Sunday, October 18, 2015

Heckled in the lecture hall

What up with the snow this weekend? Snow in the middle of October? Who knew?

Mind you, go two kilometers up the road to Wolsley, and there's no snow.

Anyway, I was, for no particular reason, reminiscing about my illustrious academic career. As regular readers (thanks Bob, Janet, and Abdul) will know, the pot-addled hillbilly, tiring of his societal role as a high-school drop-out, with all its stereotypes and misconceptions, did in fact attend several institutions of higher learning.

Be warned!

The school from which I allegedly graduated, after not always cordial partings with certain other schools that shall remain nameless, was the University of Guelph, colloquially and more popularly known as U GOO, GOO U, and manifold further iterations on that theme.

Did I tell you about the time I got my car stuck on the stairs while exiting the Bullring?

That snow has got to be one of God's jokes. We're certainly susceptible to snow jokes, eh? With all that global climate change hysteria and all?

So the Big Dog is sitting up there in the sky, and he figures, I'm gonna fuck with these arrogant assholes a bit...

University of Guelph.

"Nuthin' there but steers 'n queers" I remember a guidance counsellor telling me...

Guidance counsellors... what the fuck was wrong with those people?

Why has nobody launched a class action yet?

But I digress...

So I'm in one of those fourth year classes. They were way cool because you had a mix of undergrads and graduate students. You had a relatively high level of faux intellectualism going on. In fact, some of that intellectualism may even have been authentic!

Then again, maybe not.

I'm sitting in the back row of the lecture hall. We are being treated to a discourse on something I can't remember. At the end the discourser opened the floor to questions, as they say.

Although I don't remember my question, I remember my preamble.

"I only have one question..."

At that moment, someone behind me, and I don't know how that happened because throughout my academic career I favoured the very last row in the lecture hall, shouts out, "but it has 27 parts..."

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