Friday, July 5, 2013

How to pass a drug test

I guess I should have clarified things right there in the title...

I can't help you if you're on crack or meth or any of that bathtub chemistry-project shit that is going around.

You're on your own. And you're an idiot.

If, on the other hand, your tool of choice is God's own herb, the weed of wisdom, you might want to listen up.

So Buddy who I've known for 40 years has been driving the big rigs from Alaska to Brownsville, from Long Beach to Saint John for about 5 million miles by now, and I know for a fact that at least 4 and a half of those the dude was under the influence of the weed of wisdom.

No, it's not Willy Nelson.

So the reason Buddy never gets nabbed on a dope test is that he keeps a supply of clean pee in his freezer. He gets the call to come in for a random pee test, he's got it figured out to the minute how to get that urine sample that's been in the freezer for six months to body temp in the time it takes to drive to the lab.

That's been working for 40 years.

And there hasn't been an accident in 5 million miles.

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