Friday, August 1, 2014

Kiss my non-herniated ass

My pal RS spent a lovely few days at the Shouldice Hospital to have a hernia repaired.

To those who have never suffered a hernia, I should point out that the Shouldice Hernia Hospital is one of the top spots in the world to get your hernia fixed up.

It was until recent times known as the "Shouldice Clinic."

If you've never heard of it, it's because you've never had a hernia.

That such an outpost of privatized health care should continue to thrive in the Socialist Republic of Toronto speaks volumes.

As in they really know from hernias.

Now I don't mean to disparage my pal RS. He's a nearly famous writer/photog/artiste who once had a Juno nomination. But, for fucks sakes, he got a hernia lifting a pencil!

And he's told me time and again that I am courting hernia disaster with my shenanigans around Falling Downs.

I was thinking about this the other day, as I was lifting two-foot diameter rounds of dead elm firewood into the back of the truck.

It's all in how you lift it. Lift with your legs, not with your back! That's the secret of staying out of the Shouldice Clinic!

I lifted a good dozen of those into the back of the truck, and next week I'll be lifting them into the wood splitter.

The smaller ones might be around 150 pounds, and they go up to well over 200.

RS and all the other nay-sayers truly believe that a man my age is inviting a trip to the Shouldice Hospital with these feats of strength...

They can kiss my non-herniated ass...

It's all about lifting with your legs.

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