Friday, January 24, 2014

Welcome to the Blaze 'o Glory Crematory

That's got a ring of truth about it, don't it?

The "Blaze 'o Glory Crematory".

That's where we burn your remains to a crisp and hand them back to your relatives in an urn, for a paltry 10% of the price of a conventional funeral. I've got a team of consultants doing focus groups right now.

We're hoping to get some traction for a first tranche of investment money in the near future. We'll be looking for a mere five millions or so. Then we plan to franchise. After that, we could be looking at an IPO in a couple of years.

I'll have to wait for the final report on those focus groups, but I think we got us a winner here. People just keep a dying, but fewer and fewer can afford the cost of a conventional funeral. I personally don't see the need for focus groups. Then again, you have to have some research to shear investors from their investment dollars these days.

One of the strengths of this concept is the shere honesty of the brand. "Blaze 'o Glory." What better way to say what you want to say without saying too much!

It's in the tradition of the BigAss Chair Company. Tell it like it is and the masses will reward you for your honesty.

There's really nothing new in that. Look around at how many nursing homes have the word "Gateway" in their name. Gateway to what, I wonder? Why, gateway to the Blaze 'o Glory!
Just doing a random Google search, I found "Gateway" nursing homes in New Jersey, Ohio, Oregon, Ontario, and North Carolina, and that was just in the first two pages of results.

Clearly we're onto something here.

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