In a finding that is bound to entrench the Saudi Kingdom's prohibitions against female drivers, a research team headed by Professor Kamal Al-Subhi at King Fahd University has discovered that women who drive have sex.
Flying in the face of conventional Western wisdom, which holds that women may be lousy drivers but that a driver's licence is independent of one's slut factor, the report is the result of many years of investigative work by highly trained research teams. The social scientists employed thousands of operatives to track the movements of women in Saudi Arabia who drive cars.
Since only 47 women in the Kingdom have ever driven a car, the research is considered definitive in its conclusions. "All of the women had sex" Professor Al-Subhi informed an academic gathering at his university, "including the three in our sample who were unmarried. Therefore the conclusion is irrefutable: the Kingdom must preserve the prohibitions against female driving or all our women will be fallen women."
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, currently touring Myanmar to promote human rights, has not commented on the report, but analysts note that since we send the Saudis well over one hundred million dollars every day for their oil, anything they do is just fine with us.
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