The many uses of ISIS

It has become abundantly clear that the ruling elites throughout the Nations of Virtue have seldom enjoyed such a useful enemy as ISIS.

In the first place, having hordes of disaffected Muslim youth abandon the Islamic ghettos of the great European cities to make jihad in Syria and Iraq serves as a valuable pressure-relief valve. Let them roam around in the deserts of the Levant slaughtering other Muslims, instead of making mischief in Stockholm and Marseilles.

The fear of what these radicalised youth could get up to when they come home in turn gives our rulers another lever with which to further tamp down our ever-eroding civil liberties. What are a few more limits on citizenship and freedom if they'll keep us safe from these fanatics?

Then there is the never-ending gravy train created by the need to train and provision forces that are willing to fight ISIS, because aside from dropping bombs and missiles from a safe distance, we're not. That creates vast wealth for myriad Western defence contractors, sub-contractors, consultants, and weapons manufacturers of all stripes.

ISIS also helps draw the eye away from the systemic human rights abuses among our allies in the region. What's another child shot dead in Gaza by the IDF when compared to this ISIS rampage? What's another dozen be-headings in Saudi Arabia when the blood-thirsty goons of ISIS be-head Western journalists?

And what a great excuse to send our warplanes into Syria to soften up that stubborn al-Assad, all in the name of supporting the moderate opposition, mind you!

Finally, the closer we can come to Iran's borders in the name of fighting ISIS, the shorter that final drive into Tehran will be!

By God, if fate had not provided us with such an extravagantly useful enemy, we would have had to invent them!