Friday, January 2, 2015

Harry Reid gives up New Year's resolution Jan 1

Seemed like a great idea at the time.

Senate boss Harry Reid had been toying with the idea of getting himself some serious exercise gear for some time. When Santa dropped off the latest Bowflex MAX on Christmas morning, Harry knew right then and there what his New Year's resolution would be; get super-toned and ultra-buff, just like the guys in the Bowflex ads!

Until the Senate investigation committee presents its report we won't know for sure what went wrong. Was it a manufacturing defect? Was it operator negligence? Sabotage? Did Putin's agents infiltrate the Bowflex factory? Could North Korea be behind this dastardly deed?

Or was Senator Reid still half in the bag from a night of celebrating?

What we do know is that by the afternoon of the first day of the New Year, Senator Reid's security detail had delivered him to the local hospital.

"The Senator is resting comfortably," his spokesperson told the media. "After this setback the Senator has made a new resolution; to put the nation first. That means no more risky work-outs on trendy exercise machines. Senator Reid intends to focus on saving America and will defer toning his abs till after retirement."

Now that is a true patriot!

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