NASCAR gets Politically Correct

NASCAR just noticed why so few black folks attend their stock car races; it's that gosh-darned Confederate flag that's been virtually synonymous with the sport since its very inception! It's about time they noticed!

And there's more good news; the newly enlightened NASCAR brain trust is also taking steps to make hispanic fans feel more comfortable. Yup, no more playing footsie with blabber-mouth bigot Donald Trump! That should pack the stands at future races!

Hopefully these are just the first baby steps in NASCAR's new age of sensitivity and inclusiveness. Here's a few suggestions that are sure to broaden the appeal of stock car racing even more:

• replace hotdogs with soydogs at the concession stands, because no living critter had to die to make a soydog
• introduce measures to make NASCAR more LGBT friendly
• cut out those Air Force flyovers in the pre-race ceremonies; it's offensive to pacifists
• eliminate national anthem because it makes Canadian fans feel left out
• get rid of that benediction before the race; it excludes atheists and people of other faiths
• award Cup points for trying hard, because winning isn't everything!