Monday, June 8, 2015

As tar sands collapse Canada pins economic hopes on seal penises

As oil sands projects are mothballed across Western Canada and employees pink-slipped by the tens of thousands (it's so bad that even some Temporary Foreign Workers are getting the chop) Canada is looking east to save the economy.

As in all the way east to the Gulf of St. Lawrence, where the Harper gang have announced seal quotas of 400,000 harp seals, 60,000 grey seals, and 8,000 hooded seals for this year. That's a lot of seal peckers.

Apparently there's folks in Asian countries who'll pay big bucks for a seal penis. Or at least they used to before Viagra was invented.

The wishful thinkers at the Fur Institute of Canada have cooked up a plan that would see a nine month hunt provide work for forty seal-hunters at a cost of $9 million. Allegedly the Harperites are "studying" the plan.

Here's a better plan; pay each of those seal-hunters $50,000 a year to stay home. That's a grand total two million bucks. The government saves seven million, PLUS saves us the embarrassment of being known as the internationally reviled seal-slaughtering penis peddlers, the target of animal welfare groups around the world, and the laughing stock of the G-7.

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