As you know, this Thursday marks the anniversary of 9/11. The 13th anniversary... oh, but that is some scary stuff, no?!
After extensive consultations among the staff here at the Falling Downs think tank, we have come up with a list of the top ten places in America to avoid on Thursday, just in case.
The White House. For obvious reasons. Betcha Obama won't be home...
The Pentagon. If you have to go, watch out for wingless hijacked airplanes.
Freedom Tower. Well, you know why that's on the list. Best to hit the observation deck on Wednesday or Friday... if it's still there.
Wall Street. Ya, the entire street. It's just such a juicy address, no self-respecting terror mastermind would ever give anything with a Wall Street zip code a pass.
Langley VA. Sorry, but what goes around comes around, and the wheel of Karma will catch up to Langley sooner or later. Give it a wide berth on Thursday, just to stay safe.
Seattle. Between Boeing and Microsoft there's just too much good stuff in the city to feel safe on the 13th anniversary of 9/11.
Bloomington Minnesota. Anyplace that is home to something called "Mall of America" is just asking for trouble, even if most of the wares peddled therein hale from oriental lands. Look what happened to the Mall of Kenya. Besides, there's an awful lot of you-know-whats in Minnesota. I was planning a fishing trip there but I put it off till October, just in case.
Rodeo Drive, Beverly Hills. Strictly for the PR value.
Irving Texas. Did you know that Exxon has its own internal "department of foreign affairs"? It's where Kerry gets his talking points and his marching orders, as did Hillary before him.
South Bronx, NYC. Other than apple pie and your mom, what says "USA" more loudly, more proudly, than the old ball game? The Yankees just happen to have a home game on Thursday, and if you're smart, you'll just happen to have a hair appointment or something.