I see where the Jewish People Policy Institute (that's a legit think-tank, by the way - look it up) has a spot of good news for those of us who always aspired to be counted among the Chosen People.
Apparently you can now get a DIY home genetic test kit that will definitively determine whether or not you have "Jewish blood" coursing through your veins!
According to the promoters of this direct-to-consumer DNA testing, this will lead to millions around the world discovering that they have Jewish roots. This discovery will result in those millions immediately developing a love for Israel and applying for Likud membership.
I'm sceptical. Genetics can be a funny thing... I see the potential for this backfiring on a huge scale.
What would happen if we discover that three quarters of the population of Gaza are more Semitic than the Semites of Likud?
Now that would be awkward!