This week in gratuitous violence

Roxanne Dube is by all accounts a hard-working single mom who got the promotion of a life-time when she was appointed Canada's Consul General in Miami. There is no reason to believe that she expected anything untoward to unfold when her teenage sons Marc and Jean joined her.

Alas, it seems that when Mom left for work, the young ones had other things to do besides go to school. Like ripping off drug dealers!

This would, to anyone with a lick of common sense, be considered a highly lucrative but even more highly dangerous pastime. After all, drug dealers are, by dint of the illegal nature of their trade, forced to provide their own security, which the dealer in Miami targeted by Marc and Jean obviously did.

That should not be a surprise.

The surprise is that these kids had the brass to think they could pull this off. Word is they weren't novices to this game. Being able to take Mom's car with the diplomatic plates probably enhanced their sense of invincibility. Is there a lesson in this? I don't know, but it's obvious that all concerned in this sad tale are collateral damage in the asinine "war on drugs."

Roxanne Dube's kids haven't been the only ones up to no good. Has-been rocker John Mellencamp's kids Speck and Hud found themselves in the news too. Speck? Hud? You don't figure Mr. Mellencamp took a page out of the Johnny Cash "get tough or die" catalogue when he named his kids, do you?

At least nobody died.

Which is unfortunately not the case in our next story.

Christian rockers battle cops in deadly Walmart parking lot brawl. You've got the complete line-up of American totems circa 2015 all rolled up into one story here.

Christians.

Misbehaving musicians.

Cops.

Walmart... holy shit, throw Al Sharpton into the mix and we woulda had us a royal flush here!

Finally, we've got the story of a commercial airliner that had to make an emergency landing because an 87 year old great granny went nutso and bit a flight attendant.

Oh for fucks sakes!

What the hell ever happened to Sky Marshals?

An 87 year old granny bit a flight attendant? And they have to divert the plane and make an emergency landing?

Get the fuck outta here!

Take her dentures away and duct-tape her to the seat.

Problem solved!