weapons right there in one compact package!

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