Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Hedge fund hijinx

Bill Ackman isn't what you'd call a patient investor. None of that Warren Buffet-style hold-it-forever nonsense for him. Ackman is a man in a hurry.

Bill's hedge fund Pershing Square Capital has only been a minority shareholder in the Canadian Pacific Railway for a few months and already he's whining to the Wall Street Journal about how his investment is underperforming.

As a minority shareholder of a few months standing he demands changes, big changes, starting at the very top. He wants to see a new CEO at the helm.

That's the first step in "effectuating a cultural transformation", which is hedge fund jargon for kicking the shit out of the workers. CPR's workforce is heavily unionized and enjoys ridiculous benefits like paid overtime and a dental plan. By bringing the company into the 21st century Ackman should be able to cut hundreds of millions in operating costs. That'll bring up the share price enough that Pershing can dump it's shares, walk away with a few hundred million in profits, and carry on with effectuating a cultural transformation on the next victim.

Along the way Bill Ackman builds nothing, invents nothing, discovers nothing, and produces nothing of any value. In return, society rewards him by making him a billionaire.

That's the beauty of capitalism!

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