Sunday, June 1, 2014

Tony Blair to save Europe

While the triumph of the so-called far right in last week's elections for the European Parliament has unleashed a lot of hand-wringing, Tony Blair has kept his cool and volunteered to save Europe from its disgruntled crypto-fascists.

Tony doesn't get that what they're disgruntled about the most is that for too long Europe has been in the hands of professional political careerists just like him. Any role for Tony in EU politics will galvanize anti-EU sentiment throughout Europe.

That aside, one wonders why Tony would step up to the plate for such an onerous assignment. After all, his daily planner must be pretty much full, what with his unofficial role as God's spokesperson, and his official roles as special adviser to JP Morgan and UN special envoy to the Middle East.

Each of these ventures has been an unqualified success; God has held off on the rapture, nobody at JP Morgan has gone to prison, and the two-state solution remains but a distant mirage. Obviously, this is the right man to save Europe!

Presidency of the EU would also stall those pesky activists who have been lobbying for Tony to be tried before the ICC for war crimes.

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